Not to be terribly self-deprecating, but I’m not at my gorgeous best first thing in the morning. I’m clean, that’s about the most I can say.
So to have a man flirt with me while I’m ordering a bagel made me take pause wondering what he was so enamored with – couldn’t be my old ripped yoga pants and hoodie that makes me look like Richard the Lionhearted. I’m also wearing big black glasses, so I look as if I could do your taxes. Hmm, maybe that was it.
He was cute…tall, blonde, in chinos and nice shoes. Shoes tell a lot about a person. If they’re polished, a sign of self-esteem – slick and new, monied or in credit card debt. But this guy liked himself alright by the looks of his attire not to mention sass since he was grinning and cooing like a dolphin – opening line…
“How do you maintain that slimness eating all that starch?”
After turning around to see if he was speaking to someone else I said, “It’s a bagel, not a baguette, and it’s 6 in the morning. I have all day to burn it up.”
Why I felt the need to explain is a mystery, but I imagine I was flirting too…just without powder and gloss.
Audrey behind the register said, “Our bagels are only 290 calories…with no butta of course.”
Then she added, “Susannah here (now he knows my name) loves butta. Her bagel I’m sure is a 1000 calories, and don’t farget the honey.”
Thank you Audrey, my gluttony is now public not to mention feeling I’m in an infomercial.
“Why don’t you get oatmeal with that honey, or yogurt and fruit?” said Mr. Chino with a wink. “It’s so much better for that slim body of yours.” It’s because they cost triple what a bagel costs, but kept that to myself.
“I run after this, so that would be just too heavy a meal.” Meanwhile the natives behind us were getting restless so I went on my merry way.
Suddenly I hear, “Mind if I sit with you?”
And I said in the most charming manner, ‘”Yes.”
I know what you’re thinking.
Why didn’t I jump at the chance for a little male companionship? He was 12…alright 20…and young men and their brandished bravado bore me. I prefer a man who has sailed the 7 seas, you know, like Sinbad who would never suggest oatmeal, unless of course it came on the rocks…matey.