Midnight Googling

I like being online at 3 a.m. It feels as if you’re privy to life while the rest of the world sleeps. But like anything there’s a downside as in…be careful what you Google.

Sweet and funny animals are one thing, the medical profession is another since if you’re not careful, you’ll have your will made out before daybreak.

If my friend Ed hadn’t talked me off the roof, I’d be convinced I was dying. You ask a simple question like, how come my legs cramp while I’m sleeping, and next thing you know, you have polio. Yes, you’re FDR in Chanel Night Cream and Brooks Brothers pajamas.

Your heart begins to race like that Maserati you always wanted while you start bequeathing precious belongings to friends and colleagues.

Camille, who I called at 4 to tell her the grim news and ask what she’d like said before cursing then slamming down the phone, “ARMANI…AND A LITTLE SLEEP.”

Now that was easy. I tried calling my other pal Joanne but all I got was her voice mail. She was smart…she has caller ID.

Ed, on the other hand, was up reading and quickly clipped my wings of worry like he was launching a ship…the S.S Doom left port gratefully without me on it.

I have to say I marvel at Ed’s patience. You see, I think I’m dying at least once a week and without fail he’s always available to resuscitate.

Our midnight imaginings can be our own worst enemy. As another friend said, “Susannah, as a writer you have a very vivid imagination so I can only recommend you keep it in check.”

Copy that, I said, feeling like an ass confiding my fear of polio along with bone cancer and MS.

Yes, have I mentioned one illness wasn’t enough for me. I needed multiples to make sure my hair, what little I have, stood on end.

After Ed reassured me anyone who can run five miles a day without dropping dead, could more than likely scratch off all those possibilities, I went to Starbucks.

It’s great having a friend like him…now he’d be safe to Google.   DSC00657 See what a great pal he is? He even supports my cemetery habit. That’s Woodlawn, in the Bronx.

DSC00654 Tombstones for two? 🙂

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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26 Responses to Midnight Googling

  1. micklively says:

    It’s probably of little comfort to you but I’m usually at my desk by 0200 your time. “The rest of the world sleeps” is an uncharacteristically US-centric comment.
    You look good in Autumn leaves.

    Like

  2. lewiscave says:

    I asked google if ice cream can give you a sinus infection, two hours later I was certain I was pregnant! Thanks for the post!

    Like

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    It’s so true, Susannah. When a list of symptoms appear, we can all identify with enough of them that it means we have IT. You’re in good company.

    Like

  4. edwardcres says:

    Trust me folks, you’ve never really travelled until you’ve toured a cemetery (or a dead President’s house, for that matter) with this girl.

    Like

  5. edwardcres says:

    And what the fuck is this “awaiting moderation bullshit”. You and I are two of the most immoderate life forms in this solar system.

    Like

  6. katecrimmins says:

    Hmmmm…and I thought it was only cancer survivors that go crazy at 3 a.m. I don’t envision maladies like MS and polio though. I always go for some incurable form of cancer, fourth stage of course. I hate 3 a.m.

    Like

  7. Vasca Beall says:

    Touring graveyards is an okay thing; interesting! The way you function…running, eating healthy foods…etc. I think you’ll survive for many years to come. Besides laughter is one awesome remedy and you have it.

    Like

  8. I love this!! My dear departed mother in law gave me a secret for leg cramps… eat a banana. The cramps are from potassium ebbing away. She ate a banana a day and it kept the cramps at bay. I have tried it… it does work. I hate leg cramps. Please take care of yourself!

    Like

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