What’s Cookin Daddy

There’s something about an older man with a younger girl that rankles me. I know it shouldn’t, but it does.  images

My fur went up when watching this old coot maul this young lady who could have been his granddaughter. She was pretty with a little too much eyeliner, and from the looks of it, he had just taken her shopping since she was surrounded by Saks and Bergdorf bags.

I wanted to say, hey Grampa, you cashing in on your investment so soon? It’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking anything stronger than tea.

I can remember dating an older man who didn’t buy me a thing…a salad here and there, but I genuinely liked him.

images-1This little lady looked as if it was all about the perks the way she ALLOWED him to nuzzle and guzzle her. In other words, ardor was nowhere to be seen. You could just see her looking at her nails while he had sex, or at least his version anyway. He was old, so unless he has an IV of Viagra in his johnson, a term my father liked, his kitchen’s closed.

Camille say it’s very hard (well not really) when a man gets older to accept that he can no longer get a hot girl, so he simply pays for it. Maybe not in cold cash, but in shoes and accessories. She should know since her list of geezers wraps around the block. She tells me more often than not, all they want is company and to be seen with a pretty girl.

Not in this case though. This guy couldn’t keep his hands off of his little tchotchke who resembled a twenty-year-old Angelica Huston. His toupee, that looked as if it would take off any minute, was particularly alluring.

Of course I’m kidding. It looked as if it came with a tank of gas.

I sat sipping my mint tea thinking, I’ll write about you in an essay that you’ll never see… unless….

When the young lady escaped to the loo I leaned over and said, “Such a pretty girlfriend you have.”

He beamed like a tired theater marquee before saying, and grip your seats, “She is one of many.” Did I want to smack him, but had better ideas.

“You know I have a blog, and I write a lot about women.”

“You do?”

“Yes I do,” I purred, “and since you’re obviously an expert on the subject I would love for you to read it.” He immediately pulls out his mini iPad to take down my blog address.

Then the infant returns.

“I can’t leave you alone for a second, can I?” Oh please…I gave her a knowing look as if to say…who are you kidding Toots, before taking a polite leave.

Well, Gramps, if you’re reading this, I hope you took your heart medication, just in case it stops.   imagesWe’ll blame my strain of evil on the eclipse and the full moon. What the hell.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in humor, New York City, sex, Women and men, writing and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to What’s Cookin Daddy

  1. jimmie chew says:

    oh poor grandpapa, 😉


  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    “She is one of many.” Oh, Susannah, how did you keep a straight face?


  3. micklively says:

    Dirty old men need love too! 😉


  4. Jeanette Hamilton says:

    I don’t like the old man young girl thing either, but if they are both getting what they want out of the deal, more power to ’em. I’m equally repulsed by the opposite arrangement, too. As a woman of a certain age who has worked her butt off for every penny, I can’t fathom sharing it with a young stud just for, um, sex.

    Still enjoying you, Susannah. Have a lovely Easter.


    • Hi Jeanette…so nice to hear from you…yes, I suppose if it’s an even exchange but it’s still an eyesore. I try not to be judgmental but certain things get away from me. I’ve never been one to go after younger guys, I bore too easily. And older men make me sick…they do. When I see one leering at me, I cringe. Am thinking of leaving my ego to the Smithsonian.

      I hope you, and those you love, have a happy, healthy Easter. It’s such a lovely holiday even if just celebrated metaphorically.


  5. katecrimmins says:

    As a woman whose ex-husband left her for a woman half his age, you can imagine what I think when I see it. I remember the gooey eyes and adoration (excuse me but I have to barf!). If you have a lot of money donate it to an animal shelter!


    • I didn’t mean to upset you with such a memory. Every man I’ve ever been with, the exception being Bill because he died and didn’t have much of a chance, has stepped out on me. Some of them were much younger…sexier…would do anything for a sweater and a shrimp cocktail. I don’t know. I’ve always required more than that, like a sense of humor and some intelligence…call me crazy.


      • katecrimmins says:

        Heavens, it’s old news. It doesn’t upset me but more astonishes me as to how shallow some guys can be. I can remember when I was very young, there was an old guy at work who “was sweet on me” (old saying for sure). I was very nice to him but I was 20 and he was 60 and wrinkly. I found the thought of it all repulsive. Like screwing your grandfather. Perhaps his home life was dull and I perked up his day with my youth. That’s all he got.


      • I love…screwing your grandfather…yes, that puts it in a nutshell alright.


  6. MJ says:

    “One of many“? What a deluded, serial jackass! He sounds like a dud who can’t even keep a paid escort for long. His arm candy du jour may not be as smart as she thinks she is, either. The stuff of shopping sprees will always be there, but not so youth. Why waste it on ugly old fools? Life is too short to squander on jackasses of any age, but at least a good-looking one is a pleasure until he starts hee-hawing.


    • This is so funny. You should be writing young lady!!!


      • MJ says:

        Thanks, Susannah; you are kind. Meanwhile, I bet the old fart couldn’t wait to see what you had to say about him. He’ll probably come back, too, looking for another reader to disagree. (You there, sir, braying with indignation: be grateful for the reality check.)


      • He was quiet a dandy, that’s for sure. Ego really fascinates me. This man had no qualms…he was an old rooster that keeps cluckin and truckin, if you will. Have a wonderful Easter MJ. Always nice to hear from you.


  7. Elle Knowles says:

    Oh!…You’re sooooo baaaaad! I just wish I could think as quick as you do!


  8. kellymau says:

    I always try not to judge too quickly. When I started reading I thought: “Well, they both made a deal. She decided to be his arm candy for some materialistic benefits. He is old and alone and probably in need of some company.” But when I’ve read the: “She’s one of many.” – What a horrible man! I hope, he did read your blog. One is never too old to learn a life’s lesson…


    • Have we met? I think it may be your first comment, so how do you do…yes, judgement is something to try not to exercise but occasionally it’s bigger than one’s efforts. I go out alone a lot so it’s easy to get involved with an observation. They were bigger than life these two. Right out of a movie.


      • kellymau says:

        Hey Susannah. Yes, it was my first comment on your blog and I started to follow you right after reading some of your posts. You are a really talented writer. I started my own blog very recently on March 28th. It’s about Art, Design, Fashion and Lifestyle. I didn’t include as many observations of human behavior as you did. But maybe I will in future posts? (You inspired me 😉 )
        “Never judge a book by it’s cover” – The difference between the book and the human being in this case is, that you can judge a human being, like the old charmer you’ve written about, by his behavior.
        I am looking forward to read your new postings.


      • Thank you Kelly…blogging is a great tool…makes your art better…like doing laps in a pool…strengthens those creative muscles so I’m excited for you.


  9. There is something a bit twisted (or depressing, depending on your view) about bragging you’ve got lots of girlfriends a quarter your age. He evidently gets bored with them very quickly.


    • Or they get tired of him…I know from experience, if you’re only with someone for the cash, that frippery gets old real fast. The price tag you think you’re getting away with not paying is a myth.


      • There’s always a price to pay, in one way or another. It would be nice to think that everyone gets what they want out of the deal, but probably not. By the way, do you see this much with older women and younger men? I’ve heard of it in movies, and I’m sure it happens in real life somewhat, though probably nowhere near as much as the reverse.


      • Take Camille, she loves younger men but doesn’t take them too seriously. I get bored so that’s my problem. She likes to look at them, like live knick-knacks. I think women who need to really feel validated looks wise tend to go after younger men…not different from men preferring younger women. I do know that visually, if it’s long term, nature has the last say and it’s pretty hard on the eyes.


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