Lies

images-2 What’s the true, proper response when someone asks for your opinion?

“Do I look fat in this dress?”

“How bout the rice I made, too much salt?”

“You know, I haven’t heard from him. Do you think he’s gonna call?”

One way to go of course would be to say the quick and obvious.

“No, you look great in that dress.”

“Too much salt? It’s the best rice I’ve ever had.”

“Of course he’ll call. Be patient.”

Yes, these answers are more than likely false and misleading, but they do get you out of that corner you have just been placed into against your will. Would it be wiser to just tell the truth?

Let’s see.

“Do you look fat in that dress? Not really, as long as you don’t mind your ass being the size of a billboard. Then I think it’s absolutely fine to roll it on like a pleated sausage skin.”

“Does your rice have too much salt? Well, my ankles are on their way to the Mayo Clinic for drainage, and do you mind getting the door? It’s 911, I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.”

“Why in the world would you think he wouldn’t call? I mean it’s only been since last May, and he did leave you in the pouring rain after sticking you with the bar bill. I’d say, give it a little more time. Like right when you’re just about to blow your head off.”

I suppose if you opt for truth as opposed to invention you might find yourself a tad friendless. But I ask you, do we really want to be around the deluded and clueless…those whom, when they look out the same window see something so very different from what we see?

YES…

Because without them…there would be no entertainment or proof that you just might be a little saner than you think.

Can’t speak for you, but that will make my day just one lie brighter.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in friendship, humor, New York City, Uncategorized, women, Women and men, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Lies

  1. I’d say that everyone has a friend who speaks like your second example, although as you said, they tend not to have friends for long.

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    • This is true…unless of course you have a pal like Camille who cuts through the grease so beautifully that she’s turned it into an art form…one you find yourself preferring. I like the truth providing it’s delivered in pretty packaging. She does that with the minor exception that her bow has an edge.

      I tend to ignore the opinions of those I don’t care too much about the same way I don’t express mine because, what’s the point. If one more person tells me I look too thin you’ll be reading about me in the papers David. There’s also a time to hold one’s rampant tongue. Always a pleasure to converse with you.

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  2. I am married to number 2 and also gave birth to number 2. Let’s just say my ass isn’t going any where looking “big.” When the hubby responds with a stutter the answer is yes. When the son, who has yet to learn about mouth filters says “omg mom that is the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen” he is usually correct.
    I had to laugh out loud at the ankles heading to the Mayo Clinic…hilarious!

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  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Yes, Susannah, it’s all in how you say it. I’ve come up with a pretty good response to a new haircut that I don’t really care for. “Oh, you’re one of the lucky ones who can wear lots of hair styles. This is nice, but I really love the short,long, curly, etc. style on you best.’ This is still a lie with the truth stuck in it.

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  4. katecrimmins says:

    I lived in New Jersey for a while and people tend to be more blunt there. I learned to love it. No hidden agendas. Although no one would say your ass was huge, they would tell you if it wasn’t complimentary to your figure a la Camille. I have a good friend that I can say, “tell me the truth” and she will. BTW your second answers were hysterical. They are the kind of responses I would love to give. Maybe I will on my death bed! Loved the big ass one. Where I live there are a lot of overweight women (they would badger you constantly about your weight) who wear clothes at least 2 sizes too small. I want to tell them their ass is way too big for that.

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  5. micklively says:

    The correct response is “Do you want an honest answer?” You shouldn’t feel guilty because you have to field dumb questions. Put the wrangle back where it belongs.

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    • What happened to you today/ Wrong side of the bed Mr. Lively???

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      • micklively says:

        No, I’m as content as ever. I just get fed up with folk asking questions that they don’t really want an answer to. The real truth is that they already know the answer and they’re daring you to say it.

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      • Good morning Mick..just woke up…do you really think that’s true? See I would never ask a question like that. my skepticism is such, it wouldn’t matter anyway..if someone tells me I look great but I don’t think so..well..they could present me with the Good Housekeeping Approval award and it wouldn’t matter…same goes for the flip side of that…if I felt I looked like a hellcat in leopard tights and a brassiere that lit up, there would be nothing you could say that would keep me from plugging myself in…all points well taken on an early Thursday morning. Always nice to hear from you πŸ™‚

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      • micklively says:

        Well, OK, so you’re different (if a little perverse). Others want to be dishonest with themselves and solicit your help. Whose best interest lies in giving creedence to such activity?

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  6. Elle Knowles says:

    As Bambi’s mother said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all!” We can always think….. πŸ˜‰

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  7. wduvall1973 says:

    Great topic.
    Truth. An absolute? No, not really. We all have to consider when, where, how and WHY to speak the truth. Watch our intention. Of course to bluntly speak the truth without regard to others is not right( consider the dress or ‘do I look fat’), and more importantly generally does alienate people to your good opinion. But, sometimes it is a necessary evil. Unfortunately, there are no steadfast rules for each and every situation in life, but a great balancing act.

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