The Winter Of My Discontent

images It’s still not officially winter, but it may as well be.

I’m already layered like I’m sneaking out of a hotel…tights, long johns, 5 ply turtleneck sweaters. If I’m not careful I might tip right over as I’m walking down the street.

I even broke out my agnes b. faux fur hat that usually doesn’t appear before February.

A woman I know sidled up to say, “Since when do you wear fur?”

“Faux fur…since it dropped 30 degrees in a day and a half.”

“How do you know it’s fake…haven’t you been reading the papers? There’s an outbreak of false faux fur that’s real. Go ask PETA.”

“That won’t be necessary…I have firm faith in agnes b. who would never do a thing like that.” Why I had this faith, I really can’t say. Could be because I love my hat so much.

She then waddled off leaving me to ponder what might be on my head.

Years ago, my ex gave me a rabbit hat that felt like bunnies were running across my scull. My faux fur doesn’t do that.

End of story.

I then go to the library whose heating system rivals Miami Beach. Men were in their shirt sleeves while women should have kept theirs on. I hate droopy arms, they make me want to hit the floor and do regulation push-ups till they slip back into their coats.

My arms, though stick-like, don’t sway when I go from the op-eds to obituaries, the two sections of the New York Times I religiously read.

Of course, several of my layers had to come off so I wouldn’t faint. That took 20 minutes.

Winter is just such a pain in the ass and isn’t she here a bit early? I know it’s November and December is pulling up the rear, but shouldn’t there be an upside to Global Warming, like springy temperatures every other day? That’s fair. I could live with that arrangement knowing if I was freezing on Friday, come Sunday I’d be sporting tights and a tight T, socks in my purse only for emergencies.

Instead, I’m swaddled in sweatpants with so much padding I may, for once in my life, have an actual ass.

Excuse me while I get a blanket.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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30 Responses to The Winter Of My Discontent

  1. micklively says:

    Those rabbits knew how to keep warm: run around and don’t get turned into a hat.
    It’s still really warm here (gloat, gloat). There was a moth flying about my back garden yesterday afternoon. We usually get your weather about a week after you’ve finished with it, so I shall brace myself.
    Richard is feeling the cold since some nasty person dug him out of a Leicester carpark. That wind seems to blow right through his bones! I’m sure PETA would approve his fur-free status but glorious summer seems more than a play away.

    Like

  2. Elle Knowles says:

    Isn’t this weather crazy? It’s 28 degrees this morning in Florida and the high is 47! The snowbirds didn’t know what they were signing up for this year. We left a ballgame early over the weekend because we were shivering from the wind and cold! Yes, we have long johns in Florida too. I’ll probably be able to shed mine before you do. Sorry. 😦

    Like

    • It has now dropped to 28 with a wind that feels like a whip. I actually still went to the park despite it. When I think of where you are it’s always with a warm image remembering the days I’d go to Palm Beach with my ex to escape a long February weekend. It’s hard for me to think it’s cold there too.

      Bundle up…drink hot tea…write 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lynn says:

    Could be worse! You could be in Buffalo under 3 feet of snow. Oh wait, you would probably be still be sitting in your jammies, sipping on tea & reading a book because everything is closed…never mind!

    Stay warm:)

    Like

  4. Winter is way too early, I think. It went from one week being a nice cool fall to being the heart of winter the next. I’m just glad my office is well-heated. I love being cold outside, but not at all inside.

    Like

  5. MJ says:

    Quoting Ezra Pound (or trying to—this is off the top of my head):
    “Winter is acumen in
    Lhude sing goddam
    Raineth drop and staineth slop,
    And how the wind doth ramm

    Skiddeth bus and sloppeth us,
    An ague hath my ham.
    Freezeth river, turneth liver,
    All sing goddam”

    I hate the coming of winter!

    Like

  6. MJ says:

    Mad bad old Ezra, with his literary legacy forever tainted. But wow, could he write!

    Like

  7. katecrimmins says:

    We have the same weather as you. It’s the wind that’s driving me crazy. Makes me cold just hearing it even in the middle of the summer.

    Like

  8. Patricia says:

    I have been busy and behind in everything so I haven’t been here like forever. I miss your witty reports of your life. Hopefully, things will get back to the normal nothing around here so I can visit regularly again. As for winter… we had snow Nov 1 and tonight it is going into the teens. Really rare for South Carolina. Hope it isn’t a winter trend happening here.

    Like

    • How nice to hear from you and I too am behind on my blogs. The teens? Oh my…I certainly hope Teddy has his turtleneck on. Hug him for me, that gray hunk’a cat.

      Like

      • Patricia says:

        Teddy stays in where is warm…usually on his afghan. But now he has some competition for favorite spots. He has a brother, Jack. He is not too happy about it.

        Like

      • You have another kitty? That’s wonderful!!1 I’m certain Teddy will rise to the occasion once he sees he has a partner in crime. So happy for you Patricia. I too almost came home with one yesterday from a Petco, but they wanted to charge me 125 dollars so I protested. He was a sweet little guy, so I know he’ll have no trouble finding a home, but on behalf of those who roam the streets, and end up at the pound, that’s where I’ll go when I’m really ready. Again, congrats on your new catkid.

        Like

  9. skinnyuz2b says:

    I do substitute teaching. When it’s bitter cold like this I tend to avoid grade school because I don’t want to go outside for recess! Not to mention all the time spent making sure all the children have zippered coats, hats, mittens, and boots, only to help them take it all off again in a half hour.

    Like

  10. Amen! I can not stand going from a tundra to the fires of hell. Our office is a coin toss with the heat regulation, which is a first world problem that I should be grateful for, but we all have our limits.

    Like

    • It’s 10 degrees warmer than yesterday that makes it feel like Miami. The heat in my apartment isn’t exactly doing the tango…had to escape to the fires of the library yesterday to keep warm. How many days till spring…do you know Top? Ask Peanut.

      Like

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