Tall Dark And Rude

imagesI’m beginning to think I attract schmucks since there seems to be something about me they love.

There were at least a dozen other women in all shapes and sizes on the number 6 train headed downtown, but this particular schmuck had to stand next to me. Just my luck.

He couldn’t have been more than 30, nicely dressed in chinos and a blazer…cute, well groomed.

I was on my way to work for the Reader’s Digest…a little job I was happy about if you discount I’d be playing a woman with cancer. As an aside, I seem to be the cancer poster child called in for every kind under the sun. My thinness along with hair length is the winning combination for ads and periodicals. It’s enough to turn yourself into Greta Garbo…with no money.

I wasn’t sure where I was going since the photographer’s studio was somewhere in Queens. Having to change trains, I got up anxiously to be by the door, but had to get passed this guy in order to do so.

“Excuse me,” I say in my best Connecticut voice, but he doesn’t move.

“Excuse me…could I get by please?” He still doesn’t move. He was not listening to music nor was the car so noisy he didn’t hear me.

I tried a third time.

“I need to get by please.” He whipped around like a matador and said, “Where the fuck do you have to go? We haven’t stopped yet!” Now I was properly thrown by this sudden outburst regaining myself quickly.

“I’m politely asking you to let me by,” I say with a calm I certainly didn’t feel.

“And go where, an inch closer to the door?” Okay, even the Nutmeg State has her limits.

“Hey, what is it…do you need a little fiber in your diet there buddy? What the fuck is wrong with you? Just let me by.”

“Me? You’re the one who could use a little help there sweetheart.”

“Fuck you, you arrogant prick (too much?) How dare you speak to anyone let alone me that way this early in the morning. You’re lucky I don’t smack you.”

“Oh yeah, go ahead and try.” My anger shot up like mercury in a thermometer. I could have slugged him so easily but got control of myself…thank God.

I had no time to be arrested…I had to go have cancer remember, for The Reader’s Digest.

“You’re lucky I’m a lady.”

“You’re no lady, you’re a fucking, neurotic bitch.”

The doors opened and I smartly scooted out. A young Latino girl sidled up next to me and said, “It’s hees koma, notta yous.”

And we know that’s true, karmically speaking.


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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10 Responses to Tall Dark And Rude

  1. micklively says:

    Too many people, too little space and definitely too little etiquette.
    Good piece Susannah.


  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Hopefully you didn’t let this yahoo ruin your day, Susannah. My guess is his jerkiness will give him high blood pressure, acid reflex, and a host of other ailments. I doubt he will learn to chill.


  3. katecrimmins says:

    Maybe he didn’t get any last night? I love the affirmation from the young girl. Karma indeed.


  4. MJ says:

    The thing about this jackass is his insane self-righteousness. He’s on a mission to see that no one gets a head start exiting the subway car. Good Lord! Glad you didn’t engage further, Susannah. He’s the subway version of the kind of personality who’d shoot someone over a parking space.


  5. Bridge Trolls and Subway Door Trolls equal A-Holes. Who died and left him in charge? Glad you got out without needing bail money!


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