Wax This

Men have it made.

Women see one stray hair peeking out of their shorts that sends them running hysterically to their leg waxer.

Men on the other hand go through life all furry thoroughly accepted in society like loose zoo animals.

What brought this on?

A guy I saw at the track…the running track, not the race track. Don’t want you to think I’m spending my afternoons in a big hat nagging some nag.

He was the hairiest man I had ever seen walking with a gorgeous girl who had, I would say, a good twenty piercings. She looked like a very pretty pin cushion. I thought he should come with a warning label: DANGEROUS WHEN WET.

I was reminded of Mr. Delucci, the father of two childhood friends, Mandy and Janet. A handsome man of Greek decent with enough fur on his back and arms to make him an endangered species….like the guy would have been shot on site in any town in Maine.

We’d watch him mow the lawn, his shirtless chest dripping with matted perspiration.

Why didn’t Mrs. Detucci just shave him the same way she did their poodle Snowflake? When you’re eight you really can’t understand why adults don’t just make things easier on themselves, like when we took our shirts off to run under the sprinkler.

The guy at the track wasn’t as good looking as Mr. Detucci, but they could have been identical mufflers in the amount of hair they both had.

The word for this is hirsute, which aptly means hairy… they described him as unusually large and hirsuteshaggy, bushy, hair-covered; woolly, furry, fleecy, fuzzy; bearded, unshaven, bristly.

Makes you want to break out into the soundtrack of HAIR, doesn’t it?

I strolled behind this circus-like couple really wanting to ask, what’s it like being so follicly endowed (yes I coined a word), but was once again rescued by my good manners.

Maybe she likes men who dub as comforters…he’s probably warm and cozy…though I bet she has to leave the air on full blast whenever he’s around.

We’re already in July don’t forget.

If I liked a guy who came with that much packaging, I’d slip him a Groupon since a coupon, let’s face it, just wouldn’t do it.ย  ย  ย images

Oh come on, where’s your sense of humor?



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Beauty, humor, New York City, sex, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Wax This

  1. manty67 says:

    I had a real problem with hairy men, it would turn me off big time, that was until I met a certain guy who came all hairy, thankfully not monkey like but still enough that you could curl your fingers in his hair, funny how the right man can do that. Alas it didn’t work out between us lol ๐Ÿ˜‰ lovely story x


    • You just made me laugh…your hairy admittance…what we’re attracted to or whom rather, can be scary. My men all look like cereal killers. Tall, skinny, sinister…the very handsome eludes me where the scraggly, underfed, prizefighter type sends me a-swoonin…we women are such mysterious creatures ๐Ÿ™‚


  2. wobsy says:

    This is the dawning……………..
    We have to shave too, just different bits. Imagine scraping a blade over your face every morning. If you cut yourself, at least you can wear woolly tights to cover it.
    p.s. I like your new artwork.


  3. Oh, I can’t do Sasquatch … I just can’t.


  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    A male friend, back in the mid-seventies, was nicknamed Bear for good reason. He was one of the gentlest souls I ever met. I’m sure that when the first Star Wars movie came out, all the hairy guys hated getting called Chewbaca or Chewie.
    Of course, skinnies were so happy to get called Twiggy in the 60s either.


  5. skinnyuz2b says:

    Oops, that’s supposed to ‘weren’t’ so happy.


  6. skinnyuz2b says:

    OMG, now I left out the word ‘be’. I’m half watching Project Runway Allstars that I recorded last night, ha ha.


  7. katecrimmins says:

    A little hairy runs in my family. My Dad’s side was hairy and my Mother’s side wasn’t (she didn’t shave anything — no hair). My Dad’s sister didn’t shave her legs and when she wore nylons, she had all this matted black hair. Gross! Fortunately, I have more hair than my Mom but nothing like my Dad’s side.


    • Food for thought…my mother…the Italian…had straight black hair and wasn’t particularly hairy..my father, the Pole…who had wavy, reddish hair wasn’t either so I’m grateful for inheriting these hairless genes. I remember knowing a girl who had a 5 o’clock shadow…it was awful…she was constantly putting Nair on her face…scary…oh Kate…hair today, gone tomorrow.


  8. Michael says:

    As a member of the male species and somewhat of a fuzzball, I must admit that at some point trying to remove all that hair would be an exercise in futility. It can be tough to constantly wear a sweater, under a sweater. But we make due and find those women that think a little hair on a guy is sexy, Pierce Brosnan sexy. So let that hair flag fly. Long as I can grow it…


  9. D. D. Syrdal says:

    I knew a girl who married a guy (of Greek descent) who was so hairy she had to brush off the sheets every morning after he got up. Apparently he shed like crazy. Men may have to shave their faces daily (although many don’t) but we have a lot more real estate to cover!


  10. pmahaney says:

    The hairy beast in me had to laugh, but I confess I am becoming follicly challenged like most men.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.