The Bible says: Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free…John 8:32
You hear this in 12 Step a lot, but they add…but first it will kick your sorry ass.
I’m in that group.
Sometimes I think it’s best not knowing something, but those are my ostrich tendencies. I’d rather hum loudly than hear what I don’t wish to hear, but often the truth, whether you like it or not, slams into you just the same.
It happened to me recently. I had met a guy in the park who turned my head like Sybil’s. We were introduced by Dave, his cocker spaniel, who’s also single. After a couple of casual encounters, he invited me to an art opening. I have to say, I was unusually thrilled looking forward to the event like a school girl. I’ll get to wear one of my little black dresses with strappy sandals, treating myself to a fresh pedicure just for the occasion.
And we met so organically. Dave had lost his ball that landed where I was stretching, so when Jack, I’ll call him, met up with Dave guess who was touching her toes?
But even something organic quite often comes with a bruise you don’t see right away.
The night of the opening I ran into a girl I knew. Assaulting my good mood, Janis said, “What are you doing with Jack?”
“Why…what do you think I’m doing? He invited me.”
“God Susannah, he’s the biggest druggie on the planet. Thought you were smarter that that.”
Suddenly all the lights went on. So that explained those numerous trips to the mens room and the mood swing in the taxi. My chest, the little I have, collapsed like a deck of flash cards.
Where before I was strutting like a peacock, I was now a chicken with no head.
I didn’t see Jack again for obvious reasons…been there, done that. Life with an addict makes you want to become one. But my disappointment had its way with me just the same.
I cried, did the old...why me, why me dance…comforting myself with cheap cookies and wine eventually rising off the mat. You never want good pastry when you’re crestfallen: Oreos, Twinkies and Mallomars are your drugs of choice.
They say finding out the truth earlier than later, is the difference between falling from a 2nd story window and a 4 story one. You may have scraped elbows and possibly even a sprain, but nothing is broken and you’ll be good as new faster than you can say…but I thought he was so nice.
And he was…nice and high.
In this case, would I have preferred my head in the sand? Absolutely not.
The truth set me free alright, but it did royally kick the crap out of me first.