My Graces

A friend of mine, instead of thank you likes to graces to you, a humbler way of showing gratitude.

When someone does something kind it should be considered a grace, not a given.

Sadly, many people suffer from what I call entitlement syndrome meaning, they think goodness is simply their due. I beg to differ.

They’re are many definitions of grace but the two I like best are…a divine given talent or blessing and courteous goodwill. 

When you say my graces after someone is nice you’re amplifying the blessing by bestowing a humble acknowledgment. When my friend honors me by saying it, my whole being brays with its own humility.

The flip side of course is arrogance, something I encounter often choosing to give to others on a regular basis. The trick is not to get mired in judgment which breeds resentment because then you’ll hesitate the next time the spirit moves you.

Giving is a grace…like in the Prayer for Peace…to give is how we receive. Nothing feels quite as good as doing something for another. You just can’t look back or even expect that thank you because alas, you might not get it.

I recently took pictures of a garden near my house and gave them to the man who, as a labor of love, tends to it. He told me he didn’t own a camera or even a smart phone, so I went and took 109 photos, editing them down to 61 and had them developed. Never heard one word from him. I started to get mad…how rude is he…why did I bother…but then caught myself. No one asked me to do it…it was a grace, and one I did for me since I got to give an unexpected gift. Takes a lot to dilute one’s offense but I managed and let it go. Still haven’t seen this person, but will be as pleasant as always when I do.

I wrote out quite a few thank you notes for birthday gifts finding myself writing on many of graces to you.

The thoughtfulness that came my way was more than I ever would have expected.

That courteous goodwill…the undeserved blessing that comes out of the blue.

I’m grateful to my friend for sharing his modesty with me. It’s made me a nicer person now that I’ve let go of expectations that are nothing more than premeditated resentments.

How’s that for cutting through the grease and grime.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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13 Responses to My Graces

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    You’re right, Susannah, when I do something kind or nice that wasn’t expected or necessary, I do wait for that ‘thank you’. And if it doesn’t come I can’t help but feel slighted or shortchanged somehow. Sometimes I test myself and my motives by doing things anonymously, and then biting my tongue when I want to shout, “It was me, I did it.”
    I love the phrase ‘My graces to you.’


    • It’s wonderful, isn’t it. It’s hard not to wait for acknowledgement but frees you when you can. So many people don’t say thank you. Sometimes they think they need to return the kindness when it’s the last thing on the giver’s mind, but that part is none of our business Skinny 🙂


  2. jimmie chew says:

    my graces to you.


  3. micklively says:

    I recall Christmasses and birthdays were always subject to thankyou note or telephone call drill. If you didn’t comply, you lost the present: plain and simple. By the time I was adult, please and thankyou were automatic. I cannot imagine receiving a gift or assistance of any kind without giving an appropriate response.


  4. D. D. Syrdal says:

    I knew a young woman many years ago (when I was also young) who found a wallet and turned it in, then was miffed that she wasn’t offered a reward or anything by the owner. I asked her why she turned the wallet in: to be thanked and rewarded, or because it was the right thing to do?

    You may see the gardener again, who knows what his own life has dealt him lately? He may not have had a chance to see you and thank you.


  5. Thank yous are difficult, to accept something and be gracious can be hard. You don’t want to just have the words roll off your tongue like nothing, but you don’t want to over do it either. Same with giving thanks, you want to be appreciative but not condescending. As always, so enjoyed your post. Thanks for the way you brighten my day. DAF


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