- © 2011-2018 My eBooks, Notes From A Working Cat, A New York Diary and Model Behavior: Friends For life are available @ http://www.amazon.com by tapping on their covers.
In front of Starbucks…87th and Third – 6:00 a.m.
I’m watching a young boy stagger down the street with his pants down around his ankles, and he can’t be more than 16. Obviously out all night, a quart of Jameson as his date he’s still clutching protectively.
This is the second Upper East Side kid I’ve seen in somewhat disturbing disgrace, the other, pelting eggs at stunned pedestrians.
I have one question, as mundane as it is…where are the parents? Sleeping at 6 a.m. I’d imagine, but how could you sleep not knowing where your son is?
This is how it starts, addiction in all its debilitating glory.
A stolen bottle of liquor, someone over 21 agreeing to buy him a six-pack of beer. By the time he’s of age, and can buy it himself, he’ll have a good, rooted habit already beneath his belt he sadly, at 16, forgot to put on which is why he’s obliviously mooning all of Third Ave.
I just don’t get it. I wasn’t lucky enough to have children which, from my standpoint, is the ultimate grace.
How can parents be this casual? Makes me think of Columbine and Sandy Hook, when one wonders, how did that happen?
It’s called, not paying enough attention to your kids.
As I stand outside drinking my coffee, no longer able to sit, the booths taped up like a crime scene, I’m watching him careen down the street, stumbling and falling, barely able to hold up his jeans.
It’s breaking my heart, and no, Joan of Arc, or Bark as I’m better known, will not go rescue him, but I’ve prayed in my own scrappy, urban language…
Hey God, wake the fuck up please, and help this kid? Thank you.
I’m referring to an old-fashioned type of male you don’t see so much anymore.
The man who steps up, no matter what.
The fella who faces the bully, chases the bad guy, who runs into the burning building to save the cat.
He never forgets to call his mom, check the oil, or send flowers on your birthday.
Men who were taught to be men, as part of their heritage.
The kind that come with broad shoulders you can lean on, but still gets misty when his 10 year-old son hits a homer in Little League.
Firefighters, policemen and soldiers fall into that category, the roll up your sleeves type who aren’t afraid to get a little dirty.
Of course there’s also the ‘did well’ politician who doesn’t forget where his roots are, or the one who, despite an impressive lineage, has your back.
If you’re lucky enough to find one of these men, hold onto him, and hopefully, and more than likely, he’ll be a lover of good food, books, old films and a patriot to boot.
He’ll tell you he loves you even at your worse, as he tousles your head and kisses your nose, on his way to help a friend.
Too bad there wasn’t a number you could call to order one, like a good pizza.
1-800 -STRONG MAN…WITH CHEESE
Between Covid life, and the heat, people are getting up earlier.
Nature, however, never alters her rhythms, no matter what.
It’s daybreak, the prettiest time of the morning, as I make my way north.
There are bikers to my right, and runners coming towards me as well as those approaching behind.
Suddenly there’s a troop of raccoons coming out of the brush, what looks like a mom and her brood, heading home.
Like hearing a shot, we all stop…the bikers putting on their breaks as we runners slow our steps, allowing them to pass.
And they do, on cue, giving no concern to us keeping to their normal schedule.
I half expect mom to wave, as she brings up the rear, making sure her kids, their small, striped heads, are all accounted for.
Must be nice knowing, she never has to worry about any of them leaving the house, without their mask.
I was on my way to a laundry with my bath mat cradled in my arms, when I happened to pass one I’ve never noticed before.
A tiny, elderly Asian woman was in this little space, all alone folding sheets.
On impulse, I went in.
The whole place seemed as if it was moved by flat truck from another era, from the starkness of the walls to the lone light bulb dangling from the ceiling. But the one thing that you couldn’t miss, was the detectable smell of cleanliness.
My kinda place.
When she saw me, she gently placed her sheet across a table covered with oilcloth, before coming over.
Her tired face greeted me with no expression, when it realized it forgot its mask. I laughed since, this happens to me often, now keeping a spare in my purse.
“How much to wash my mat?” I politely ask.
She takes it, unfolding it like a flag, looks it over and says…
“5 dolla…should be 8, but I…no mind.”
