Oprah Overload

images-4 I just picked up the Christmas issue of O Magazine. Just in case there is someone living under a rock…

O stands for Oprah.

Now don’t get me wrong, I like Oprah Winfrey. Ever since her Sofia, in 1982, blasted through the film, The Color Purple I’ve liked her. She’s a force, a meteor that keeps circling the earth…over and over and over again. She does great things…gives away lots of money, promotes writers, singers and motivational speakers.

She’s tight with Deepak.

She can make or break someone with one interview.

Oprah can take a book and in one afternoon turn it into a bestseller with merely a nod.

But I have to say, there might be just a little too much O, in O.

I love nothing more than to to lie in bed, chocolates to my left, Chianti to my right while devouring a good, juicy periodical. Girls will be girls after all, and what’s better than a good, mindless magazine?

Who said a man?

It doesn’t bother me that Oprah’s on the cover since I’m so used to seeing her wink and coo from the rack at my drugstore. Her covers are always cheerful, covered with bylines like, Show Your Closet Who’s Boss and Tell Him You Love Him 75 Different Ways, With Arugula.

Oprah will show you how.

I capitulated buying Hershey Kisses and the bright red issue with her in a Gone With The Wind Dress looking like three Scarletts, dashing home to don my PJs to eat up all she had to say.

As I got comfy nestled beneath my quilt, I couldn’t help noticing how many Oprahs appeared on the page…25, give or take, and let me say, for me, was one too many Oprahs.

I asked myself, what’s that about? Why the need of multiple Os? It’s not as if we could ever forget her. I’m actually waiting for Oprah to be added to Mount Rushmore next to Teddy and George. I just don’t quite understand why she needs to be on every other page of her magazine.

I’d like to see more of anybody else.

ANYBODY!

If I sound critical, good. Ego is something I particularly take umbrage with. Hers is the size of a regulation basketball.

Oh come on, could there be any other explanation?

Oprah, I want you to listen to me….are you listening?

We love you, we do. Like I said earlier, you’re a force upon nature. But we don’t need to see you in the kitchen, the living room and behind the scenes getting sewn into your dress. Is this your way of saying Stedman needs to pay more attention to you? Is he brain dead after all this time? Because if he doesn’t get it by now, I think that ship has sailed.

If I were you I’d enjoy my life more by letting others entertain me for a change.

You’ve done enough, and that red ball gown…may I make a suggestion?

Take it the fuck…images-2

OFF!

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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16 Responses to Oprah Overload

  1. manty67 says:

    Wow, I knew she was big and had power, but she’s got her own mag! I can’t think of one of our guys that have their own mag. Lol she sounds like more of a force to recon with. Love piece as usual πŸ™‚

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    • It’s called O Magazine..and it’s really popular here..rivals More and Real Simple. It’s all her…she’s on every cover…she prances across the pages like a crazed party girl. It mystifies me. The amount of stroking she must need. Humility isn’t one of her strong suits, however, she does do a lot of good as long as she’s in the forefront. Thanks for reading the piece and I hope you and those you love have a happy peaceful Thanksgiving. I know England doesn’t really celebrate it…it’s our holiday…the colonies…but maybe you can be thankful anyway and have a turkey leg and a few yams:)

      Like

  2. A Freaking Men! I started noticing this when the show was still on the air and just got so turned-off I had to do the same to the show. Of course I couldn’t let my feelings be known at the time without risking some sort of persecution.

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    • I did this little ‘pay your Coned Bill’ job on Royal Pains where I sat through an auction and they made programs using old magazines so I got O..the day was like 300 hours long so I read the whole issue thinking…wow…this is pretty good, not yet noticing her gazelling from page to page with the greatest of ease. I bought it after that a couple of times and I guess the original issue was just a good one because it kinda really blows. You’d think someone would tell her she’s overexposed with an ego Top, that knows no bound. I mean she’s in everything…and if not her picture, her two cents…Oprah says…Oprah likes…Oh Oh Oh Oh…

      Watch, I’ll never sell a story to her…athingirl will be burned in effigy, by her of course πŸ™‚

      Like

  3. katecrimmins says:

    I must be the only person who ever read the mag. I didn’t watch her show because I had to work. The only one I ever saw was with Tom Cruise jumping on the sofa declaring his love for Katie. We see how that worked. I wonder if her publicist or PR person ever explained about overexposure.

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    • katecrimmins says:

      Sorry, I meant NEVER read the mag.

      Like

    • I think she should just leave her ego to Science so they can examine it up-close and personal. I, sadly, know many actors who suffer from the same me, me malady. And I think what it boils down to is, lack of awareness of how tacky and extreme it is. She clearly craves attention and she’s Oprah after all, so who is actually going to be stupid enough to tell her? She employs a gazillion people that probably flatter and deign like there’s no tomorrow. And let’s face it Kate…when you have that kind of money, you don’t live on the same planet. Like F. Scott Fitzgerald said…the rich are different.

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  4. wduvall1973 says:

    Susannah,
    Definitely funny post! Too much O!!!
    Well, there’s a flipside to O and her influence on weak hearts and minds( not ours, though!)
    Like her crassly promoting so called quack faith healer john of god and various new age gurus calling it ‘investigative documentary’.
    Someone ought to write a real expose on that. But money is power.

    Like

    • That’s for sure. She’s considered one of the most powerful, influential people of our time and it will only get worse. Her magazine runs like a lavish brochure. There is really no gravitas to it when it’s fully read and examined. It’s pretty though if you work your way around her ceaseless images. I’m not saying she’s not attractive…of course she is. has a beautiful smile…it’s just too much.

      Thanks for writing πŸ™‚

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  5. Talk about O’s ego and influence. Where to start? Did you hear about that ‘swiss handbag racist incident’ and the lies O spread to promote her new movie. And her promotion of woo..like john of god..too much!! I gathered some stuff in posts. But my writing really needs improvement. Yours is so clear, concise and completely lightheartedly humorous. Thanks

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    • My feeling is, the most important thing is that you love to write. My prose got better penning an essay every day. It’s like anything you do repeatedly. It can only improve, but meanwhile, you’re doing what you love…sigh.

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