If you smelled, wouldn’t you know? I can detect underarm sweat that needs to be swabbed with one good sniff. It makes me want to teach a class in hygiene at The Learning Annex, for free.
I remember every Christmas my mother got my father soap on a rope. I forget the kind, probably Old Spice since that’s what he wore, but it was always hanging in the shower to remind us to scrub those pits.
I realize, like anything else, cleanliness needs to be taught, but I ask you…WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL It should be right up there with Thou Shall Not Kill and Love Thy Neighbor, just in column B.
I’m on the train, and this straphanger standing in front of me smells like gym socks. I had to concentrate not to gag. He was wearing a nice shirt too. What, did he like it so much he never took it off?
I hop in a taxi because I’m late and the backseat smells like a gym locker. I jump out at the light gasping for air.
The guy across the hall makes me hold my breath whenever I see him. He tries making conversation but causes me to hurry before I pass out. Is he playing football in his apartment with the windows shut? Why the BO first thing in the morning? No wonder I never see him with a girl. Plus he smokes. If one has the desire to remember OTB (Off Track Betting), all you’d have to do is spend five minutes in his presence with your eyes closed.
My pal Joanne was madly in love with an obstetrician with an odor issue. You had to ask yourself, what about his practice and all those women going into premature labor. I think it was to speed things up so they’d move on to Pediatrics sooner than later. For Joanne, it became a real problem.
She’d leave deodorant all over his house hoping he’d get the hint. Short of wearing a crucifix to ward it off, she finally gave up and started dating a high-end butcher.
You would think he’d be the one who needed the Mennen Speed Stick, but Joanne said, he smelled like the sea. Must have been the salt on all that beef.
Our body is our temple, as they say, so I implore everyone to please keep it clean and tidy. Carry Glade in your shirt pocket if necessary.
It makes you wonder if BO is contributing to global warming.
If I were a bee or bird, I’d sure interrupt my routine for a farm fresh scent.