Joan Of Bark

I’m always on the lookout for animals in distress and not necessarily by choice. It’s as if I have a telescope that precedes me wherever I go.

Walking away in regards to the four-legged, is not all that easy.

This is how I met Colonel, the Doberman Pincher.

I was tooling up Columbus Avenue in search of a cookie when I hear a whimper and a snarl. Seems the Colonel just had words with a black Lab named Itchy. Not sure of the particulars, but Itchy wasn’t too thrilled when the Colonel felt compelled to push him off the sidewalk.

Moaning and groaning, though no harm done, Itchy made such a big deal that his owner burst out in tears. A young girl in her 20s wearing skiwear with no slopes in sight, started screaming at Colonel’s owner, that his dog tried to eat hers.

Where have I heard dog eat dog before? Chinatown, the Staten Island Ferry…my mother’s dinner table where she was known to eat her young?

As a bystander, I felt this was a bit of an exaggeration, but kept it to myself. That of course didn’t keep me from watching what would happen next.

Colonel’s dad, a nice looking man in his sixties in overalls and a hoodie, apologized to her and even bent down to pet Itchy, who in my estimation since busy licking his balls (or where they once were), was already past it.

When they left...whew…he decided to address what happened.

“Colonel, you can’t keep doing that,” he said, quietly but firmly raising his hand so this poor guy would roll on his side in doggie remorse. Uh-oh, my light flipped on…he better not strike him if he knows what’s good for him.

When it comes to aggressive doggie training, all bets are off at Camp Susannah.

So I dug in my Manolos to see.

But instead of a smack or snout pull, he rubbed Colonel’s neck with great patience and affection. The dog stayed in this subservient position not moving a muscle making me see we’ve been here before.

It was only then this guy noticed me watching, waiting to be convinced all was well, before I could comfortably take leave.

When our eyes met I said, “You know sir, don’t be too mad at him. He can’t help it. He’s a Doberman. To conquer and quell is in his blood. And let’s face it, Itchy’s a wimp…who can blame him for givin-em a little shove.”

The man’s face broke out into a grateful grin…like when the sun suddenly appears on a gloomy day.

He said, “I love this dog so much. I’m just so afraid something will happen and then what will we do?”

I pondered this for a minute then said, “I guess it’s a little like being Italian…or a prize fighter with fast fists…you just need to accept who you are conducting yourself responsibly.”

“I get the fighter part, but not sure of the Italian reference,” he said, as the Colonel finally sat up.

“If you knew how many times I want to hit someone with a big pasta pot but manage to hold’s my idea of running some idiot off the sidewalk…Right Colonel?”

“Woof,” Colonel said, without missing a beat.

“My advice puppy,” I said, scratching his noble head, “the next time you see Itchy or one of his cousins, do yourself a favor, cross the street…unless of course you meet someone you really like.”Β Β  images-1


“Yeah, I knew you’d like that.”


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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16 Responses to Joan Of Bark

  1. how long this week has been! I have missed your writing. I have thought of you daily and have glanced in the direction of my blog, just haven’t had time to sit and read. This is great! I am so glad the Colonel’s human is undersatnding and loving. I worked for a vet once and there were two doberman’s who adopted me and loved coming in to see me… they are a special breed. Thanks for this! DAF


    • I know they’re special…they wouldn’t be my first breed to own or parent, yet there is something so noble and true about them. He has the most beautiful face…eyes that would break your heart. I think he was truly sorry for the unexpected skirmish. His dad had such love for him. It pinched my heart to no end. I hope there are no more moments like the one I saw, although that may be wishful thinking on Thingirl’s part…will look for your next piece DAF…know it’s coming…can hear it rustling out yonder πŸ™‚


  2. katecrimmins says:

    I had a friend with a Rottweiler. It was the biggest baby ever! Breeds get reputations that are far more scary than they are. You do attract the critters!


  3. micklively says:

    No bad dogs, only bad owners. Well done you.


  4. Alva Chinn says:

    Doggy Drama, I know that all too well. My sweetheart is a pit/lab mix. And an alpha female- gentle as can be, but she has her boundaries and won’t take any s..t! Wonder where she gets that from…hahaha.


    • Just sent you an answer that seems to be flying around cyber space. WordPress is getting weirder on a daily basis. Just said how I’d love having a dog but am never here…I’d be always worried engaging walkers and baby sitters…Cancerian doggie owner traits to be sure. Hope you and Cookie are gearing up for the cold. Have to say, don’t like it much myself. Also, visited you on Facebook…such pretty pictures Alva, and I saw the nicest ad with you…a pharmaceutical whose name escapes me…you were in three quarter profile lookin oh so purdy πŸ™‚


  5. I know a Doberman named Heidi. She is massive and intimidating, yet the most gentle soul around these parts. Colonel would love her…she’s a beauty.
    Considering the amount of Itchys I encounter, I completely understand Colonel’s fact I’m a little jealous.


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