Have I mentioned breaking my little toe? Yes, it happened a week or so ago when I kicked my Lucite table without any shoes on. I was angry after tripping over it first so the kick, let’s say, sealed the deal.
I trudged to good old Dr. Plotka, my trusty podiatrist, for an X-ray and indeed, my toe was broken which might have explained why it was three feet away from the other toes…
mutiny of the extremities.
After wrapping it in swaddling bandages he said, like cracked ribs, there’s really nothing else one can do. “Wear wide shoes Susannah, and stop kicking things that weigh more than you do.” Well that certainly narrows it down.
Wide shoes huh, tell that to Jimmie and Manolo…I have my running sneakers that are, oh so trailer park, when they’re worn with anything but shorts, and my black high Hunter boots that are very gestapoesque, especially worn with tights and a blazer. My loafers feel like Italian torture chambers while my pumps deserve a fine.
OUCH, slipping into them, took on all new meaning.
So boots it is.
Yesterday morning when I began my day with my usual aplomb and purpose, I stopped by to see Carmela the basset hound who was sunbathing on the lanai. She looked up at me as if to say, “You’re wearing that again,” before going back to sleep. Hmm…was that my imagination or am I indeed becoming a sartorial bore? Let’s see what she wears when she breaks a claw.
Then I popped into the shoemaker to see if my favorite Prada clutch was ready having it been Philophyed well over a week now, waiting for Phil to fix it. Vanya, his wife the gatekeeper said, “Suz-onna, vy you vere booots?’
“Because my toe is broken.”
“Yah…okey, but vy you vere booots?”
“Because my toe is broken and the tops are nice and roomy, so it doesn’t hurt so much, that’s why.”
Then Phil came out, alas, without my bag.
“No ready…come back afternoon…I have.”
“Okay,” I said, turning to leave.”
“Vy you vere booots?”
As I was heading out the door, a young, pretty girl was coming in and said with great admiration, “Hey, nice boots.”
My toe and I, along with my assaulted Hunters, felt much better after that.