The Academy Awards made me yawn. Let’s just say it was no Downton Abbey. Between that sea of cleavage that looked like one too many eggs sunny side up, and Jennifer Lawrence’s prat fall, it took everything I had to wait for Abe.
Yes, of course he won, he was president and loved theater don’t forget. Daniel Day-Lewis will always slam dunk any character he plays. I heard Tom Thumb is up next.
“But he’s so tall, Camille said, Tom was a midget wasn’t he?”
“The correct term is little person, and Dan will do what’s necessary Camille even if he has to surgically remove 8 inches off his height.”
I was surprised that Tommy Lee Jones was passed over for Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained. His performance in Lincoln was so moving. Word on the street is his bad toupee turned off the voters. Thaddeus Stevens actually wore a bad toupee. He was famous for it.
“You mean that wasn’t because Tommy Lee is bald as an eagle?” Camille said, shocked.
“Camille, come on. Tommy Lee is loaded, you don’t think he could have done better than that?”
“So that’s why it looked like road kill. I wondered.”
Speaking of hair, let’s face it, Ann Hathaway won for hers. That’s such a great cut. Come on, the movie blew. The version of Les Miserables with Uma and Liam Neeson is far, far better. Rent it and give Victor Hugo his due. I personally think his estate should sue for all that bad lip-syncing. I know they sang live, that’s just how bad I thought it was.
I’m happy to see that Ben Affleck has finally been forgiven by Hollywood for dating Jennifer Lopez. Argo really is a great film and should have swept the evening the same way Dances With Wolves did way back when.
I understand Steven Spielberg is in a coma this morning. So he wasn’t the big cheese this year. Grow up Steven. Ben deserved it and you know it, and how many have you won already?
And as far as the host went, Seth MacFarlane is no Bob Hope who would have been funnier exhumed and propped up on apple boxes.
In any event, I’m exhausted this morning but it was well worth seeing Abraham Lincoln win.
Was anyone really surprised besides Denzel?
Oh he’ll get over it.