Courtesy At Large

What do you say to an over weight person who accuses you of being too thin?

There are quite a few avenues to choose from.

1) Do you take Guilt Street because they make 6 of you? Did you spoon feed them that Haagen-Dazs with a gun to their head?

2) How about Excuse Lane…oh I’m so busy lately I forget to eat. I guess I’ve dropped a few pounds, as if that will miraculously make them ten pounds thinner.

3) Of course there’s always the Truth Highway to motor on down…I like the way I look. It’s a conscious choice I make.

That of course might make them cry since they’ll think you’re suggesting they’ve chosen to be fat.

The only people I have true compassion for in regards to weight are those who can’t help it, like the fellow who works in the office downstairs. His obesity breaks my heart. He’s the sweetest man who clearly has battled this since birth. He’s not the size of a tuba because he’s snacking on a side of beef. It’s his ball and chain tipping the scales at 350.

But the woman who stopped me in the street to tell me to eat more now that I think of it, deserved a redress…not just because the spandex she opted for was quite a fashion faux pas…but it’s rude to mention someone’s weight, either way.

Maybe I was ill and had treatment of some sort (God forbid)…and believe it or not, when you criticize a thin person’s weight, it’s the same as telling a portly person he’s heavy.

The best solution would be to just shut up and mind your own business, and maybe from now on, skip dessert.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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10 Responses to Courtesy At Large

  1. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, I’ve always wondered why people think it’s okay to make comments about skinny people. It took a while, but in my mid-thirties I hit on a response if the comment was said in a rude way by someone who was overweight and would cry foul at a comment on their own weight. Here’s my ready response: “If only there was a way to combine our two bodies we could end up with two average weights.”


    • I’m going to use that Skinny, if you don’t mind. I’m always taken aback by the spontaneous crack coming out of nowhere…like I’ve a committed a crime…yesterday I had a wardrobe fitting and the clothes were all from 1958…I was the only one who didn’t get a panty girdle…talk about dirty looks.


  2. micklively says:

    Many years ago, Maeve and I were searching a village hall, looking for a particular club, and stumbled upon a Weightwatchers meeting. Maeve had missed her dinner and was merrily munching on a packet of crisps (chips in American). The hatred was palpable.!
    It is not a level playing field. I genuinely believe losing weight is not equally easy for all. But you only get one life and, however steep your particular mountain, it is yours and only yours to climb. And whether the rest of the world is pencil thin or gargantuan makes absolutely no difference.
    Jealousy is possibly the lowest of all emotions.


  3. katecrimmins says:

    At this point I am not considered real thin but I am small sized. When I was younger (and a size 0 to 2), my weight was always a topic of conversation. At first it was complimentary but I noticed an edge to it. Now when anyone comments on how well I have maintained my weight and ask what my secret is, I tell them to pick their parents well. What else can you say? Stop stuffing yourself tubby? Like you said, sometimes people are built the way they are based on a lot of stuff and it’s not always their “fault” although sometimes it is. I was very lucky. My mother’s side of the family had a stockier build but my dad’s family was a group of stringbeans. Weight is like religion and politics and should not be discussed unless you are telling someone they look fabulous!


    • True…it’s a touchy topic. On the Italian side of my family everyone was small boned…my dad’s Polish side was another story…all I inherited from them were cheek bones and curly hair. And I did not get my mother’s nose which seemed to take over her face. Mine’s not small but it’s proportioned, as I like to say.

      Staying active keeps one’s weight down I think too. All that ponding you do keeps you fit 🙂


  4. My tall, leggy, thin as a rail since birth niece has suffered from these comments her entire life. People don’t realize the damage this can do, especially on a young impressional girl who just wants boobs like all the other girls. You are 100% correct when you say that these comments, no matter what your weight, are hurtful. She is 35 and still deals with the comments, but I must say she can rock a pair of skinny jeans like no bodies business.
    Some people are just ignorant….ugh!


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