Why Clooney Isn’t Married

I was sitting at a cafe listening to a conversation between two couples on why George Clooney has never been married. Naturally one guy with arms the size of grapefruits said, he’s probably gay, there can be no other reason.

The other, who to me seemed a lot more on the ball, said it was because Clooney was smart causing one of the women presumably his wife (she wore a wedding ring and a dirty look) to ask, “And what’s that supposed to mean Jack?” “He’s got the world by the balls,” Jack said, “so he doesn’t have the same needs the rest of us have.” Nice save there pal since the Missus seemed to buy it.

I’m convinced many men want to be George Clooney for obvious reasons. He’s handsome, rich and yes, he has the world by the balls.

I feel some people who are really comfortable with themselves don’t necessarily require a live-in, legal partner. I happen to be one of them. Of course I wish I had old George’s money but that’s not really the issue here.

Self-possession is what’s on the table.

Being self-possessed means to be calm, confident and in control of one’s feelings.

If you like your own company and enjoy time by yourself, a very healthy habit by the way, you can have relationships that come with space. I’m not speaking of screwing other people, it’s just that more air flows between you allowing both parties to flourish individually as well as together.

George seems to practice this since he always has a beauty on his arm, but he clearly doesn’t want a wife and kids, at least not up till now. But who knows what’s gestating in the wings.

The other girl said, “Why does he always break up with his girlfriends after a year or two?”

“It’s cause he can’t commit,” said Jack’s wife.

“He sure trades-em in like cars, doesn’t he,” snapped Grapefruit.

“Yeah but, wouldn’t it just be easier to stick with one you already know how to drive?”

Wow, did I want to put my two cents in. I was frothing at the mouth. First of all, we don’t know the particulars but I can tell you this, I’m betting George terminates because of the female pressure that arises after a certain amount of time goes by.

Women have an agenda. We do. It’s: first we’re dating, now we’re exclusive, we’re thinking of moving in together but I really want him to give me a nice big, fat ring first, so I know he cares. You know this is exactly how it goes. We can never just be satisfied with what is. We have another goalie to make or we’re just not happy. Now I realize when one wants children it’s a whole other ballgame…tick-tock and all that…but I’m referring to basics…the soap and water.

I can say this because when I was younger I too was a prowling princess. My self-esteem, or lack of it, had to always know that more was coming. What I learned was that I was actually repelling the man I was with.

Men don’t like to be hunted. That’s their job, to hunt and bag you. I’m not saying you should lie in the trap with your legs open, but you participate, by being femininely female and not so neurotically needy. Men love that too. Trust me. Dislodge yourself from that hip…NOW.

Boy, could I lecture on this.

If I knew in my 30s and 40s what I know in my 50s (you’re in a frenetic free fall in your 20s), God knows what would have happened. For those young’uns out there who only want a husband, trust is much more valuable than an 8 carat diamond. If I found a man I was smitten with and he with me and I could trust him, it would be like winning the Kentucky Derby and I’d be very content to say the least.

Also, men act much better if you leave them the fuck alone. I watched how the 2 women treated theirs like big kids with cash. I was so turned off. I’ve said it before, leave their balls alone unless you’re about to nuzzle them sweetly. Emasculation kills…would make a great bumper sticker…but let’s go back to George.

I’ve never heard anything mean said about him. He’s tremendously generous with his money, a great friend along with having wonderful parents that he’s very close to. Yes, he lives a royal life, no question, but he’s earned it…he wasn’t always this successful. He also consciously spreads his wealth so what if he never does tie the knot?

So what.

I had a George sighting once when, at The St. Regis Hotel’s King Cole Bar he picked up my wallet that had fallen onto the floor. I wrote about it in an essay that ran in More Magazine and yes, my heart almost burst at the seams. He was handsome, polite, charming and oozed sex appeal like a fountain of porn. I’m not sure I’ve ever gotten over it.

I think he’s not married because he’s just plain happy as a single man. I wouldn’t screw around with that recipe either. And maybe if the woman on his arm would just be happy too, who knows what could happen.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Cinema, Gratitude, humor, Love, money, sex, sexual relationships, Uncategorized, Women and men and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Why Clooney Isn’t Married

  1. Amen! What the fuck is so wrong with being content with your life? Our society immediately slams you with a slew of labels if you’re not married and Happy is not one of those labels. You are dead on as to why his relationships don’t last…it’s NOT him. I can just imagine them leaving “hints” all over his place, you know like wedding dresses.
    It doesn’t stop either Susannah. When my father died women were always trying to get my mom involved with men. Her response “I served my time.” She knew at that point she also had the world by the balls!
    ps. I would have died on the spot at the St. Regis….hahaha!


