It even beat out Lucy.
It’s not as if there’s anything special about it. Like the song says…birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it...so go figure.
Just this morning I caught two squirrels going at it like they were at Plato’s Retreat while a third one watched. Honestly, how mundane can you get. Isn’t there a tree where they can do it in private? Sex, it’s all anyone thinks about, even nature.
Carmela the basset is in heat living up to her name as a hound. I keep mentioning to her parents perhaps they should do something about it, but they smile as though her desire to hump anything that moves is so charming. If she gets pregnant then they’ll be sorry with little bassets running around. And let us not forget she’s not too particular, so Carm’s offspring could resemble four-legged sumo wrestlers.
But I’m just the designated aunt, what do I know?
I’m even haunted at home…the couple upstairs always necking in the hall. I half expect to find them naked one day screwing over the railing.
They asked me if I had ever seen Last Tango In Paris. Of course I have, it was a rite of passage, but I was 30 and seeing Marlon Brando’s ass, at the time, was a really big deal. Now it would only nauseate me…mooning being my least favorite sport.
It was suggested I start online dating, so I could write about it. I pay bills online, blog and shop at J Crew, that’s enough.
I guess you really know who you are when you’d rather read than gaze through a peephole, but that’s just me.
Cold Cape Cod clams ‘gainst their will, do it
Even lazy jellyfish do it…electric eels and goldfish in the privacy of their own bowl do it.
Even mos-quit-tos, heaven forbid, do it….
and you know the couple upstairs do it….
What more can I say?
Lyrics: Let’s Fall in Love, Cole Porter.