This is a favorite expression of mine, and so true. No one wants to be bitched at and if you’re not convinced, turn the tables and see how you like it.
My friend Ed has what he calls the no bitch rule…you get to complain to your significant other about an infraction three times…if it continues, that’s it. You shut-up through eternity, unless of course her cooking or nose picking packs you off to divorce court, which isn’t highly recommended. I mean, anyone you’re with will do something to challenge your love. The point being, how much do you love them?
I hate being hassled. If I’m late, or would rather not…I want you to say, “It’s okay baby…no worries on this end.”
Not, “Goddammit, I’m so sick of your Cancerian moods…for once will you think about me for a change?”
That’s when Thin Girl leaves so fast she makes skid marks.
I am such a great example. I never get mad if you cancel. Why? I always have a book as backup. You’re cute and all, but so’s the Big Oyster: History on the Half Shell, the book on my nightstand.
When you say, “Can’t we just stay home and order in?” I’ll say, “Sure honey,” then take all the take-out menus out of the oven spreading them before you urging you to pick whichever one you prefer.
Wouldn’t you want to come home to me? I’ll even tip the delivery guy and bring you your plate brimming with everything you shouldn’t eat in bed on a tray.
The guy who says, “Don’t you think it may be time to do those dishes?” is not the guy for me. I want him to say, “Finish your chapter sweetie…I’ll do them.”
“Ya will? Really? That’s why I love you so much, cause YOU LEAVE ME ALONE…wanna have sex?”
See, you need to run the tape to the end. Wouldn’t you put on that leopard Victoria Secret corset you save for special occasions for someone who’s willing to scrub your spaghetti pot?