The Basset And The Baby

Oh my!

There’s trouble in Virginia City that looks an awful lot like Brooklyn.

Carmela and her family have houseguests…their son, along with his wife and 6-month old baby girl are visiting from Holland.

Sounds sweet, I know, but what nobody counted on was one jealous basset hound.

If Carmela isn’t careful, she’ll be sent to a kennel for the duration of their stay.  Of course I’d show up in a stretch limo to spring her, but hopefully it won’t be necessary.

After knocking on the door, I was surprised she wasn’t waiting, wiggling in the foyer.  The chef, who last week scolded me for bringing bread, “Dun’t you know, I beeke bread? I am the cheef.” (it only took 8 baguettes for him to tell me)…let me in wearing a very grim expression.

Carmela, who evidently tried to smack the baby, was locked in the downstairs kitchen.  Her father came running down the stairs (how do you say fatootsed in Spanish) to tell me she’s in the doghouse, his apparent upset translating in 15 languages.  images

We went to get her from the kitchen where she was facing the wall, out of rage more than remorse, never being so severely punished before.

She came to me with a look like…thank God you’re here.  There’s a big toy upstairs they won’t let me play with.  I don’t get it…plus it smells.

Suddenly who makes an appearance but the baby, who I hate to say, is probably the strangest looking baby I’ve ever seen…she’s cross-eyed like Clarence the lion with corkscrew curls that Gerber won’t be using anytime soon on their applesauce jars.

No wonder Carmela wanted to shove her under the couch.

When I pretended to be charmed…coochie-coochie-coo…if looks could kill.

“You too Susannah?”

We then took our much needed walk to everyone’s relief.

When we got to the promenade, I sat Carm down for a good heart-to-heart.  Of course it involved quite a few cookies, but this called for extreme measures.

“Carmela, she’s just a baby…you need to leave her alone, or else.”

“But what’s her problem.  I’m almost her size…why won’t she play?”

“First of all, you make three of her, if you don’t mind me saying, and she’s a baby, not a stuffed cat, which by the way…I saw how you ripped its face off.  What the hell was that about.  I gave that to to you.”

“They don’t make-em like they used to.”

“If you don’t stop misbehaving, they’re going to send you away.”

“So I’ll come live with you.”

“I’m not sure they’d go for that since I’ve often offered to take you for the weekend.  In spite of everything, they love you, but it’s their granddaughter for godssake.”

“And what am I, chopped liver?”

“I’m warning you Tubes…get it together.  Look, how bout if I come twice this week and next, while they’re here.  Would that make you feel better?”

“Do ya know what would make me feel better? Got anymore a’ those Parmesan numbers….the round ones with the holes in the middle?”

So after Carmela gained six more pounds, we went back to the house where tea was being served.  They let me bring her into the parlor where we sat sipping on the floor.  The baby was very excited to see her, so I know, there’s a possibility of a ceasefire. get-attachment-29

Carmela, ignoring her whispered,  “Okay, I’ll behave, but she still smells.”





About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Home, humor, kids and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to The Basset And The Baby

  1. micklively says:

    Jealous bitches are a problem. There are two, at home, competing for my attention. A gentle warning shot for a dog is a nasty scratch for you or I and a wound for a baby. I hope Carmela gets used to her house guest very soon.


    • She’s not a happy pooch. They really fuss over the baby when before it was only her. Poor girl. She was funny though. She wouldn’t get out of my lap at one point. When I tried to push her off she began whimpering. Oh my…my heart went. So I stayed a little longer not in the best of moods myself.


  2. Tell Carmella to call Peanut, he’ll fill her in all about what to do. Ever since Landon got here Peanut sucks up to everyone who comes through the door, making everyone love him more than Landon. Who knows what goes down when we leave for work, but I’m sure it involves duct tape and bright lights.


  3. Elle Knowles says:

    Dogs and babies don’t always mix. They are a little like oil and water. Carmela probably wasn’t prepared for the intrusion and babies – like dogs – see everything as a play toy, pulling ears and tails, and Carmela has the ears for it doesn’t she? Hope they become best buddies! Then you could walk a dog and a baby. The best of both worlds Susannah! 😉 ~Elle


  4. Is an overnighter with her favorite person out of the question? It would give them a break and you and infusion of energy. Additions to the household (even temporary) are always hard for any pet let alone a beloved, spoiled one. Help her out Susannah!


  5. AF says:



  6. Nevertheless, I think Carmela barked the truth there. As much as I like babies… they do smell.


  7. I love this!! Carmela has a justified gripe here…. Shugo sort of felt the same way when Little Man came down at Christmas… he smells too… Fortunately, Shugo was on his best behavior….


  8. skinnyuz2b says:

    Carmella is simply acting the way any older sibling would that suddenly discovers she is no longer an only child.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.