Sex One More Time

images-1 Why is sex so popular? Of all my essays last week, Sex On A Bike went platinum.

It even beat out Lucy.

It’s not as if there’s anything special about it. Like the song says…birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it...so go figure.

Just this morning I caught two squirrels going at it like they were at Plato’s Retreat while a third one watched. Honestly, how mundane can you get. Isn’t there a tree where they can do it in private? Sex, it’s all anyone thinks about, even nature.

Carmela the basset is in heat living up to her name as a hound. I keep mentioning to her parents perhaps they should do something about it, but they smile as though her desire to hump anything that moves is so charming. If she gets pregnant then they’ll be sorry with little bassets running around. And let us not forget she’s not too particular, so Carm’s offspring could resemble four-legged sumo wrestlers.

But I’m just the designated aunt, what do I know?

I’m even haunted at home…the couple upstairs always necking in the hall. I half expect to find them naked one day screwing over the railing.

They asked me if I had ever seen Last Tango In Paris. Of course I have, it was a rite of passage, but I was 30 and seeing Marlon Brando’s ass, at the time, was a really big deal. Now it would only nauseate me…mooning being my least favorite sport.

It was suggested I start online dating, so I could write about it. I pay bills online, blog and shop at J Crew, that’s enough.

I guess you really know who you are when you’d rather read than gaze through a peephole, but that’s just me.

Cold Cape Cod clams ‘gainst their will, do it

Even lazy jellyfish do it…electric eels and goldfish in the privacy of their own bowl do it.

Even mos-quit-tos, heaven forbid, do it….

and you know the couple upstairs do it….

What more can I say?

SB

Lyrics: Let’s Fall in Love, Cole Porter.

 

 

 

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, humor, music, New York City, sex and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Sex One More Time

  1. micklively says:

    Sex is life and life is sex. It’s how we’re here; it’s why we’re here. Connecticut mores may say it should be a secret but, if so, it is a spectacularly badly kept one.
    Love the lyrics!

    Like

  2. I guess that’s the ticket to success, then, put “sex” in all your post titles. I like how you tagged this one too. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  3. Jellyfish do it โ€ฆ.. now I must research the details! As my husband said to me on our first date “sex is natural.” Hahahaโ€ฆ.We were once that couple living upstairs!

    Like

  4. MJ says:

    Speaking of Woody, he may have nailed it when he said sex was the most fun he’d ever had without smiling. And it’s so wonderfully democratic—everybody can do it, even solo.

    Like

  5. Sex is something people talk about long after they stop doing it. It makes you feel young!

    Like

  6. pmahaney says:

    Sex, SEx, SEX! that’s all this blog talks about anymore. LOL But I loved it…still do in fact. he said in hushed tones.

    Like

  7. Wonderful! Great word pictures, I could Cam with a willing boxer, imagine those boxer/basset puppies! Remembered the amorous couple who lived above us when we were newlyweds… thought for certain they would end up in our room sometime with the ceiling not being that sturdy… Great post!

    Like

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