This big ear is to let you know my humor is still intact, and yes, I’m off on a tangent after one more delightful experience with still another tactless doctor. I’m amazed they sleep at night after mangling your hope with a verbal machete.
My left ear is way down. A friend suggested New York Eye and Ear Hospital since they are rated so highly. Off I went to be first in line at 7:30 A.M.
Seems 23 others had the same idea, but hey, I could have been 25.
After a barrage of bureaucratic bullshit, I’m told by a charmless woman they don’t take my insurance. “You’d be better off on Obamcare,” she said, screeching through the window.
“Ya think?” I’m not so sure.
They send me upstairs to the private doctors wing who are still affiliated with the hospital. I get a nice woman who says, “Doncha worra huna, I’ll help ya.”
Did I mention I was crying?
She decides to send me to their other office 30 blocks away where if needed, they can give me a steroid shot. Getting a shot with a needle the length of a shoelace is one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced, six times I might add…but I still go.
I rush only to have a young girl say, “I don’t know what you’re taking about.”
Three hours later (did I mention I was crying), I have my 17th hearing test. Personally, I think they’re a waste of time unless it’s at the onset of hearing loss. When you’re perched in that little booth and you know you’re not hearing those beeps or words...say papaya...say hinge…say fuck you pal and every word in your irritating lexicon, your spirit is lower than your hearing.
Finally I get to see Dr. Whim, I’ll call her.
Tip-off number one, she doesn’t even introduce herself shuffling my records that by now are the width of War and Peace never looking up.
I’m following like a puppy hoping to get adopted. We finally come to a cell-like office where we both sit.
“After looking at your history, I think a shot won’t help, nor will steroids anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
“Your hearing will just eventually go on both sides.”
My next question should have been, are you a professional fortune-teller, or only work in-house?
Hearing loss is a mystery to the medical profession since they can never give any definitive answers. After two years, nine doctors and now, 17 hearing tests, they just don’t know.
The good news is, neither do you.
To expound on that, we don’t know what’s coming in the next 10 minutes, so to say, nothing will help is a mighty arrogant statement.
Last year a friend of mine called from an emergency room after rushing his roommate there who had severe stomach pains.
He made too much money for Obamacare, so up till then, it was cheaper to just pay out-of-pocket than be insured. He refuses the procedure they recommend and goes home.
My friend is fraught with worry.
Fast forward three weeks. The guy is killed in a car accident.
My point, don’t tell me you know an outcome when you haven’t even properly said hello. Don’t claim you can predict the future unless you come with a crystal ball.
AND DON’T YOU DARE STEAL MY HOPE LIKE A RAT STEALING CHEESE.
I left and put myself on a short term dose of Prednisone hoping it will coax leftie back up.
My last round of steroids was a year ago, so I tell myself, no change in a whole year is pretty good and furthermore…
Dr. Whim can go fuck herself, which is probably just what the doctor ordered.
displaying a complete lack of feeling or consideration.
Who are these people?