Temper Temper

I’m about ready to blow my stack, as my father used to say. I can feel it, like mercury inching up a thermometer.

A friend said it could be the changing of the seasons, perhaps I’m acclimating to the warmer temperatures. I don’t know what it is but I’ve had 3 fights already this morning and it’s only 9 o’clock.

Someone had dropped wet trash in the hallway and didn’t clean it up. I realized who it was because some junk mail was included in the mess. I twirled around and banged on the woman’s door truly wanting to kill her. There’s a history here since she’s the Mrs. Havisham of the building.

“My bag broke,” she said indifferently, while feeding her dog apple sauce with a gravy ladle.

“Yeah, and…”

“I just haven’t gotten around to cleaning it up yet. Portia needed to eat.”

I lost it, I couldn’t help it.

I demanded she come out at once and clean it. She wasn’t too thrilled but complied.

Then we had the Irish woman I see every morning in the coffee shop. I wrote about her once, she’s the one who hates rain. She can’t, for the life of her, get my name right. I’ve told her 10 times, it’s Susannah but she insists on calling me Bianca. I realize she’s getting my last name mixed up with my first but come on, do I need to wear a name tag? To make matters worse, now the young girl who waits on me is calling me Bianca too. This morning some guy piped in and said, “Hey, did your mother name you after Bianca Jagger, cause I love the Stones man.”

Bianca Jagger? Oh boy, did he say the wrong thing.

“NO SHE DIDN’T, AND DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SHE DIDN’T, BECAUSE MY NAME IS SUSANNAH!!!” (not to mention she’s only a few years older than I am)

Something tells me he’ll be getting his egg on a roll elsewhere from now on.

Coming back from my run I encountered a doorman hosing down the canopy of the building he works in. It was like Niagara Falls on 80th Street. As I approached I assumed he’d turn it off to let me pass but instead he said in a voice that went through me like a double edged razor, “Walk in the street lady.”

Well, yes, that didn’t exactly sit well with me. It’s like he flipped a switch that sent me off to the races.

What did I say to him?

How bout, “COME OFF THAT LADDER AND MAKE ME.” Oh yes, the prizefighter in me that is normally under wraps came out in full force. It was as if I was channeling Rocky Graziano. If the on duty doorman hadn’t come out I don’t know what would have happened. The hoser’s tone of voice along with his lack of consideration is a very lethal combo testing my already limited tolerance. If he had asked nicely, I probably would have gone around, but we’ll never know, now will we?

This reminds me of a Clinton joke I like. ‘How come Bill doesn’t like when Hilary wears skirts? Because then her balls show.’

I felt mine were hanging out beneath my shorts.

The big question for me is, why am I so edgy? I’d like to blame it on spring but what exactly did spring do to me? I’m actually enjoying it. Haven’t worn socks in a week, it’s blazer weather and my windows are all wide open.

Something is bothering me alright, just can’t put my finger on it.

All things pass, as they say in 12 Step. I suppose this will too, but in the meantime, watch out world, Bianca’s on a tear.  

SB

About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in humor, New York City, Women and men and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Temper Temper

  1. Yeah! You go, Bianca! I mean Susannah! Don’t hurt me! 😛

    Like

  2. Ok…where do we begin…now you are Badass Brass Balls with a Baguette. You better figure it out before you are sporting an orange jumpsuit. Even though you are probably the only one I know who is body worthy of wearing a jumpsuit, remember it is orange, there are no accessories and it comes with one pair of sneakers….that have seen their share of feet. Now, make some bruschetta with that baguette and chillax!

    Like

    • That’s very funny. Yeah, I think bigger things are troubling me so the minutia is getting way under my skin. I like orange, it’s cheery.

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      • Orange tends to loose that cheer through the prison bars! Honestly, as I was reading this post I thought..”Is this Susannah or Joe Pesce in Casino?”
        I know how you feel, it’s no fun so try to make peace.

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      • Sometimes I want to shut down the blog. I can’t entertain everyone all the time. I’m speaking in general. I started it as a venue to write.

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      • I know exactly what you mean! There is a sense of expectation that can really do a number on your head. The thing to remind yourself that you started this to write, that is what you are doing and you are “entertaining” whether it’s through venting, enlightening us all on historical facts or getting a political debate started. Don’t look at it as “having to entertain”… look at it as providing enlightenment one post at a time. Your writing makes me think and I enjoy it every day.

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      • You’re very sweet to write all that to me. I appreciate it. Thank you.

        Like

  3. How fitting – I nominated you for the Sunshine Award!
    Come check it out: http://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/

    Like

  4. Cat Forsley says:

    HUGS HUGS ……………..
    IT WILL PASS RIGHT ?
    ONE NANOSECOND AT A TIME.
    THAT’S THE ONLY I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH LIFE …XO
    CAT

    Like

  5. D. D. Syrdal says:

    I dunno, seems like a typical New York day to me 😉 Mercury’s not even retrograde. People are just obnoxious. Something about living in cities in proximity to so many others seems to make some persons behave as if they were the only ones in the world. Perhaps a meditation on the eternal OM is in order 🙂

    Like

  6. Vasca says:

    Rumors around that NYC is typically as you experienced today! Hope not. In today’s society it almost takes a superhuman to remain civil and out of jail. Been working on smiling and not ‘road-raging’ when driving…grrr! Lots of maniacs out there. Be thankful you don’t drive, Susannah. Few years back I was driving on an Interstate when pow…my headlights, windshield were taken out by some clowns ‘rockin’ around’. Justice came later w/a surprise restitution from the kids involved…thanks to their parents! Should’ve had you riding shotgun; you would’ve handled ’em!

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  7. Rob says:

    What’s in a name, Susannah? Maybe a little more stoicism and be grateful that they remembered you at all, even if the name wasn’t quite right. Smile sweetly because it needles those who seek to upset you! 🙂

    Like

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