Land Of No Socks

I have two good friends who have moved to Florida, or the Land of No Socks, as I prefer to call it, never understanding, till quite recently, why anyone would want to do that.

New York winter, that’s why.

I grew up in New England where you wore snow suits and sledded down steep hills on big round pizza pans. Our dog, Schultz, would hop on my lap in his little Shetland sweater my Auntie Ida knitted him and off we’d go. images-69

And it was freezing.

There I’d be with cheeks like cherries and frozen hair unable to feel my ass, numb straight through, from the icy aluminum.

We had snow days when school was closed where we’d stay in our pajamas and watch Shari Lewis and Captain Kangaroo (yes Schultz had pajamas…haven’t you ever heard of doggie Dr. Dentons?) I’d see the snow pile up beneath the windows knowing I’d be home tomorrow too.

It was how I grew up never dawning on me milder weather even remotely existed.

Now that I’m prancing through my fifties at the speed of light, I see why birds, Jews and Peter and Andrew all went south. And boy, do I dread what’s coming.

My friend Hank emailed saying he was spending Sunday putting on his snow tires. “We’re gonna have a very cold, snowy winter,” he said.

“We are?”

Do I need snow tires? How bout a little Antifreeze in my tank (not a bad idea)?

This declaration made me nervous. Should I be checking out cheap fares for February and March? Shall I begin dropping not so subtle hints hoping for an invitation?

When I was with The Flying Dutchman we went to Palm Beach every year. Think of heaven with sun, room service and golf as far as the eye can see. The minute one lands you know you’re not in Kansas anymore, the whole city glistening as if George Seurat just gave it a fresh coat of paint.  images-70

If I miss anything about that addled, sick relationship, it’s that week in March when we’d call a truce twirling our tennis rackets donning overpriced swimwear. If I concentrate, I can still hear the ice tinkling in our scotch sour glasses. I don’t even like scotch, yet in Florida, sipped it like Orange Crush.

We’d eat sushi till we grew gills and enough gelato to make us poster kids for the Diabetic Foundation. But what I remember most was the warmth. How the sun quietly accompanied you every place you went, like an old aunt or Red Cross worker.

I’d slip into my vintage Fiorucci shorts sewn in eleven different places proving I still had game (at least to a porter or elevator operator), bra top and flip flops to walk the beach like a drunken mermaid forgetting that next week at this time I’d be back in swaddling sweaters sweating it out till spring.

I now know why Andrew and Peter defected down south…why when I say, “Aren’t you ever coming back?” they suddenly get another call.

Perhaps one day I too will migrate to The mighty Promised Land of No Socks where I can shed all of my L.L Bean winter wear for good, never having to layer, bundle, wrap or swaddle ever again.

“Ahhh,” said the Thin girl, “we can only hope.”

or at age 19 at least…now this is what I call layering.get-attachment-27

Susannah photo: Hank Gans….other two: Google Images



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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14 Responses to Land Of No Socks

  1. Joe Owens says:

    Hey I can identify with your winter thoughts. Here in the mountains of Virginia we have some snow, but mainly just a lot of cold. I am so looking forward to the week I will spend in Belize with highs in 90s and lows in upper 70s and low 80s. Hopefully I will come back a shade or toe darker.


  2. Yes, but that land of no socks is also often the land of giant hurricanes when you are glad to have escaped with your flip flops! I miss the winter. I loved this post… I can remember those snow days, praying the night before when the snow started that we would wake up to that brilliant snow light coming into our bedroom windows. Pajamas always felt better on snow days and hot chocolate was more chocolaty and nothing beats those saucers! The last time I rode one was almost 13 years ago, it was a great ride until I hit that boulder at the bottom… Stay warm and take a full flask out with you when you go, it will keep you warm and make you smile at the weather!


    • That pizza pan was big…beneath my little can, as my mother would say, and patten wise. Whose idea was that. Hurricanes, yes, you have a point. Wonder if New York will have another this year…hoping Mother Nature won’t make it an annual tradition. You know she’s so full of surprises that one.

      Have a lovely day DAF…Little Man is packin remember…en route to see his Nana 🙂


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, first of all … fantastic photo! People used to ask me why I didn’t go into modeling. Besides the fact that I am just under 5’6″, I don’t photograph well. But you know how it is, if you’re skinny you’re a model. Now YOU had the skinny, the height, and the cheekbones!
    We used to take the four kids to the Caribbean for ten days in January. Due to the economy, my sweetie and I haven’t gone for the past three years. The kids are between 23 and 27 now, with significant others, so they won’t be accompaning us when we go again. I hate the snow and can’t wait to hear the reggae music and feel the sun again during the winter.


    • The Caribbean, I’d sure suit up for that. Hate the cold. Has been a little milder the past couple days, but I’m layered like a six year-old about to tip over. I love when I see that. They’re wearing so many clothes they can hardly walk.

      That picture makes me laugh so. My pal Hank, the first guy to ever take my photo, sent it to me. Look at that hair. you could climb it.

      If I had to do it all over again Skinny, I’d go to school…English/writing/American history major. Is there such a thing? My appetite for knowledge in my twilight years is so vast…a thirst that never gets quite quenched. We shall wait for the arrival of spring the two of us, and in the meantime there’s always Jane Austen and brandy 🙂


  4. katecrimmins says:

    Love that hat! But anything would look good on you! So far we are not going south for a trip this winter. Booo!


  5. I love having different seasons, however I could live much better with winter being short & sweet. It was much more fun when winter meant days off from school, soup & hot chocolate, now it’s just a pain in the ass.
    That photo looks like it could be in a magazine today, confirming your look is indeed classic!


  6. I’ve always like winter, although not as much in Korea where the schools are largely unheated. But I don’t blame people for seeking out warmer climates.
    By the way, long time no see. I’ve been very behind on my reading but keep thinking about you and wanting to get back to reading your blog. I set it up with email notifications, so I’ll be better in the future. 🙂


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