Why can’t I say FUCK?
It was brought to my attention that I have been using the F WORD a bit too flagrantly in my daily written diatribes, like salt, he said.
I beg to differ. I don’t feel I’ve used it flagrantly enough.
First of all, it says so much for such a little guy. When chosen to explain how one’s feeling over something, over anything for that matter, it’s efficient, concise and knocks the doors off any sentence.
How many words can you say that about? It’s not really a word you say, it’s considered slang – or crass, informal jargon for certain types of people? If that were true, and it’s not, I’d fight to be one of those people, I love it that much.
According to The American Heritage Dictionary, it’s most definitely a word and a very well represented one at that. “TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH – TO FOOL AROUND OR ENGAGE IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE – TO FUCK WITH – TO TREAT UNFAIRLY – FUCK OFF, AS TO LEAVE AT ONCE (and my personal favorite) TO EXPRESS UMBRAGE TO ANOTHER.
I was raised never, ever to say the word FUCK. It was simply not permitted. I was told at a very early age if that sound ever came out of my mouth, my tongue would rot and my teeth would fall out. Welcome to Connecticut, The Nutmeg State.
I remember being no more than 9 huddled in a corner of my room taking the mighty chance of whispering it just to see if anything would actually happen. I mean, how much harm could a whispered FUCK do to one’s tongue? Think about it. Maybe the most I’d get would be a cold sore or perhaps bleeding gums. Also, if no one heard me say it, would it even count? I didn’t even let the cat in on it afraid she’d run and tell my mother (I was 9 going on 3).
Now that I’m older and have said it enough times to disintegrate 1000 times over, I can happily report, that tongue and teeth business was only a myth. The lies our parents tell us like the moon is made of green cheese or in my case, mozzarella, and how kissing gets young girls pregnant are so misleading. If that were the case, I’d be that “Little Old Woman who lived in a shoe who had so many children she didn’t know what the FUCK to do” since I love kissing that much.
That’s my all time favorite nursery rhyme. Adding the word FUCK just gives it more flavor, don’t you think?
As for my critical friend who’s been demoted to casual acquaintance, I have but 2 words for him. GOOD LUCK!
Fooled you, didn’t I?