Bill Hicks 2014

Bill-Hicks-001  Like Jackie and Yoko, I like celebrating Bill’s birthday rather than the day he died. A man’s life, after all, is what should be remembered.

I always try to recall an anecdote about him revealing what I know. The word reveal reminding me of his Revelations Tour he embarked on before we met.

I read something recently for the first time that made me sigh. In 1994, as he lay dying at his parent’s home in Little Rock, Arkansas he apparently said, “We’ll all laugh together again…in heaven.”

Made me think of the many times he made me roll on the floor whether it was on stage or snuggled in bed. The random things striking him funny, passed on to me.

Back then I was so serious caring only about…does he think I’m hot…does he think I’m sexy? Am I prettier than all those other girls?

You have to be alive a half century before you get, your ego is your own worst enemy and how it wildly, wastes your time.

Bill knew that at such a tender age which allowed him to plow through anything standing in his way.

People think it was always so easy for him…but it isn’t true…he had his trials…his critics. There isn’t a comedian on earth, or off of it, who hasn’t suffered for his art.

I heard someone say how Louis CK was an overnight sensation. I can promise you, he’d beg to differ.

Bill was one of the few people who told me I was smart.

“Me smart? Come on.”

“Ya think a’d waste ma time with sum clueless bimbo? I’m a busa guy bay-ba.”

There I’d be in all my shallow glory, wondering, did he mean that?

The things he loved about me were funny to me then. That I liked to read and watch multiple movies. I preferred to walk than take cabs. I could sit in a club watching him do three shows in a row happier than I’ve ever been, just for the privilege.

We were in Montreal for their annual comedy festival where the women came out in droves…gifts, notes, flowers, food…panties sprayed with…I’d get mad and say insecticide…shoved in cards and Playboy magazines.

One woman the size of a sequoia walked right up to him, grabbed him by the crotch and said, “How’s my sweet onion?”

I was aghast.

He swore he had never seen her before and naturally, wanting it to be true, believed him. But now, over 20 years later, know she was a coquette in his coterie of maids preceding me.

Bill, I always end my yearly essay talking directly to you.

It’s because of you I believe so strongly in energy, since so often feel you around. Could be anywhere…a place we went to, or a new one we had never been…when suddenly there’s a familiar warmth, like your arm just circled my waist.

You left the planet 20 years ago at 32 years of age…I’ve lived 28 years longer than that and there is never a day I don’t ask myself…


I can speak for many Bill when I say…we miss you.

Love, Susannah

Bill Hicks would have been 53 years-old today.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in comedy, friendship, Gratitude, Health, humor, Love, New York City, women, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Bill Hicks 2014

  1. micklively says:

    Another good piece Susannah. I particularly like the line “your ego is your own worst enemy and how it wildly, wastes your time”: very astute.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve decided egos are very expensive costing you in the long run. Thanks for reading. It’s always hard writing about him, but I make myself…he meant and still means the world to me.


      • micklively says:

        It’s good that you remember him so fondly but it’s also good that you remember his faults too: balance in all things.


      • He was no angel, and I don’t believe in canonizing the dead…besides, he’d hate that. He liked being who he was, angry…fearlessly opinionated. When Bill said he hated something, he did. It was never an act.

        But there was that sweet, southern side that could charm the pants off of any girl…me being one of many.


  2. micklively says:

    I can’t imagine it was pleasant to be on the wrong end of his wit. But I also think those he picked on deserved every bit of it. He was quite a guy and the world is impoverished without him.


    • It’s as if he’s still here though. I’m always amazed when someone will say they’re a huge Bill Hicks fan quite often not even being born yet when he was ranting and raving.

      You Google him and like Elvis, he jumps off the page ageless. He left a mark alright.


      • micklively says:

        It’s amazing he has managed to be so timeless. So much of his comedy was (apparently) topical. I guess that just says that the things that so incensed him (and me) are still with us.


      • Everything is old is new again…ever heard that song? Peter Allen used to sing it. I remember how Bill was always compared to Denis Leary, something I never quite got. Was like comparing coutour to a crummy knock-off, and that’s not to say Denis wasn’t funny in his own right, but his comedy was an act. He’d make fun of St. Jude’s kid’s hospital for instance, but you know he didn’t mean it. When Bill raged across the stage saying Whoopie Goldberg was a myth and Bill Joe Cyrus should burn in hell, he meant it. There was no artifice there.


  3. noisynoodle says:

    I’m always astounded to hear how young Bill was. Luckily he started working young so that we were able to relive some of his amazing work before his passing. He made such an impact across the world and still connects with people today as his message was so abrupt and honest. Thanks for your honest perspective, and for helping us to remember him on what would have been his birthday.


    • Thank you so much for writing…means the world to me that he’s still remembered and appreciated. He was concerned he would fall through the ethers. His dearest friend Kevin Booth, who did all of his albums and music, told me this.

      Forgotten? He’s more popular now that ever. Thank you, really.

      Liked by 1 person

      • noisynoodle says:

        And… today he is considered among the greatest comedians of all time! I wish I had gotten to the Melbourne Comedy Festival in ’93 to see him perform, but alas I was young then and only got there the year after 😦


      • We’re lucky to have so much to watch of him on You Tube…the film, It’s Just A Ride. Have you read the essay John Lahr wrote about him in The New Yorker maybe a year before he died? A great read.


  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    I, too, spent my teens through 30s worrying about how I was perceived. Mainly if people thought I was sexy or attractive. If only I could have had the laid back, ‘whatever’ attitude that took maturity to gain.
    I’ve found that when someone is a major force in your life, they might pass away, but they never fade away.


  5. katecrimmins says:

    My 85 year old sister-in-law once said that she wished she could get back all the time she wasted on worrying about how she looked and whether men found her attractive. She said it was the worst time suck ever. I love your tributes to Bill. Every time you write one you introduce us to a new part of him.


  6. AF says:

    Just beautiful. He would have loved it.


  7. mattdundas says:

    Great piece!


  8. That’s beautiful, Susannah. What a great tribute to him.
    I smiled a little when I read your sentence, “your ego is your own worst enemy and how it wildly, wastes your time.” I feel this way about high school and how I wasted so much time and energy pining after girls and being depressed when they didn’t like me back. It would be nice if we could go back in time and give our younger selves some perspective.


    • I said earlier how egos are expensive…they taunt and chide into thinking so much is beneath us. At my age, my humility rules.

      Thanks for reading. I’m so pleased it was read by so many. Bill is still such a force of nature, even if we can’t see him…I can attest to the fact, he is very much around 🙂


  9. This is a beautiful post, Susannah. Each year, when I read on Bill’s birthday, my heart breaks for you. For, in loving truly, we lose a part of our own heart, and we never retrieve it. I know a part of your heart is in heaven with Bill and years don’t lessen the loss. My thoughts are with you. I am so glad that you experienced that true, eternal bond that only a true love can give. I hope you have a day and week filled with sweet memories and smiles that appear out of nowhere. ❤


    • Such kind words, thank you. I can think of him now without that wincing pain, but it took a long time. It was the first essay where I included a picture, only because I couldn’t bear to look at that face the pain being too great. Time is the all time healer because I really enjoyed perusing all the photos of him on Google Images. Most I had never seen before. It was really great to see that smirk again.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. 53 years young! Cheers to Bill for being such a wonderful and important part of your life, because we are all reaping the benefits … he’s still giving.


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