Entitlement Syndrome

I’m always amazed at who’s the best mannered because it’s never who you think it will be.

It’s not the well-dressed business man seated on the train buried in his New York Times who gallantly gives his seat to the pregnant woman whose stomach is creasing his financial page. It’s the little Hispanic busboy who worked all night that, rather than Wall Street, has thirty more stops to Bed Sty.

It just enrages me…the sense of entitlement prevailing.

Let’s look at the word, shall we?

Entitlement…noun
the fact of having a right to something : full entitlement to fees and maintenance should be offered | you should be fully aware of your legal entitlements.
β€’ the amount to which a person has a right : annual leave entitlement.

Oh please…

I’m adding, when you think your needs are a lot more superior than everyone else’s because you were blessed with more means and privilege than the dismissive peons in your pithy, putdown presence: arrogance, attitude…hubris…full of oneself…you smell.

Too much?

Politeness is like fresh air. When a door is held for me or someone responds courteously when I hold it for them, graciousness reigns…makes the day a welcomed hair brighter.

On the Upper East Side of New York entitlement syndrome has become epidemic. Just this morning I had an exchange with a woman in a suit with me in running gear which immediately, in her delusional, Raybaned eyes, makes me the lesser.

She was standing in front of my door when I was attempting to enter. I politely smiled and said, “Excuse me, can I get by please?” But she didn’t budge an inch so engrossed on her cell that was oh, so gross. She was talking about a play date for her kid. “Shall I have Penelope’s nanny bring her over say around 2? I thought they could play games on their iPads. That would keep them busy. Dolls? Oh no dahling, she outgrew them at two…at three she’s playing chess… in Japanese.”

Alright, so I’m exaggerating, but not by much.

I let out the sigh that could be heard around the world which I guess, because of the acute wind it created, finally made her take notice. “Oh, am I in your way?”

I managed not to say anything snappy or smug, till I came out a half hour later and she was still there. I mean, doesn’t Muffy have a home or office to go to?

Again, excuse me, but this time I had to knock on the outside door because if I hadn’t I would have slammed her.

Well guess what happened…that’s exactly what I did. There was such joy in watching her almost fall over, her overpriced latte dripping on her red tulle skirt. “Oh dear, did you get some on your shoes? What a shame.”

The best part…one of the young Hispanic cafe workers bringing in supplies watched the whole thing and had himself a good, hearty laugh.

All in a day.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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25 Responses to Entitlement Syndrome

  1. Oh, I see your baguette has made yet another worthy appearance…applause. This has got to be one of my biggest peeves. I despise entitlement and being made to feel like less…I do enough of that to myself, so having some ass take a jab at me really makes me crazy.

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    • You said it Top. My baguette was in the shop but it’s all oiled and ready for action. I can’t even imagine what it must be like being so self-absorbed. That elite myopia where one really behaves as if there’s a distinct class system. Bill Hicks had a great line..one of many…he’d say…”Hey sweetheart, when you decide to land, let me know?”

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  2. katecrimmins says:

    Oh dear! I have a good friend (sort of) who is kind of like that. I like her for other reasons but sometimes get fed up with the superiority thing. Her kids went to really great expensive private colleges (fully paid) and she sticks her nose in the air at those who go to state schools. The blessing is that she keeps me very grounded. I am very conscious of the fact that people are more than what they look like or their current job. We have security guys who retired from really important first jobs. They work because they like the socialization yet people often look down on them because they are not executives! In the end they are smarter and more skilled than the folks who think they are superior (and they don’t do chess in Japanese!)

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    • I love what you wrote. I see that every day…how if I’m dressed in a suit or dress I’m listened to more intently. That day with the woman in front of my building..I had just come back from running when I look like one of the boat people…so her interest in me and my need to get inside my home was nowhere to be seen. Now if I wore a dueling tulle skirt we would have had a much different result.

      The selfish elite bore me Kate…to tears…like what Alfred Hitchcock called movie extras…they’re just furniture that eats.