    • Served my time…would like that crocheted on a pillow please. A woman I sort of know asked me to come to dinner and the reason I declined was because I’m worried it’s one of those Italian set-ups. She said only another couple is coming, but my antenna went right up. It bothers her that I’m single. It’s like I’m on the loose. I love men, but you want the right one. Now take Chester, if he were into tall, skinny goils with a pinch of arthritis, the sky could be the limit 🙂


  2. Rob says:

    I liked reading your piece (as ever). I’m biting my tongue here. This is a subject (not Mr. Clooney’s habits but generally) that interests me greatly, as you know.


    • Why are you biting your tongue. If you have an opinion let’s hear it Rob.


      • Rob says:

        I just think this is an incredibly complex subject. People (including Clooney) are subject to myriad forces that they do not understand and probably don’t want to understand. You could write volumes and barely scratch the surface of what is known, which is tiny compared to the unknown.


      • Could you be a little bit more vague? What are you talking about if I may ask?


      • Rob says:

        Sorry. The whole physical attraction/coupling/partnerships thing. It seemed to me that was what you and your observees were skirting around, whilst discussing Clooney’s love life.


  3. Joe Owens says:

    I feel like I am enlioghtened enough to understand than being single workd for some people. I have two sister-in-law who are certainly not considered to be lsebians, but decided there wa no man they wanted to surrender their individuality to. I endorse marriage, by the way, as aveteran of twenty years I can say the benefits are many. I suppose with the wrong spuse it could be a horrid time, but that is not my experience.

    For those brave souls that resit the shcakles of tradition that society wishes to calamp on them being single can be a perfectly acceptable normal. getting married ofr the sake of another’s opinion is far worse than being alone. I am glad to know you made this choic and are comfortable with it.


    • What a wonderful comment Joe. Always great to hear the male point of view. I endorse marriage if it remains healthy. Sadly, that is not always the case. Glad you’re so happy and content in yours 🙂


  4. katecrimmins says:

    I think the papparazzi fuels it to. The public won’t be happy until he is married. I don’t know why. I spent most of my life alone and was very content. Now I am married and equally content. What I like most about Clooney (besides his oozing appeal) is his tenderness to animals. He has a pet pig for heaven’s sake! Any man who is kind to animals is a good person.


    • I remember years ago he had a ferret. I think he’s kind across the board…very aware of being broadly blessed. Yes, we like George, single, married…as long as he’s happy. As far as his pet pig goes, we will assume he does not eat pork 🙂


  5. Vasca Beall says:

    George? Aah, George! He apparently has what he wants and he seems perfectly content…why in the world would he want to mess it up? Publicity spotlight is merciless and 24/7 on high beam. I love being married…he might also like marriage. Then again, he may never want it…and that’s probably a wise course for someone like him. He’s a super-star w/all the right stuff…oh does he ever have it all. He might as well hang onto it…happiness is yours, George!


  6. If being called gay meant having sex with the women george has slept with? Sign me up and get me a rainbow bumpersticker !


  7. Jeanette Hamilton says:

    I’m totally in agreement with you…everyone needs to leave George alone and let him enjoy his life. This post brings to mind a comment made by Kinky Friedman when he was running for governor of Texas a few years ago. When asked about his position on gay marriage, he said he was in favor because “they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.” I’m married but I was single for most of my adult years, so I know the joys of both. I say George should just leave well enough alone.


    • Why we criticize is beyond me. Nitpicking, that’s what we do. He’s a lucky guy and from the looks of it, he knows it. He’s always doing good and very conscious of his blessings. I don’t think he’s gay, just happy.


  8. kerrycooks says:

    “Lie in a trap with your legs open” You’re the BEST


  9. merryprangster says:

    George Clooney actually was married, from 1989 to 1993, to actress(?) Talia Balsam. He probably has more than enough strum and drang in his life without a wife. And I agree that he probably politely says goodbye once they give him the marriage ultimatum. Didn’t he live with that French girl for something like seven years? I don’t think he’s gay or afraid of commitment or anything like that. I think he knows what he wants. And it’s not marraige.


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