Fresh Romaine

No, I’m not about to lecture on greens…believe it or not this is about a dog.

I live over an overpriced cafe home to the rich and famous. I’ve seen so many actors and public figures in front of my house it’s a pity I don’t work for the E Channel.

I’d have a scoop on the hour.

But this doesn’t involve anyone famous, but from what I gathered by the looks of him, the fellow in question was very, very rich.

His driver, decked out in Downton Abbey livery just with current cuffs, images-2 waited by a gleaming black Rolls Royce double-parked with the arrogance of someone who could well afford to pay a ticket.

He even had a cap that made him look as if he was in London driving through Piccadilly an hour before. images-3

I didn’t linger on purpose. Joy, a woman I know, stopped to chat, so while I reluctantly caught up on her self-possessed news, a very lavish looking thirty-five year old came loping out dressed in a suit that seemed molded onto his long, lanky body. Suddenly a Pekinese peeked from the Rolls like a groupie hiding in the backseat. images-4 (This picture is from Google Images but she looked very much like this…coiffed to the hilt) The driver majestically opened the door so, Miss Romaine, yes…you heard right, came bounding out to greet her master.

When Joy saw she lost my attention she didn’t really have to begin with…Foster Grants are great to conceal glazed eyes…she took flight.

This allowed me to waltz over to Timmy and Lassie and say, “How cute is that…he sure knows who you are.”

Timmy, peering at me over his Foster Grants said, “It’s a she…and Miss Romaine would know me anywhere, she’s daddy’s little girl.” Now that was an understatement if I ever heard one the way the dog adoringly gazed at him. If I didn’t know better I would have thought she was one of the Olson twins.

“That’s an unusual name, Miss Romaine…how did you ever come to call her that?” Essay number 781 comin right up.

“Her full name, the one Darla, her breeder gave her at birth is Miss Romaine so I thought it was just too divine to change.”

“DIVINE…Divine9 that’s who she reminded me of, but kept that to myself.

Did I mention she was wearing a Burberry car coat, matching boots and a pearl choker?

She looked better than I did.

“I wonder what made Darla name her that,” I said, staring at Miss Romaine who was rudely growling at me.

I might have been a little politer if I were that well-dressed. Iceberg would have been a much better name for that little head of snappy lettuce.

“Well I’m not sure where the name came from,” her owner said, “but rumor has it Darla was in the middle of lunch.”

Only in New York folks, only in New York and perhaps a John Waters film.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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14 Responses to Fresh Romaine

  1. I wonder if the breeder was just on a vegetable kick for a while. I’d love to think there’s a little Pekinese or pug running around somewhere with the name Mr. Rutabaga.


  2. micklively says:

    I know it’s your home and you love it but, I swear, if I lived there, I’d be behind bars for assault or worse within a month. I am minded of Elvis’ New Amsterdam.


  3. katecrimmins says:

    Her name is very French-sounding. Her owner, however, seems a little full of himself but as long as he treats her right, I’m ok with it.


  4. Love this! I bet had Miss Romaine been able to be closer to you, she wouldn’t have returned to her owner.. Great post, how are you doing?


  5. skinnyuz2b says:

    What a great name for an uppity puppy. Brings her down to earth. One of my favorite names that we gave a beloved mutt was ‘Lumpy Aloysius’.


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