I had a little skirmish in the check out line at Trader Joes this morning.
For those of you not acquainted with the store, it’s vast and cheaper than most markets with a good 20 cashiers ready to serve you…therefore the line, despite how long, goes remarkably fast.
That said…
I was the next person to be called when a man jumped in front of me. Apparently he had gotten out of line to get a cantaloupe leaving his cart in his stead. Someone must have pushed it out of the way because when I got there, it was nowhere to be seen. The conversation went something like this:
“Hey lady, what the hell did you do with my cart?”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Are you talking to me?”
“The nerve to move someone else’s property. I should call the manager. God dammit I will call the manager. MANAGER! SHE MOVED MY BASKET!”
Omigod. Who is this lunatic? I’m the one who needs the manager along with an aspirin. In the meantime he wouldn’t let me pass to pay. He was big and more than a little determined to see me serve 5 to 10 for alleged cart napping. Well, I wasn’t taking this lying down.
“If you don’t get out of my way I’m calling the police,” I said, ready for battle. “How dare you speak to me that way and accuse me of such a thing. I didn’t touch your basket. “
OOH…
I then took my little reusable Whole Foods Bag and swung it in his direction making him leap out of the way. He then started to come after me when this young Black kid behind me said, “Don’t even think about it Mister.” He wisely didn’t.
“I got your back lady,” this sweet kid said who insisted on escorting me out. I offered to buy him a cup of coffee but he said he was late for school. His chivalry neutralized my irritation.
To think you’re not even safe at 8 in the morning buying yogurt and toilet paper.
Only in New York folks…
Only in New York!
SB
First of all, aren’t there rules at Trader Joe’s like “No Lunatics Allowed”? Nothing makes me happier than hearing that chivalry is alive and well, it’s so rare these days.
Yes, he was my knight in droopy jeans. You know, the kind that fall showing off the tops of spiffy boxer shorts? I’m sure the 2 of us were quite a visual.
I guess it’s just world wide…back here in India its really bad for women
I’m sorry to hear that. Women will always have to rally for themselves wherever they happen to be.
Good grief! He should have looked for his damn cart and got in line after you. I hate people who leave their carts in the line and dash to get something else. Their turn comes up, the cashier isn’t sure what to do. I am next in line waiting. As soon as I put my stuff on the belt, the person shows up a little miffed that I didn’t put their stuff on the belt and check them out! It happens all over but I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone ready to hit someone over it. Only in NY!
He was really nuts…the rage factor was over the top however, mine matched it which was rather illuminating. I was beside myself a peaceful settlement the furthest thing from my mind. That kid was a saint because God only knows what would have happened next.
Who emptied the asylums? Koch hasn’t been mayor for 24 years!
Susannah, you get into a lot of scrapes. Do you like living dangerously? I’d take years to collect as many encounters of the threatening kind as you do in a week. I suppose I’m a bit bigger than you though.
I was just talking to my friend Jed about attracting nuts. Why me? Luckily it makes good reading material but you’re right, danger lurks and I should be more careful. I didn’t exactly defuse the situation. My immediate impulse was to run into the mosh pit as it were. Need to watch that. And yes, you are a lot bigger than me. He would have thought twice tangling with Wobsey.
He probably would. In truth, I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper bag. I’ve never had to so I didn’t get the practice like the little guys.
As usual I’m almost certain you are underestimating yourself Rob.
Well, I am a black belt in origami.
Excuse my french but that is just fucking nuts! Glad you had some back up.
I love your fucking French. How’s the wedding coming?
Not too badly, got someone to marry us now, working on some details with the bridesmaids and decided who gets to be Maid of Honor. I’m on a diet to lose a bit of weight before I buy the dress. It’s going pretty well. Still got to decide on photography and food and little details but so far as good.
I am very excited for you. I know you are going to make the most breathtaking, beautiful bride England has ever seen.
I get the feeling everything is an adventure with you Sussnah! You must just have this aura that attracts all the nutcases.
I just write about them Joe. I bet you have many adventures of your own…pay attention to them and you too can pen a post or two. Also, you forget what city I live in.
They should have a sign: “A cart is not a placeholder.” Jeez. Reminds me of the woman in Tennessee who left her car running while she went inside to pay for her gas. Hello? When you walk away from things, they frequently are not where you left them. Especially things that are in the way and things that are highly valuable. His lesson to be learned. I would have charged right in like you did and I can’t fight worth a damn. And I’ve been in fights that proved it. LOL. Glad the sartorially-challenged young man still had the wits to choose the more principled person. Stay safe!
I seem to attract the insane. Just yesterday I had an altercation with a UPS man in Brooklyn. I wrote an essay about it. I treat everything as a potential post which is why it seems I am always at the scene of the crime drama wise. People tend to leave things running, sitting, lolling….no explanation is to be had on this end. Nice to hear from you as always..
I have never had an angry encounter with a stranger. I would probably cry, then punch ‘em and end up in jail…or more likely the hospital.
I’m glad to hear that. I have too many to say the least. People are angry it seems. I try to be aware when I’m upset over something not letting it spill out over my daily encounters. Not making excuses for him but there’s a low grade tension on the streets (and in Trader Joes) lately.
You’re my kinda guy Teddy
I would have pepper-sprayed his ass. Crazy people coming unglued over a grocery cart…
You could have rode your motorcycle through the produce aisle…leveled that melon of his