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      • katecrimmins says:

        Reminds me of the time we had an outside instructor give sessions on management skills. She was very professional and knowledgeable. One of the students ran into her at a dog obedience class with her unruly puppy and was stunned to see a “normal person.” I asked her what she expected as many of us do regular mundane things in our “other” life. She said she just didn’t seem as professional. So what is professional anyway? I thought taking an unruly puppy to puppy school was the height of professionalism!

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      • We put so much emphasis on packaging…for everything. I’m guilty too…whether it’s the front of a book, moisturizer, or some hot guy in a nice blazer, it’s all about the view.

        Food for thought.

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  3. Lisa says:

    I was thinking before you got to the last part, If it were me I would have said excuse me and then hit her with the door and then say well you were warned and go about my way. I’m generally a polite person but when you can’t simply get out of the way then I get annoyed and you will feel my wrath by way of an door or some other object making contact with your body.

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    • I have such a short fuse Lisa that I have to constantly keep my temper in check. And yes, I wanted so much to have it out with her from the onset since you could have cut her arrogance with a cleaver. But I also realize tact and diplomacy are lessons of mine since I don’t execute either very easily. I like what Kate said about people like this keep us in check. I am so filled with gratitude these days. Materially, that woman clearly has so much more than I have, yet I truly can safely guarantee she doesn’t possess the appreciation that I do.

      My cup runneth over the sides.

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  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Why would anyone stand in front of a door and block it anyway? On the way back out, I would have knocked her with the door and pretended I hadn’t seen her standing there. Oops, so sorry. Enough is enough. Call the cops and report her for loitering, ha ha!

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  5. I lived too long among a circle of acquantainces that believed if you weren’t dressed in the current fashion with your hair done and make up perfect you didn’t exist. I tried for years to fit in and finally flipped them all off and became me. No make up (unless the occasion truly calls for it), unstyled hair (it’s clean and orderly) and jeans and tee shirt or sweatshirt. That’s me…. casual, although I have heard ‘frumpy’ escape from some lips. You are right though, sometimes you are overlooked if you are not dressed ‘right’. I think I took Jenny Joseph’s poem, ‘Warning’ to heart a long time ago…

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    • I’m going to Google that poem πŸ™‚

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      • let me know what you think…

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      • <3… BTW… I don't own a red hat or anything purple… yet… πŸ˜‰

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      • I’d say maybe it was time to go shopping πŸ™‚

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      • Don’t you just love to shop DAF? I do. I’ve been trying to behave but I do like that department store perusal where you dance the aisles looking for that square deal…this is where resale comes in handy. You can acquire a gem for a fraction of the price if you bring along a good eye. I know resale isn’t for everyone, a turn-off of sorts, but if you just take whatever it is and clean it, there shouldn’t be an issue. If you go to a high end store it’s already been done. Do have my eye on a pair of black, weggie pumps at J Crew. When I think they once rivaled Gap and now are the premier store along the Avenue, it’s quite a shock. It’s the new hot store with over the top prices. These little evening pumps are a soft, inky suede that make your legs look long, and lanky. But again, they are not cheap…but Christmas is coming, now isn’t it…:)

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      • They sound like they belong to you! I love living in Charleston, but I miss Nordstroms… we have to drive over an hour to the closest one… But… there are wonderful little boutiques all over this city! That I do love, the independent little shops that have different things in them.

        I haven’t had a good shopping spree in a very long time. But, our oldest is coming for Thanksgiving and we are planning a day of going shopping!

        I do love to shop and I have missed not being able to do so regularly..

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      • Your daughter’s coming as in Little Man’s mom? I’d definitely suit up.

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      • No, this is my oldest who lives in CA. She is single, strong willed and a challenge. But… I love her dearly and realize that she is trying to find her way in the world. It will be a fun visit, and most likely interesting. She is always interesting… We haven’t shared a holiday together in several years.. this year I sort of demanded that I get one of the big holidays with her. Don’t ever pull the Mom card, but this year I did… So, I am excited and bit nervous about the time together.

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      • How nice you have such a wonderful family πŸ™‚

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  6. we do have a wonderful family… we have our differences but we have each other’s backs all the time.

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