Joe Fresh

images-82Wish I could say he was a frisky fella I’ve just met, but no such luck. He’s a huge store that has moved in across the street the size of a city block with racks and racks of low priced items that would make your head, and wallet, do the Watusi.

Camille and Joanne, along with yours truly, were there the day they opened to get our complimentary pair of cashmere knee socks. For free socks, I would have slept on the pavement if need be. Now here’s the fly in the cheap sartorial ointment..they were eight ply.

Why do things always look better on the other side of the fence, or in this case, Avenue?

Joe Fresh’s line of dresses and pants, jeans, jackets and an array of shoes, that from a few feet away, look top of the line… up close display something quite different.

Think Rocky Horror Show on white, faceless mannequins.

“Look at this drek,” Camille said in her best Yiddish that’s pretty bad, “are they kidding?”

Joanne, who was determined to feel good over black corduroy jeans for 19.95 said, “Oh Camille, you’re just too fussy,” as the pair she tried on split up the middle.

“Hmm,” was all I could say.

I do believe in the old wives’ tale, you truly get what you pay for.  images-83 As I told Joanne, who was so crestfallen her thong, once again, was exposed to the world, “After two washings or a couple of trips to the cleaners which naturally defeats the purpose of getting a deal, you’ll have corduroy napkins…at best.”

But you should have see the pandemonium going on, in particular, in women’s sportswear. Was that a pleather parka that just landed at my feet? How did I know it wasn’t real leather? Because you could apply lipstick by gazing into its sleeve.

The other thing I couldn’t help wondering was, where is all this drek made? Are there little kids, way past their lunch, working a foot pedal 16 hours a day somewhere?  images-84

One did not smell a Union Label.

And the other thing that really didn’t sit well with me was their faux fur department. May we define that please? When I asked Juan, the assistant manager, he winked and said, “Dun’t e-veen go dar mommy, da-ust me,” which made me reach for my cell…

Calling the Humane Society, calling the Humane Society, come in please.

Camille actually had, what was being touted as faux raccoon, on her head. images-86

“What does it feel like Camille, is it soft at least?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it feels like anything exceptional, but it does have an odd odor…like ham that’s been overcooked.”

“OMIGOD!”

I had visions of pigs on a spit soon to be toupee-ed

Never say die, or dye…we moseyed over to shoes perusing them thoughtfully.

“They’re certainly economical,” Joanne said. “I mean where else could you get a little pair of black flats for 50 bucks.”

“Resale,” Camille and I said in unison.

“Why are we standing here with pleather pigs and torn crotches?” I said, hoping I wasn’t  holding back.

“You’re right,” said Camille as if she just emerged from a trance. She then grabbed Joanne by the hand like a truant ten year old.

“Let’s go..”

Second Ave. and 81st please,” Camile said after we jumped in a cab.

Designer Resale, here we come.

and Joe, please lose our number because we have just lost yours…

FRESH!

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Beauty, Fashion, friendship, humor, modeling, money, New York City, shopping, Uncategorized, women and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Joe Fresh

  1. micklively says:

    I agree with “you get what you pay for” excepting two caveats: names and fashion (which can be the same thing).
    We used to shop every week at ASDA (Walmart) but got so sick of the poor quality. It ain’t cheap if it’s tasteless. Now we shop in Sainsbury’s. It is more expensive, but not much, and their carrots taste like carrot, not water.

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    • In the long run you save zip…you think you’re getting a deal, but there you are shopping for another pair of black cords before you know it…hello. Also, when you see this stuff up close it seems flammable..one good strike of a match could blow you and your Slim Fits right to kingdom come…never liked Walmarts after seeing that Michael Moore documentary where anyone could stroll in to buy a gun and loose bullets.

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      • micklively says:

        Well, ASDA don’t sell guns and ammo, fortunately. I recall being absolutely gob-smacked when I saw them on the shelves at Walmart in Boise though. It was like an episode of Back to the Future: suddenly I’m in the Wild West.

