There’s A Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On

My heat is off.

I’m here wrapped in a blanket with sweats over my pajamas.

I look like Geronimo about to run track.

We’ve been actually lucky lately, the boiler holding its own. But like anything old and weary, it just can’t help itself when it finally lets off steam, no pun intended.

I hate being cold. I can deal with heat and humidity like a lizard much better than shaking in my Uggs.

After cremating my relationship with my neighbor Trudy, I really have no recourse but to stay here and burrow beneath as many coats and covers I can come up with.

I texted the new building manager who has yet to get back to me.

Georgio doesn’t quite get he might be summoned by police because one of his tenants is freeze dried like a raisin while he’s nice and toasty at his condo in Westchester.

I of course am the representative of the building for no other reason than I’M FUCKING FREEZING.

I never fully understand the complacency of others. The girl next door who used to have loud sex and has recently moved, would just sleep in 6 coats without even as much as a whimper though paying a high rent.

I’d yell at her, “Stefanie, call the fucking landlord…complain…we pay rent…heat is in our lease goddammit.”

She’d look at me sheepishly and say,”Oh, I don’t want to cause problems. It’il be spring before we know it.”

This is when I’d crack open the nearest beer.

What are people so afraid of? We have rights. This isn’t Appalachia. We’re not coal miners without a union.

We’re New Yorkers with mace and rent stabilized apartments.

My typing I will say, had to be edited because my fingers though wrapped in fingerless gloves, have been slightly hindered my vowels veering to the left.

But like a dog with a bone, I stayed on Georgio who promised the boiler men were en route.

And yeah, I’ve heard that one before, just never on New Year’s Eve.




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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31 Responses to There’s A Whole Lotta Shakin Goin On

  1. Of course it has to be on the coldest day in weeks…WTF is with these sheep we are surrounded by these days? Can you tell I’m still stuck on Jackie’s insistence on walking behind that casket without any intention on caving to another suggestion?
    Georgio has no idea what he is about to endure if Ms. Susannah is not toasty very soon. You know you are always welcome here … Peanut would have no problem keeping you warm!


    • I’m getting my baguette ready to slam old Georgio over the head.

      RE Jackie: did I mention they really were flipped out over LBJ walking who also insisted? You had to ask yourself, you let JFK overrule you when he said, no bubble top on my limo…I want them to be able to see me…so it all seemed a little too late if you asked me. Now the president has no say when it comes to security. Can you imagine Obama in an open car? OMG.


  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    I hope you have a gas stove, Susannah. Excellent source of heat in a pinch. A few times too many, while still single, I ran out of fuel after not paying my bill. I recall the knee socks over long-johns, under sweat pants with multiple sweat shirts.
    Hopefully, your help is on their way and you’re all toasty before you know it.


  3. katecrimmins says:

    Isn’t it funny how nothing else matters when you are cold? Long ago I worked at a business housed in an old building. The heat was always shut down for the weekend and occasionally it didn’t come back up on Monday. I would be sitting in my coat with gloves and all I could do was grumble. I can work when I’m hot but I can’t when I’m cold. I am too busy shivering.


  4. oh my word! If you were closer, I would come get you, bring you here and warm you up with a nice fire, a hot drink(I make a mean hot buttered rum) and lots of laughter. Hope it gets better. DAF


  5. Oh my word! I am so sorry. If you were closer, I would come get you, bring you here, warm you up with a nice fire in the fireplace, a warm blanket, a hot drink(I make a mean hot buttered rum), and lots of laughter. Hope it gets fixed soon. DAF


  6. Elle Knowles says:

    I remember when my girls were young. We lived in Louisiana, nine miles from town, out in the woods. Every time a bird lit on the line the electricity went out! – Or so it seemed. 😦 Being in the city with consistent heat and air is quite nice. Now if I had a boiler like you – that would probably be a different story! Glad it’s back on and stay warm! Hope you have a Happy Happy New Year!


  7. My poor dear. What a way to ring in the new year. I don’t mind cold weather but I HATE being cold inside, so I sympathize. I’d be pretty pissed too if the heat went off in the middle of winter. Here’s hoping and praying they get off their butts and fix it soon. I’ll echo dearanonymousfriend’s comments up there and say that if you were closer, you could stay here for a bit. Our guest room is in the basement, but it’s got to be warmer than no heat.


  8. Patricia says:

    What a bummer. But glad the boiler is working again. No fun to be cold. Be well and Happy New Year


  9. Patricia says:

    Teddy says if he was there he would share his heat with you.


  10. micklively says:

    24/7 callout costs big and makes holes in profit margins. Make his life a misery: it’s the only way. πŸ˜‰


  11. Pingback: Small…Cold…Spaces | Finding Myself Through Writing

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