The Audrey Hepburn Of Wildlife

A friend of mine went to a pig roast recently. At first I thought she was joking…her way of saying there were be lots of food. Turns out, it was really a lavish picnic a best friend was having for her boyfriend, indeed featuring a pig on a spit.

Have you ever seen one? Wish I hadn’t. Makes you feel you should be a wearing a loincloth carrying a spear. The poor little guy is in his entirety turning repeatedly like a rotisserie chicken at the local A&P. We’re at least used to seeing those that are mercifully headless, but Babe all greased and buttered, is a whole other pictorial.

I’m actually surprised my pal went she’s such an animal lover, but it was her best friend’s gathering, so she braved it, for her.

Naturally it got me thinking of other things…how we slaughter so easily, hunt for sport.

Another friend of mine was in the country taking pictures and came across a group of deer. She said she had never seen anything more beautiful than this gaggle of girls.

“How do you know they were girls?” I asked, fascinated by her remark.

“They just had the prettiest legs and the longest necks… images-34 they are by far, the Audrey Hepburns of wildlife.”

How’s that for an observation?

The next day she went looking for them and sure enough there they were, all but one. Later on in the day, a neighbor of the person she was staying with was boasting how he had just bagged a fawn. “There they were, a slew of-em, waitin for me,” he said. “It was so easy, I coulda shot-em all.”

I was so rattled by this story. In my heart of hearts I cannot understand how anyone can shoot a deer, let alone a female, or any animal for that matter. I know they’re overpopulated and carry ticks, I get that part. It’s the concept of casually slaying such beauty just to up one’s testosterone count that leaves me morally mystified.

My friend, who’s no shrinking violet, had to leave the room till this bragging asshole took leave.

“I wanted to kick him in his balls,” she said, “or better yet, take that gun of his and shoot his stupid head off.” She then started to cry.

I don’t like guns for any purpose and wish the NRA would fall off the ends of the earth. I don’t care if Tom Selleck is the president.

Women and children, store owners and presidents, the elderly and unguarded creatures of the wild are forever at risk.

There is so little innocence left in the world one wonders why we’re so quick to destroy it.

images-5 Pretty soon there will be no Audreys left. images-35

Then what will we do?

Beauty is worth protecting and does more for the human spirit with its heart beating than mounted on a cold wall.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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41 Responses to The Audrey Hepburn Of Wildlife

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    I think deer are beautiful, too. We have a doe and her twins that cross our backyard to eat our apples. We have eight or nine trees that are put there just for the deer. Also, I think it’s illegal to shoot a doe or a fawn.
    If you read my post ‘Temporary Home’, you know what my great-aunt thought about her squirrel murderer. I love the old photo of her with the rifle. My grandfather (dob 1875) had a pet crow and a fox. I inherited his love for crows.
    And I love your comparison of deer and Audrey.


    • I will read that post Skinny, thank you. If it was illegal than this man ignored the law flagrantly boasting the way he did. When I was little, 5 or so, I came home one day to find 3 freshly killed rabbits on our porch. I thought they were sleeping. My father, as gentle as he was, hunted. So he and his friend Ernie had just come home with their prized prey left on the porch like furry trophies. I wept for days and as you can see, never forgot it. I can still see them lying on their sides spooning each other (:


  2. micklively says:

    I have never understood the hunting and fishing mentality, even though I am a carnivore. A deer ran across our path last week on our lunchtime bimble. A truely joyous sight, indeed. I thought of Darcy Bussell rather than Audrey though.


  3. Of course it is difficult to see meat in its unprocessed form, especially very intelligent animals like pigs or graceful, innocent young like that fawn.

    But isn’t eating pork or veal from the butcher’s or the supermarket the same thing? In both cases, animals get killed cruelly.

    It is hard for everyone to accept that meat comes with its share of death, but I think it would be worse to try to forget that association. Instead, I think that we should be thankful to the animals that died to feed us, raise and kill them in the most humane way possible, and limit our consumption.

    Yours, Comtesse Sofia
    (I wrote an article about Audrey Hepburn, if you’re interested:


  4. edwardcres says:

    I’m with you on the deer, take away the buckshot and shoot ’em with tick spray if you must hunt. Pigs, however, are nasty, smelly and delicious.


  5. katecrimmins says:

    I was invited to a pig roast two years ago. I stayed away from the pig area and didn’t eat any although people said it was delicious. The worst for me was when the grandson of the host (age 10ish) boasted about eating the eyeball. Thought I was gonna barf right there on the picnic table.


  6. beautiful post, have to admit though I don’t love deer as much as I used to. Hubby and I had a big doe jumped in front of us and we could not stop, we spun around and around. All I could see out the windows was a close up of deer fur/hide. We were in high school at the time and for weeks I would wake up with a start thinking a deer was in my bedroom. I have a healthy respect for them, but I don’t care for them. On the other hand, I do love bacon!


    • Sorry that happened to you. I’m sure he was as scared as you when it happened. I gather he didn’t make it, but you did so let’s be grateful for that.


      • yes, it was an adventure, and I felt bad she didn’t make it, but it was spring and the deer move about a lot in the spring, especially in NW PA. My hubby’s little car didn’t fare too well either, but we were only bruised a bit.
        We are very cautious now in driving, and I make certain we don’t hit another Bambi’s mom. That is just sad to think about.


      • I know. God made them with no sense of direction or breaks. Wouldn’t it be great if they looked both ways before they crossed…stopped when they saw a car coming?

        Your experience I know must have been scary.


  7. D. D. Syrdal says:

    I can’t eat pork anymore, since I found out how intelligent pigs are. Plus I was never that crazy about pork anyway. I totally get why our ancestors did it. Survival was survival. And as Agent Scully once pointed out to Agent Mulder, “You better respect Nature, because Nature has no respect for you.” Reading “Pilgrim at Tinker Creek” by Annie Dillard really put things in perspective.

    I don’t advocate or approve of hunting for sport, but animals taken for food that are killed quickly and cleanly suffer far less than animals being farmed by the food industry. I was shocked that my vegetarian sister pointed this out to me. The meat industry is so horrific…well, I’m sure you know what goes on.

    I thought shooting does was illegal, but was told otherwise. I never heard of anyone shooting a fawn but I did some searching though and it’s legal as well at a certain age. It seems to come down to whether it’s hunting season or not, and local laws. Still, a clean quick kill seems kinder than what most cattle, chickens, sheep etc. suffer at the hands of the industry.


    • That’s certainly a point well taken, but I’m still bereft on Bambi’s behalf. I am very apprised at how animals are treated. One of the reasons I haven’t had steak, lamb or pork in over twenty years. I was eating chicken up to a little while ago but that too has taken flight.

      If I find out avocados are mistreated Dame, I’m going to be in trouble πŸ™‚


  8. Alva Chinn says:

    Shared this on FB!!! Had to just too much horrific callousness!


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