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      • Then we wonder how something as heinous as The Newtown shooting could have possible occurred. It happened a year ago when some mentally disturbed kid after killing his mother who collected ammo like stamps, taught him to be a crack shot where he drove to a school armed like an insane Navy Seal killing 25 little kids and a few adults who tried valiantly to protect them. Since it was Christmas last year, the press is making sick hay out of it…naturally…does that kind of thing happen where you are? So hope not.

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  2. katecrimmins says:

    It’s hard for me to find clothes that fit and look good (at least to me). When I find something, I will pay anything. I only do cheap for fads and sometimes it doesn’t even last as long as the fad! I have never done well in those bargain stores. The stuff looks good on friends but for some reason poor workmanship always accentuates my worst features. (and my cats don’t allow any fur but their own in this house!)

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    • Glad we agree on the fur issue…my ex had given me a rabbit hat one Christmas…when I put it on I threw up…I felt all those bunnies were on top of my head braying out in agony. I then gave it to Housing Works, our local charity thrift shop.

      Joe Fresh is great to look at if your eyesight’s bad. Up close it’s made so poorly…I’d rather spend little more and get a little more.

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  3. I avoid the cheap, cheap stores… I do love the sales rack of stores though. Cheap stores are just that, cheap… When my girls were younger I would go into Forever 21 and let them buy to their heart’s content knowing that the clothes that were so fashionable at the time would be worn out when the fashion died down and I didn’t feel bad with the purchase, kept the girls current and the wallet solvent, but since they now buy their own clothes, I don’t darken the cheaper stores… Great post… Don’t you hate the way cheap material feels on you?

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    • Yes…cheap fabric can certainly make one feel anything but comfy. This is one of the reasons I love resale…you get beautifully made things that feel silky for a fraction of the price. You pay a cleaning fee, just to make your mother Feel better, and voila…a stellar piece of clothing is added to your wardrobe. Not all my stuff is secondhand, but a lot of it is. I sell my things too. Received an Hermes scarf I knew I’d never wear…off it went…some lucky person will be getting such a deal. I already have two I rarely wear. One is from a film I was in in 1986, the other belonged to my late, great friend Jackie. That’s enough neck drapery for this Thin Girl..I am chatty today there DAF 🙂

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      • nothing wrong with chatty… it keeps me from continuing my laundry! I need to rent that movie! Have never known a star before… 😉
        When you are a tiny person scarves overwhelm you… I avoided scarves for a long time because I always felt like the Lone Ranger in them… had a friend who told me to just go for it and wear it with panache and no one would notice my meekness… wore it for a weekend while with her and now I love my pasminas and scarves! Love hearing from you. Hope this week turned out better than the beginning. ❤

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      • I was a kid…it’s a film called Quick Change with Bill Murray and Geena Davis…I play the labeled to the hilt mafiaoso guy’s wife. so long ago…but my Hermes scarf is front and center.

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      • I bet it was fun! I will have to find it and watch it. I love that you have something besides the memory to remember it. I love tangible things to remember people and times with. I bet there are many more stories of that time floating around your mind. I so enjoy your blog and the topics that come from posts. Thanks for being you.

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      • I like tomorrows..Carmela makes another serious cameo…how I love her…just now I was coming back from the library and she was in the yard…and what’s so cute, and will never cease to impress me, is how animals know you. they just do…so when she saw me, her excitement was 10 fold. She wiggled and wagged, craned her neck from the fence like a pelTcan so I could rub her ears…and I always sing to her the little song I made up…’the prettiest girl I ever saw…was five feet long with great big paws…the prettiest girl I ever saw….was five feet long wo=ith great big paws.’ I know DAF…she needs a life 🙂

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      • no, I sing to my dog while I bathe him, and believe me, I cannot sing a note! I love made up songs, sounds very normal to me… uhh, do you think we may be the ones not so normal? ❤

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  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Oh yes, Susannah. Nothing like a great sale … but it HAS to be quality. My girlfriend and I used to go to an annual attic sale at a local fashion store (long ago out of business). As single young ladies with lots of disposable income, we’d each emerge literally dragging a garbage bag size of loot behind us.

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