Toe In Cheek

Have I mentioned breaking my little toe? Yes, it happened a week or so ago when I kicked my Lucite table without any shoes on. I was angry after tripping over it first so the kick, let’s say, sealed the deal.

I trudged to good old Dr. Plotka, my trusty podiatrist, for an X-ray and indeed, my toe was broken which might have explained why it was three feet away from the other toes…

mutiny of the extremities.

After wrapping it in swaddling bandages he said, like cracked ribs, there’s really nothing else one can do. “Wear wide shoes Susannah, and stop kicking things that weigh more than you do.” Well that certainly narrows it down.

Wide shoes huh, tell that to Jimmie and Manolo…I have my running sneakers that are, oh so trailer park, when they’re worn with anything but shorts, and my black high Hunter boots that are very gestapoesque, especially worn with tights and a blazer. My loafers feel like Italian torture chambers while my pumps deserve a fine.

OUCH, slipping into them, took on all new meaning.

So boots it is.

Yesterday morning when I began my day with my usual aplomb and purpose, I stopped by to see Carmela the basset hound who was sunbathing on the lanai. She looked up at me as if to say, “You’re wearing that again,” before going back to sleep. Hmm…was that my imagination or am I indeed becoming a sartorial bore? Let’s see what she wears when she breaks a claw.

Then I popped into the shoemaker to see if my favorite Prada clutch was ready having it been Philophyed well over a week now, waiting for Phil to fix it. Vanya, his wife the gatekeeper said, “Suz-onna, vy you vere booots?’

“Because my toe is broken.”

“Yah…okey, but vy you vere booots?”

“Because my toe is broken and the tops are nice and roomy, so it doesn’t hurt so much, that’s why.”

Then Phil came out, alas, without my bag.

“No ready…come back afternoon…I have.”

“Okay,” I said, turning to leave.”


“Yes Phil?”

“Vy you vere booots?”

As I was heading out the door, a young, pretty girl was coming in and said with great admiration, “Hey, nice boots.”

My toe and I, along with my assaulted Hunters, felt much better after that.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Beauty, Fashion, humor, New York City, Women and men and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Toe In Cheek

  1. katecrimmins says:

    You are starting a new fashion style! At least it isn’t mid-summer and stinking hot.


  2. Ouch, there is no wee wee wee all the way home for that piggy! Why must we go back for the second kick…why? It must be an Italian thing…lol! Hope you are back in your real shoes soon.


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Yes Suannah, it is a well known fact that one approval from someone younger cancels out three eyebrow raises from contemporarys or above.


  4. micklively says:

    Folk like us must take care or our toes: they’re such a long way from the rest of us.


  5. great post, sorry I jumped in with Life! Hope your foot feels better soon, at least you aren’t wearing rain boots around!


  6. MJ says:

    Owwww… sorry you broke your toe. I just hope the kicking part felt good—that sweep before contact can feel so empowering! And you weren’t uncivil, since your target was an inanimate object. I once kicked a van whilst wearing sandals, & would have kicked the driver, too. I was driving past Port Authority, & had stopped at a yellow light with the aforesaid van behind me. Oblivious to the Do Not Block the Box sign and the cop already giving out tickets to violators, the driver started ramming it into the back of my car, yelling in some exotic language. The second time he rammed my car I lost it, & jumped out screaming YOU STOP THAT, and after whacking the van door with my bag, I kicked the grille. I was on a roll, even said the F-word, & the guy looked flabbergasted. After the adrenalin rush wore off, did my toes throb! Duh.


    • I would have bought a ticket to that MJ. New Yorkers are very unpredictable as we both know…I think you were probably great screaming and kicking causing that guy to take pause the next time he thought to ram some pretty girl’s car πŸ™‚


  7. D. D. Syrdal says:

    I broke two toes once, jumping feet-first into a pool and hit bottom. I was in the Navy at the time, and had to wear a sandal on one foot to work in uniform.

    And everybody around here wears boots, all summer long. I don’t get it, it’s too warm for me to wear boots right now. Hope your toe heals up quickly!


    • I’m sorry you broke your toes, and two at that. It’s painful…mine is a little better but I’m still wearing boots. I also found a HUGE pair of Bass Weguns that make me sound like Elsie the cow coming round the corner. Smashed body parts are not very chic.


  8. Alva Chinn says:

    Thanks for the smile!


  9. manty67 says:

    Omg, I did have to check your heading twice, and then as I read on, I started to nod in agreement and even chuckle, I feel your pain, as if you were standing right next to me, how and why???? I too kicked and broke my toe last week, however, I missed my table and carried on to kick the wooden leg of our sofa 😦 flip flops are my chosen shoe, but even then you can still feel the pain vibrate up the leg. I hope your toe is feeling much better very soon πŸ™‚ x


    • OH NO!!!! I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU..Not just because how I know how much your toe hurts, but you’re destined to wear flip flops for a while. Mine is better, but I’m still swimming in big shoes. Can really ruin an outfit boy. You look a little addled in your rain boots when the sun is shining.

      We need to stop kicking things there girlie-girl…nice hearing from you as always.


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