Does Truth Truly Set You Free?

The Bible says: Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free…John 8:32

You hear this in 12 Step a lot, but they add…but first it will kick your sorry ass.

I’m in that group.

Sometimes I think it’s best not knowing something, but those are my ostrich tendencies. I’d rather hum loudly than hear what I don’t wish to hear, but often the truth, whether you like it or not, slams into you just the same.

It happened to me recently. I had met a guy in the park who turned my head like Sybil’s.  We were introduced by Dave, his cocker spaniel, who’s also single. After a couple of casual encounters, he invited me to an art opening. I have to say, I was unusually thrilled looking forward to the event like a school girl. I’ll get to wear one of my little black dresses with strappy sandals, treating myself to a fresh pedicure just for the occasion.

And we met so organically. Dave had lost his ball that landed where I was stretching, so when Jack, I’ll call him, met up with Dave guess who was touching her toes?

But even something organic quite often comes with a bruise you don’t see right away.

The night of the opening I ran into a girl I knew. Assaulting my good mood, Janis said, “What are you doing with Jack?”

“Why…what do you think I’m doing? He invited me.”

“God Susannah, he’s the biggest druggie on the planet. Thought you were smarter that that.”

Suddenly all the lights went on. So that explained those numerous trips to the mens room and the mood swing in the taxi. My chest, the little I have, collapsed like a deck of flash cards.

Where before I was strutting like a peacock, I was now a chicken with no head.

I didn’t see Jack again for obvious reasons…been there, done that. Life with an addict makes you want to become one. But my disappointment had its way with me just the same.

I cried, did the old...why me, why me dance…comforting myself with cheap cookies and wine eventually rising off the mat. You never want good pastry when you’re crestfallen: Oreos, Twinkies and Mallomars are your drugs of choice.

They say finding out the truth earlier than later, is the difference between falling from a 2nd story window and a 4 story one. You may have scraped elbows and possibly even a sprain, but nothing is broken and you’ll be good as new faster than you can say…but I thought he was so nice.

And he was…nice and high.

In this case, would I have preferred my head in the sand? Absolutely not.

The truth set me free alright, but it did royally kick the crap out of me first.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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24 Responses to Does Truth Truly Set You Free?

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, it’s so tempting to stay when they’re so cute and nice. Sorry to hear this.
    Many years ago, my best friend and I were at a club. One guy stood out from the rest, he was so ruggedly handsome. He finally walked over and asked me to dance, which he did well. And then? Then he sat at our table and opened his mouth. What a conceited jerk. If only he had kept his mouth shut.
    With so few available guys, there should be a law against preventable flaws.


    • If only he had kept his mouth shut…love that. Yes, I think that applies quite often Skinny. Men should think before they invite you to an opening or to dance, or to do blow in the bathroom. No he didn’t, but I’m sure that was coming like a slow train…how does that song go? Something about a train, high on cocaine?


  2. I was just having this conversation with my co-worker. She was letting me know that I always get “sucked” in by certain people and she is right. People really need to wear signs.


  3. Jeanette Hamilton says:

    I know I would have been sorely tempted to tell the girl to mind her own business, but what a favor she did you. Even though I’ve been around my share of substance abusers, and I like to believe I am fairly intuitive, I have to have it hit me in the face before I actually see it.


    • Hi Jeanette, nice hearing from you. Yes, I’m the Queen of denial when my hormones are awakened. It is kind of nice though to know they lie dormant ready to jump into those sandals when the mood arises. I didn’t examine him closely enough…I was more excited over the event than him now that I’ve had some time to think about the whole thing. That girlie-girl in us lives on, no matter what age we are. Again, good to see your name 🙂


  4. katecrimmins says:

    You did the right thing. Life is disappointing sometimes but it’s better that you went out and closed that door than always wondered about it. Besides that’s was keeps the Twinkie people in business!


  5. micklively says:

    So does the truth set you free? I think you ducked the question. Maybe AA will tell you confronting your demons empowers you and it’s easy to see how denial of an addiction might prove damaging. I guess the answer really depends upon what you mean by “freedom”. You are free to dump a guy because of his mood swings, without ever knowing that he’s an addict. Also, I wonder if there’s a danger that a “truth sets you free” mindset allows, maybe even encourages, making excuses for yourself? “Oh, if only I’d known”. I don’t know: maybe that’s too harsh.
    I’m sure that we underplay animal attraction: we all like to believe we’re so refined and cerebral. Maybe if he smells right, you’ll fall, irrespective of his pecadilloes? And maybe, just maybe, all the whinging we do later is merely an acknowledgement of how helpless we really are? I’m sure if I knew the answer to any of these questions, I’d be a lot richer than I am.


    • Wow, this is quite an enlightening litany there Mick. If I wasn’t told he was an addict, I wonder how long it would have taken me to figure it out. Let’s face it, when we first meet someone our intuition conveniently checks out. I was actually stunned at first. The aha moment came later. Also, I don’t fall or even look at anyone so easily anymore. So when it does occur, I revel in it. There’s nothing like first lust, or have you forgotten, you old married man you.


      • micklively says:

        I haven’t forgotten that explosion of the senses I get with a new lover. Nothing drives “grass is greener” thinking like that memory. When I was young and gorgeous(?), it might have been an option, albeit not a wise one.


      • I was kidding when I asked if you still remembered. Such a great moment in time when you think, all bets are off.


  6. Patricia says:

    Well, how was the art? And did you get dinner?


    • The art was very out there…not my cup of tea…I prefer paintings I can identify, like The Mona Lisa…and I did have dinner though my date didn’t eat much claiming no appetite. Gee, wonder why.


      • Patricia says:

        Sometimes ya just hafta be happy with a free meal. Sad but life is what it is.


      • Yes, I was happy with my grilled salmon with spinach on the side. Took half home. My non-eating date said, I would say slightly turned off, “Do you always take your food home with you?” And I said, “Yes.” 🙂


      • Patricia says:

        Does he think we should just throw food away? What a jerk… maybe you should have asked for his dinner to be put in a to go box so you could have it another day.


      • I’ve noticed, some people here in old New York find it embarrassing when you ask to take it home. Don’t know why. Like it’s uncool or too much a peasant thing. I am a peasant when it comes to food. I’m Italian. Just give me spaghetti, bread and a glass of wine, and I’m happy…and it’s great the day after if you don’t finish it at its first sitting 🙂


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