I was invited to an in-house fashion show to see a designer’s (who will remain nameless) new fall line. Yes, it’s September already on 7th Ave. and 36th Street.
These shows normally bore, not to mention annoy me since you’re seated on hard folding chairs wedged between women wearing enough cologne to be considered acts of terrorism. Ladies that could never even fit into any of the clothes crane their necks like pelicans as if they’re at a Yankee game stuffed in really cheap seats (which are probably more comfortable).
I went mainly because I know this person and she said they’d be wine and crudites. Doesn’t take much, does it.
Well, my biggest objection besides my show-mates were the amount of accouterments the models, that were all 12 by the way, came galloping out in. That’s another no-no for me. When your runway is the size of a postage stamp, calm the fuck down. Imagine a horse race at your local hardware store.
They had so many chains and bracelets, belts and boas, you’d have to start dressing after breakfast to be ready on time for dinner. You’d also need an attendant to zip and fasten, button and loop. I really didn’t get it.
I myself like to jump in my dress and go, like it’s a car idling.
When Giselle, I’ll call her, asked for my views I was happy the wine was so bad that I didn’t have much because I just may have told her, Giselle honey, you took fashion back a good 300 years.
Less is more, even Coco Chanel said it and she too liked her ropes of pearls that a woman could have easily hung herself with.
When you walk into a room you want people to see you, not your Visa statement because that’s all you see…the underlying expense gracing your backside.
I will say, Madam Giselle does use beautiful fabric from a mill she goes to twice a year in Como Italy that weaves like no other, therefore she’s pricy. Add all the impedimenta that comes with each ensemble and you’ll be sitting in debtor’s prison looking like a depressed display case.
I know I’m not at my best, but my eye, believe me, is still pretty sharp. You know what they say, lose one of your senses and sharpen the rest. I don’t know who said it, probably Camille or my shoemaker Phil who sharpens everything.
Giselle told me how nice I looked in my simple black Theory dress with my ONE STRAND OF PEARLS. I wonder what she was really thinking. You know Susannah, you could use a few more, like maybe 70…you will have to hold onto things mind you as you walk, so you don’t tip over.
I’m just saying.
When I stroll in a room, I don’t ever want to look like I’m sneaking out of a hotel by having it seem that I’m wearing everything I own at once.
I’m sorry, but…
that just will not do..