I’m generous by nature. I get it from my grandfather who would have given away his vital organs if he could have somehow done without them. I could just see one of his kidneys wrapped in last year’s Christmas paper with a note that said…I have two of these…perhaps you could use one.
I’ve always been a giver, but lately have been encountering a certain amount of stinginess in my midst, even from good friends.
The big question…when someone is cheap with you do you respond in kind or remain the example expressing bighearted benevolence?
The first thing I needed to tell myself was someone else’s penny-pinching has nothing to do with my value as a human being. Just because they don’t have the desire to share doesn’t reduce one’s worth.
That was a huge illumination for me taking the sting out of feeling forgotten.
A friend used to take me to lunch once in a while, something I really looked forward to. It’s nice being treated, makes a girl feel good…makes anyone feel good for that matter. I’d dress up, always bring her a little something, and have the best time talking and laughing with a good pal.
I never felt bad over my friend paying until the day came when after thanking her probably for the third time, she said we wouldn’t be going for a while…her American Express bill was just too high. It was as if I’d been slapped, like it was all my fault. Wow, should have skipped that appetizer I guess and that second glass of wine. And no, it wasn’t Camille who would give you the Chanel off her back if you needed it.
Since then all kinds of negative events have occurred between us but it started with some type of discomfort on this person’s part over spending money on another.
Had to really talk myself off the roof on this one because once again, my value came into question. Jane, I’ll call her, has been so blessed with financial privilege, I knew it was something much more deeply rooted than a high credit card bill. Again, it had little to do with me. I was just hit with some emotional shrapnel that, even though is not the same as taking a bullet, still hurts like hell.
I like to give. Money is an exchange, not something to hold onto so tightly that it leaves a green stain on your palm.
The more you give away the more money seems to come back is what I’ve found…cause and effect at its best.
I guess I’ve just answered my own question.
Give and don’t look back…do not keep score or a chit list with initials in big fat letters. One’s heart works better when it’s not bogged down with fear of lack.
Life’s short after all, and when it’s all over I think I’d like to be remembered for my generosity toward others.
That’s what I would call a proud, lasting legacy.