This came about because of all the ingenuous, silly remarks made to me by people who should check their mouths at the door.
I try to uplift rather than tear down…an art to be sure.
Just this morning I asked a young girl who, at 5 a.m. always looks so pretty, how she manages to pull that off at dawn. I can barely get my shorts and T-shirt on straight, let alone a little dress with strappy shoes.
Turns out she’s a yoga instructor who likes to greet her students looking nice before popping into her tights.
She glistened when I told her how breathtaking she looked.
Then I saw a woman on the train. She was sitting alone on one of the end seats looking sad and forlorn. She wasn’t particularly attractive…over weight, messy hair…but her hands were lovely. I tend to notice them because mine resemble a welder’s.
Before exiting the train I leaned in and said, “Your hands are really beautiful.” You talk about light…her face suddenly looked backlit, like in a Maxfield Parrish painting.
Words can either heal or wound. Every time someone makes a crack about my weight it’s like a stabbing. Yes I’m thin, but not skeletal by any means and what’s it to you anyway? Did I mention most of these charmers could lose a few pounds?
I never quite comprehend the chronic need to bring it to my attention, as if I don’t notice my own body. It’s mine for chrissakes…we live together.
Years ago I dated a famous actor who will remain nameless since he’s also famously married. I know, I know, but I did things like that at one point in my life.
Anyway, he took me to tons of theater, so afterwards we’d always go backstage to see the actors. He only said nice things to them, even after telling me he didn’t necessarily like the play. When I asked about this, he said, “Ducky, there’s always something nice to say…so you say it. There’s no point bringing anything up that will make anyone feel the need to stay drunk till next Tuesday.” He was older than I was, so they were bon mots to be sure that have stayed with me.
Try it out. Say something nice to somebody. Tell them they look great or you like their hair. Seek them out of you have to…
then watch the sun come out.
I’ll be waiting for a report.