Puttin On The Dog

untitled+headerimages-2 images-1 One can’t help but be amused at the coats and jackets people put their dogs in.

The dogs themselves tell the whole story.

Some of them, distinctly, like being dressed drag-like, despite how silly they may look. Others are so embarrassed they can’t even look you in the eye.

Take Mr. Kato, the rottweiler for instance. He refuses to wear his black, gabardine coat that makes him look like the Phantom of the Opera. He spends his entire walk taking it off. His owner, finally, respected his wishes, but it took time for him to realize, dogs clearly want their sartorial say.

This morning tooling round Harlem Hill, I saw a French Bull Dog in what looked like a Massoni car coat complete with pockets and turned-up collar, like he was about to stroll down the Champs-Elysees.

His owner, in a little, light jacket, didn’t look remotely as warm.

I ambled over.

“Your doggie is very chic in his coat.”

The man, startled, just stared for a moment. I guess he wasn’t used to some white girl chattin-em up at 7 on a Sunday morning.

“Well, you know there’s a story to her coat…it belonged to a little guy named Gunther who hated it…would attack it whenever it was layin around…my neighbor had spent a lotta money on it from the Sears Catolog. Marlene here, on the other hand, would cuddle up to it whenever she saw it, so it became hers.”

I did not make this up.

On cue, Marlene gave me a look as if to say, Hey, I’m no dummy. It’s cute, it’s warm. Gunther’s an idiot…but what do you expect from a fat, little hot dog.

Yes, Gunther turned out to be a dachshund with a bit of a waist issue, according to Marlene’s father who said, “You can’t feed long dogs too much since they turn into logs right ba-fore your eyes.” I immediately thought of Carmela who’s been looking rather portly round the  middle.

I then met a pit called Wally with a bright red sweater he seemed to like. His friend, Cuddles, wearing a stained pink one didn’t appear as happy. Can you blame her? Could we throw that soiled wrap in a a little Clorox please? A girl has her pride you know.

If I had a dog, what would I do…dress him to the nines or let him just be a dog, the fur nature gave him presumably enough.

Who am I kidding…not only would he have his own closet, he’d have a personal charge at Macys happily accruing points to buy that matching hat.




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Fashion, humor, Love, New York City, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Puttin On The Dog

  1. micklively says:

    Do dogs ever need clothing? It doesn’t seem likely to me. I think it’s driven by a wish to “humanise” them, sooner than any insulation requirement.


  2. HAHAHAHA! “You can’t feed long dogs too much since they turn into logs right ba-fore your eyes.” That is beyond hilarious and I know it was said in a matter of fact manner….because that’s just what it is a fact. Still laughing!!

    I just purchased matching sweaters for my little lambs and got each of them a new coat. I could put anything on Landon, but Peanut has higher standards and prefers the turn up color. His whole attitude changes when he is sporting that collar.


  3. katecrimmins says:

    Love the pit bull pictures. That is a classy look and he carries it off well. Now cats…well, you can just foggetaboutit!


  4. Lynn says:

    The pitbull in the fur cap! Seriously, his face is hysterical. DO.NOT.MESS.WITH.ME! My son has a couple of sweaters for his pooch. They live in Ottawa…VERY COLD….so they use it when they are out walking in the cold winter months.

    Admittedly, my husband also bought him a referee shirt (It says rufferee) to wear when he is watching hockey with our son….so funny!


  5. Lynn says:

    It comes complete with a yellow foul flag! I’ll save you the bus fair & see if I can get a pic of him!


  6. skinnyuz2b says:

    My oldest daughter had a Mexican hairless. Needless to say, he loved his coats in the cold weather. He needed sunscreen in the summer. Cuddling him felt like holding a warm leather purse …with blackheads!


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