Laughter In Apartment 10

images After having one of my sleepless nights, I decided to get up and do something useful. No, I didn’t scrub the tub.

I made a list of some of my favorite jokes instead.

We all have them if you think about it. Here are some of mine:

I saw a kid on a leash. Have you seen this…a kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs… Bill Hicks

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, “The man goes on top and the woman underneath.” For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds…Joan Rivers

My wife, she says I never take her anywhere new…I said, okay, how bout the kitchen? Henny Youngman

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.

I don’t have any kids, at least none I know of…Carol Liefer

Why was six afraid of seven…seven eight nine.

The lion will lay down with the lamb, but the lamb won’t get much sleep…Woody Allen

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot...Elayne Boosler

Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.

What’s the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, … You know what you should do? Combine them … eat a penguin…Dave Attel

Housework can kill you, but why take a chance? Phyliss Diller

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his death bed, sold me this watch…Woody Allen

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night. Finally I let her out…Henny Youngman

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When? Bill Hicks

Who said insomnia can’t be funny?

๐Ÿ™‚

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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14 Responses to Laughter In Apartment 10

  1. Love the jokes! Thanks for the smile. It’s the tale end of a 12 hour night shift and I needed it.

    Like

  2. micklively says:

    A fine eclectic collection. Many thanks, Susannah. Sorry about your insomnia.
    May I add:
    Q: what’s brown and sticky?
    A: a stick.
    and
    There’s a raffle of epidemic proportions in West Africa. They call it tombola.

    Like

  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, you included of my favorites, too. Thanks for the chuckles and a great start to my day!

    Like

  4. katecrimmins says:

    Insomnia inspired a funny post. The best of all worlds (well except for the sleeplessness part)!

    Like

  5. Insomnia sucks but it sounds like you made the most of it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Love the jokes, especially the Bill Hicks and Woody Allen ones.

    Like

  6. Impasta. I’m going to use that one.

    Remember when we had to write these on napkins if we wanted to save them?

    Like

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