A Wild Mother’s Day

I’m not a mother, something I fully regret, but I’m told by many it’s not an easy thing to be. I guess that applies to all mothers, including nature’s own.

I thought I’d Google a few and see what they had to say. Mine always said, having me ruined her legs.

images-6 I just need five more minutes…go play.

images-1 Did you take my wallet again?

images-7 I said go to your room until you pull yourself together…go on now.

images Ma, but I hate housework.

images-12 Got your nose.

images-8 What did I just say?

images-1 If you bite me one more time you’re grounded.

images-1 What did I tell you about washing behind your ears?

images-2 Because I said so.

images-9 I’m not wild about you becoming a fireman like your father.

imagesNo, you cannot swim to school alone.

images-11 When I say stay put, I mean stay put.

images-2 We should have used a condom.

images-2 Ma, I’m stuck.

images Alright, keep your collar on, I’m comin.

images-1 It’s about time you got up.

images-3 No, you absolutely cannot model.

images-6 This is how you open a drawer…are you watching?

images-5 I love you mama.

images-10 Being a mom takes a lot of patience, but seeing them grow up to be ladies and gentlemen makes it somehow all worth it. At least that’s what I tell myself….HEY, WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU!

All photos courtesy of Google Images.

SB

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Family, humor, kids and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to A Wild Mother’s Day

  1. micklively says:

    Unlike you, I don’t regret not being a mother, though I suppose, upon reflection, I could have made a packet, selling my story to the tabloids. I don’t think it would have done much for my street cred though.
    Good photos and better captions: thanks Susannah.

    Like

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, you put a smile on my face. What a great way to start the morning!

    Like

  3. Susannah, you are a mother to so many. They come in all shapes & sizes! Personally, I’ve come to realize that the more my children grow the bigger the worries. I would love to invent mandatory cribs for children over 18.

    Like

  4. katecrimmins says:

    What great captions!

    Like

  5. I have missed reading your wisdom and humor. You are like the sunshine, you brighten the days. Also, you may not be a mom, but you give in abundance things that moms do, encouragement, humor, laughter, and an occasional good swift kick in the pants. I personally think that mother’s day should be renamed daughters day, so all women can be noticed, loved and cared for.

    Like

  6. Keep up the great work, Susannah. I always love your picture captions. The owl one made me laugh and I had to stare at the picture for a long time before I realized that the biggest one was a doll.

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    • I have fun doing those…it’s a chance to be really silly. Those owls made me laugh, especially the faker. Thanks.

      Like

      • You have a great sense of silly. 🙂 I appreciate it.

        Like

      • I still watch I Love Lucy and howl even though I know the dialogue by heart. The stupider the better is what I say. By the way, I’m bombing on Reddit. After they finally allow me to post telling me 20 times to check the URL…I get not one reader. I think they’ve blocked me. Something isn’t right. Also, do you know how to shrink a photo? Want to put my eBook cover on front of blog but don’t know how. Hope it’s okay I’m asking. Your Homepage is just so good looking 🙂

        Like

      • I haven’t posted any of my blog posts on reddit, but other links and images I put up there never do well. I see some of the stuff that makes the front page and it doesn’t seem all that spectacular sometimes, but that’s life. I doubt they blocked you, but I’m not sure how their system works exactly. I’ll have to research it.

        If you want to put the cover up on the sidebar of your blog, first go to Dashboard and go to Media. Add the cover image and then once it’s uploaded, get the image URL. Then go to Appearance and then to Widgets. Insert an image widget wherever you want it, then put in the image URL. There will be a place to put in the link to where your book is being sold. Then it should appear. (If you already knew some of that, sorry. I just think step by step like that.)

        Like

      • Thanks for all this, and no, I knew none of it…I’m not very versed om WordPress, so thanks. Will give it a whirl.

        Like

      • It’s your cyber student…how do I get the image URL once it’s uploaded?

        Like

      • Go to Media, then Library and it will show all your uploaded pictures. If you click on one, it will go to a different screen and on the right side, will be the File URL. It should end in .jpg/.png/.gif or something like that. You can then copy that to the place in the Widget page where it asks for the File URL.

        By the way, I was thinking that although I posted that one post of yours to r/funny on reddit, there are tons of other subreddits where blog posts might be more widely read. For instance, I post some things to r/korea and I just posted my latest story to r/mommit. They don’t get as many viewers are some of the larger groups like r/funny, but r/funny tends to have a very specific sense of humor.

        Like

      • It’s just too much for me…I can’t do this…I’ll just have to be happy with the name. Thanks though David.

        Like

      • Anything I can do to help, and I totally understand. I spent several frustrating hours trying things and yelling at the computer, “Why isn’t it showing up?” Don’t worry about it for now, but don’t give up completely. I have an idea. 🙂

        Like

      • I’m just a dolt when it comes to WordPress. I’m trying to just accept it gracefully.

        Like

      • There is definitely a pretty steep learning curve when it comes to parts of it.
        Do you know the program GIMP? It’s like Photoshop, but free. I used to use Photoshop but now I’m trying GIMP and I have no idea how to use it. I’ll need to go through the tutorial I guess to figure it out.

        Like

      • Never heard of it…sounds complicated.

        Like

      • So far, but hopefully I can figure it out soon. I’m trying to make a cover for my novel and I can’t afford Photoshop.

        Like

      • I understand 🙂

        Like

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