And Then There Was Light

images After a week and a very long day, my hearing in my left ear went up proving once again the vagaries of Prednisone.

It hasn’t risen to its full height, the little warrior, but it’s made a grand attempt to stand on shaky legs like a wounded soldier hoisting the American flag.

Yesterday was one of the worst days ever. There was still no change, and in the past the steroid would kick in almost immediately, so my hope was all but gone.

I cried so much my eyes took on the shape of pins glazing over in their misery.

I had nothing to show for all these sick, side effects sidling up like unwanted house guests.

Insomnia, lack of appetite, pains in my legs and feet along with dizziness and swelling. I have a rash from God knows what since steroids sit on your immune system like sumo wrestlers. If I had a result, then I’d welcome these things as part of the deal, though a bad one, to regain my sense I can’t believe for over a half century, took for granted.

My friend, who’s a priest, was giving mass so I made myself go. I got there early wrapped in hopelessness along with 16 layers praying for at least a shift in peace.

That’s what I’ve learned to pray for…not wellness, but for the acceptance of however I’m feeling that day. God, with his busy schedule who tends not to get back to you right away, seems to have time to provide at least that much in a pinch.

Seeing my friend who’s such a light…younger and determined to make a difference, smiled and said hello to me in sign language.

It makes us both laugh since I tell him he makes me feel like Lamb Chop.

I did feel better when I went home settling in for the night, forgiving my body for just not being able to rise to the occasion.

The first thing I do when I open my eyes is check the voice-mail on my land line to see if I can hear it. Up till today, I could only on the right, the left registering nothing but a monotonous hum.

But then I heard my voice, though distant, say my name reeling me into a sitting position.

Reminded me, hope gone silent, might just be returning through a different route to teach you, you must never give up regardless of what seems to be.

We must stoke those fires for the unseen that have yet to make our acquaintance.

Hope springs eternal…eternally.






About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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14 Responses to And Then There Was Light

  1. creamy29 says:

    Reblogged this on creamy29.


  2. I’m so glad lefty decided to make an appearance, she seems a little diva-ish waiting until the last second to arrive. Be well Susannah!


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    That’s the way, Susannah. Prove that un-doctor from last week wrong!


  4. micklively says:

    I am so pleased to hear you’re on the mend. How soon can you drop off the steroids?


  5. katecrimmins says:

    Let’s hope this round lasts a long time. Let’s also hope that new doctor is kind and helpful. We all take our senses for granted. My ears are good but I have trouble with my eyes. I have dry eye which from time to time gets really annoying. No cure, treatments are tedious and costly and short term. I often long for the body I had 20 years ago. I wasn’t properly grateful at the time.


    • I don’t think anyone is Kate. If you had told me I could hardly watch TV or go to a movie comfortably, I would have thought you were nuts. Who ever thinks about what they’ve always had.

      My gratitude for all things that still work is over the moon…this I’ll say, and this is what it took.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Elle Knowles says:

    Yay! Things are looking up…Now if the weather would just cooperate! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Seriously, I’m happy for you. I probably wouldn’t fare well at all if I was in your situation.


  7. Susannah,
    that is such wonderful news! I’m very happy for you. I will be hoping and praying along with you for the recovery to continue.


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