I, of course, immediately fall in love with the Asian Joan of Arc.
Quickly deciding for 5 bucks, rather than sit by a noisy washer/dryer for two hours, can go home to write, said…
She chirps, “Come back…3. “
I thought of her during the day, how hard she must work, yet can still find it in her to be kind to a stranger.
Promptly at 3, I return with a modest box of cookies and a tea bag.
I’ve learned to give appropriately, so not to embarrass nor upset the recipient.
I then watch this tired, old face break into a smile, as she hands me, Mat, who smells like the sea on a sunny, summer’s day.
We’ll be back.
This piece concerns three men:
John Kennedy, Bill Clinton and Eliot Spitzer, the latter, the former Governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo’s disgraced predecessor, who in 2008, stepped down due to his inappropriate sexual conduct rivaling the Marquis de Sade’s.
We’ll get back to him.
Stepping up to the plate, William Jefferson Clinton in 1998, caught literally with his pants down with a young intern a mere seven years younger than his daughter.
Wild Bill HANDCOCK, who didn’t feel oral sex was sex, lying through his moans while on the phone discussing state secrets, loves to say JFK was his hero.
A photo of him in 1963, meeting JFK at the White House, the role model he appeared to be.
Kennedy’s flagrant in flagrante delicto, Latin for, in blazing offense, is now common knowledge, but not in 1963.
Right before Dallas, a reporter called Bobby at the State Department, saying, they couldn’t cover for his brother’s behavior much longer. J. Edgar Hoover, the head of the FBI, had compiled quite a file he planned making public.
Bobby then went to his father who said, “Who cares how many times Jack gets laid. Good! He should get laid more.”
Meet John and Bobby’s, tossing in Ted’s, role model.
It stayed under wraps longer than it would have if JFK had lived to serve his second term, Hoover was determined to undermine.
Spitzer too was a JFK fan, sometimes screwing three call girls in one day at a hotel, three blocks from his house, so my theory is, they thought banging women over lunch was perfectly acceptable.
You want to feel sorry for their wives, and the only one deserving is Silda Spitzer, divorcing her Marquis in 2014 she stoically stayed with throughout the scandal for the sake of her three daughters.
But Jackie covered up Jack’s indiscretions creating the myth of Camelot.
‘Don’t let it be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief moment that was known as Camelot.’
Yeah Yeah. King Arthur he wasn’t, but boy could she spin a tale, since she knew all about his bad behavior.
As for Hillary, Bubba’s behavior too was no surprise, and like Mrs. Kennedy and many other wives who turn the other way as they buy another dress, as long as they weren’t publicly embarrassed said, have a good time in JFK’s White House pool, that by the time the Clintons arrived, had been turned into the press room, by DICK Nixon.
As for me, I like the connection, putting these three flawed men together.
How history does repeat itself, for better…
or for worse.
John Waters wrote a book called, Mr Know it All.
I could easily pen the sequel…Miss Know it All since, I too think I’m always right.
For instance, the first time I saw the giant blow-up rat perched on the back of a flat truck parked in front of a building, thought it was a Disney promotion.
It’s what the Teamsters do to shame a company when hiring nonunion workers.
Donald Trump does not wear a toupee. I would tell people that he did, since, why else would his hair look that way?
Catfish have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with an actual cat. Yeah, I did think in my youth, it was some poor stray pan fried, served with coleslaw, fries and tartar sauce.
When a woman is referred to as stacked, it has nothing to do with her poker game.
I read, therefore believed, eating cheese before bed will give you nightmares, hence, no pizza for me after 5.
I’m Italian. Talk about post traumatic stress disorder, my Mozzarella light blinking.
Bats are not blind, it’s not why they fly in your window by mistake.
Kim Kardashian did not have an ass transplant.
Eating oysters, if you’re just not in the mood, will not turn you into Mae West. When I think of all those I reluctantly slurped, while waiting for my libido to launch.
Cary Grant is not buried in Grant’s Tomb. I was a kid when I thought this, not realizing he was still alive, as well as when my mother said, I better keep an eye on Barbie and Ken so they didn’t fool around…as shrink number 33 said…
that’s all the time we have for today Susannah…so will that be cash, or a check???