Heartlessness of Doctors

2862211384_e5bb0bdc43 Should I go into medicine, or be an assassin? So not to disappoint my parents I chose the former. My mother said I could be another Doctor Kildare. I mean, how could I say no.

This big ear is to let you know my humor is still intact, and yes, I’m off on a tangent after one more delightful experience with still another tactless doctor. I’m amazed they sleep at night after mangling your hope with a verbal machete.

My left ear is way down. A friend suggested New York Eye and Ear Hospital since they are rated so highly. Off I went to be first in line at 7:30 A.M.

Seems 23 others had the same idea, but hey, I could have been 25.

After a barrage of bureaucratic bullshit, I’m told by a charmless woman they don’t take my insurance. “You’d be better off on Obamcare,” she said, screeching through the window.

“Ya think?” I’m not so sure.

They send me upstairs to the private doctors wing who are still affiliated with the hospital. I get a nice woman who says, “Doncha worra huna, I’ll help ya.”

Did I mention I was crying?

She decides to send me to their other office 30 blocks away where if needed, they can give me a steroid shot. Getting a shot with a needle the length of a shoelace is one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced, six times I might add…but I still go.

I rush only to have a young girl say, “I don’t know what you’re taking about.”

Three hours later (did I mention I was crying), I have my 17th hearing test. Personally, I think they’re a waste of time unless it’s at the onset of hearing loss. When you’re perched in that little booth and you know you’re not hearing those beeps or words...say papaya...say hinge…say fuck you pal and every word in your irritating lexicon, your spirit is lower than your hearing.

Finally I get to see Dr. Whim, I’ll call her.

Tip-off number one, she doesn’t even introduce herself shuffling my records that by now  are the width of War and Peace never looking up.

I’m following like a puppy hoping to get adopted. We finally come to a cell-like office where we both sit.

“After looking at your history, I think a shot won’t help, nor will steroids anymore.”

“What does that mean?”

“Your hearing will just eventually go on both sides.”

My next question should have been, are you a professional fortune-teller, or only work in-house?

Hearing loss is a mystery to the medical profession since they can never give any definitive answers. After two years, nine doctors and now, 17 hearing tests, they just don’t know.

The good news is, neither do you.

To expound on that, we don’t know what’s coming in the next 10 minutes, so to say, nothing will help is a mighty arrogant statement.

Last year a friend of mine called from an emergency room after rushing his roommate there who had severe stomach pains.

He made too much money for Obamacare, so up till then, it was cheaper to just pay out-of-pocket than be insured. He refuses the procedure they recommend and goes home.

My friend is fraught with worry.

Fast forward three weeks. The guy is killed in a car accident.

My point, don’t tell me you know an outcome when you haven’t even properly said hello. Don’t claim you can predict the future unless you come with a crystal ball.


I left and put myself on a short term dose of Prednisone hoping it will coax leftie back up.

My last round of steroids was a year ago, so I tell myself, no change in a whole year is pretty good and furthermore…

Dr. Whim can go fuck herself, which is probably just what the doctor ordered.

displaying a complete lack of feeling or consideration.

Who are these people?




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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20 Responses to Heartlessness of Doctors

  1. I just can’t! Well, no I can but this comment will be a novel. I’m sorry you had to endure that fuck…seriously I want my childhood doctor back. The kind of doctor who was a one stop shop and did it all for a homemade cake if you didn’t have money. That’s medicine!


  2. micklively says:

    I am so sorry to hear that you are still suffering.
    Clinicians are a strange breed. So many of them are pathologically incapable of imagining the world through their patients’ eyes (or ears). It is not unreasonable to expect them to be trained in bedside manner in the twenty-first century.
    Has anyone checked your Eustachian tubes are functioning?


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, no matter what the profession, there are always some who simply do NOT belong. We can only hope Karma will boomerang around for the doctor you saw.
    About every three years I get a wax build-up in my ears which interferes with hearing. It’s amazing how annoying it can be and how much I miss. This is just a small taste of what you’re going through, and mine is fixed with a quick trip to my doctor for flushing. I certainly hope you find the elusive doctor who can pinpoint what is wrong and has a solution that works.


  4. katecrimmins says:

    I have a level of hearing loss but much, much less than you do. So far, it only hampers me socially, specifically at noisy restaurants and in large crowds. I need to go get checked but I don’t want to. There are no solutions except maybe a hearing aid and people who have them aren’t happy either. I do remember when my husband lost his hearing in his left ear. He was beyond depressed. I’m stunned that in NYC there isn’t anyone who can give you effective treatment (humanely and with compassion). Perhaps these people are those super smart geniuses who have no ability to interact with people. I send you positive energy and let’s hope the prednisone helps.


    • I too suffer in a crowd. It feels like I’m in a huge bee hive. I sympathize with your husband. It’s so much easier to be in a low stress situation…just a few people if I’m out where the ceilings are low…or in my home alone. The library is such a refuge because you can’t talk. That makes me laugh to be honest…a legit place for hearing loss.

      If I were you, as long as your ears function enough, I say leave it be. You’ve been through enough Madam.


      • katecrimmins says:

        It’s a sign of aging but I have a growing list of restaurants and hot spots that I no longer frequent because I just can’t hear. I like groups of 4. When there are 6 I won’t be able to hear the folks at the other end of the table. A library sounds so perfect! They need to serve drinks!


      • You said it…an open free bar…I would never leave 🙂


  5. Elle Knowles says:

    I feel for you Susannah. I find my self straining more and more to hear what is going on all around me and sometimes I just smile and murmur yes or no or shake my head and pray the answer fits the question. Mine is from age and H’s is a combination of age and loud booming music in a secluded band room! Kinda like you, I hate to go to the doctor and can’t remember the last time I had a hearing test. That bee hive bit doesn’t sound good at all. While pregnant with my twins I had bells palsy in the last two weeks before they were born and had a buzzing in my ears for four weeks. It was treated with prednisone and thankfully all symptoms went away two weeks after they were born. Hopefully the medicine helps some and that ear comes up!


    • Thanks for sharing all that…I’m here awake because of the Prednisone…creates havoc with your body rhythms. Never realized you had twins. How amazing is that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Elle Knowles says:

        Hope you got a little sleep! Yes, the twins were the first. Today’s their birthday. Two for one!
        Had to get on my phone to reply to this. When i git up this morning their was a new feature on wordpress with comments and I can’t find the submit button when I type in my reply! Uggh!


      • I noticed that too…my right personal page has gotten fancier. Happy Birthday to your babies…despite how old they get, that’s what they’ll always be. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  6. They should administer empathy tests to graduate from medical school. Dr. House is great as TV drama, but sucks when you have to see someone like that (unless they’re really as good as him, and even then…). The medical system is the one thing that makes me seriously consider moving to another country. It is so much simpler and worry free in the other countries I’ve lived in. There’s no such thing as “doesn’t take your insurance” since there’s only one insurance and everyone takes it. And there’s my rant for the day. 🙂


    • It’s a first-rate rant David, and one I appreciate. Actually was thinking of you when I woke up. I missed Friday Fictioneers. Must remedy that.

      I know our medical system is shameful. The stories I have concerning the chill of doctors and nurses…how they just don’t care how anyone feels. It’s all about money and claims…you owe 10%…we need a co-pay, an authorization. I am so sick of it. Hope all is well…very nice hearing from you as always.


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