“Do I look fat in this dress?”
“How bout the rice I made, too much salt?”
“You know, I haven’t heard from him. Do you think he’s gonna call?”
One way to go of course would be to say the quick and obvious.
“No, you look great in that dress.”
“Too much salt? It’s the best rice I’ve ever had.”
“Of course he’ll call. Be patient.”
Yes, these answers are more than likely false and misleading, but they do get you out of that corner you have just been placed into against your will. Would it be wiser to just tell the truth?
“Do you look fat in that dress? Not really, as long as you don’t mind your ass being the size of a billboard. Then I think it’s absolutely fine to roll it on like a pleated sausage skin.”
“Does your rice have too much salt? Well, my ankles are on their way to the Mayo Clinic for drainage, and do you mind getting the door? It’s 911, I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK.”
“Why in the world would you think he wouldn’t call? I mean it’s only been since last May, and he did leave you in the pouring rain after sticking you with the bar bill. I’d say, give it a little more time. Like right when you’re just about to blow your head off.”
I suppose if you opt for truth as opposed to invention you might find yourself a tad friendless. But I ask you, do we really want to be around the deluded and clueless…those whom, when they look out the same window see something so very different from what we see?
Because without them…there would be no entertainment or proof that you just might be a little saner than you think.
Can’t speak for you, but that will make my day just one lie brighter.