6 A.M. Pick-Up

Not to be terribly self-deprecating, but I’m not at my gorgeous best first thing in the morning. I’m clean, that’s about the most I can say.

So to have a man flirt with me while I’m ordering a bagel made me take pause wondering what he was so enamored with – couldn’t be my old ripped yoga pants and hoodie that makes me look like Richard the Lionhearted.  I’m also wearing big black glasses, so I look as if I could do your taxes.  Hmm, maybe that was it.

He was cute…tall, blonde, in chinos and nice shoes. Shoes tell a lot about a person.  If they’re polished, a sign of self-esteem – slick and new, monied or in credit card debt.  But this guy liked himself alright by the looks of his attire not to mention sass since he was grinning and cooing like a dolphin – opening line…

“How do you maintain that slimness eating all that starch?”

After turning around to see if he was speaking to someone else I said, “It’s a bagel, not a baguette, and it’s 6 in the morning. I have all day to burn it up.”

Why I felt the need to explain is a mystery, but I imagine I was flirting too…just without powder and gloss.

Audrey behind the register said, “Our bagels are only 290 calories…with no butta of course.”

Then she added, “Susannah here (now he knows my name) loves butta. Her bagel I’m sure is a 1000 calories, and don’t farget the honey.”

Thank you Audrey, my gluttony is now public not to mention feeling I’m in an infomercial.

“Why don’t you get oatmeal with that honey, or yogurt and fruit?” said Mr. Chino with a wink.  “It’s so much better for that slim body of yours.” It’s because they cost triple what a bagel costs, but kept that to myself.

“I run after this, so that would be just too heavy a meal.” Meanwhile the natives behind us were getting restless so I went on my merry way.

Suddenly I hear, “Mind if I sit with you?”

And I said in the most charming manner, ‘”Yes.”

I know what you’re thinking.

Why didn’t I jump at the chance for a little male companionship? He was 12…alright 20…and young men and their brandished bravado bore me. I prefer a man who has sailed the 7 seas, you know, like Sinbad who would never suggest oatmeal, unless of course it came on the rocks…matey.

Ho-hum.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Fashion, food, humor, New York City, Women and men and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to 6 A.M. Pick-Up

  1. My dad always taught us to look at a mans shoes. “If they can’t take care of their shoes they’re not gonna take care of you.”
    Sounds like someone was all up in your biz…jeez it was early for those questions. But I bet you still look gorgeous in running clothes.
    Couldn’t agree with you more about older men! I’m not in to having to tell anyone what to do… time served thank yo very much.

    Like

  2. Elle Knowles says:

    Right you are matey! No sense in robbing the cradle. And that was my first thought! 😉 I’d be flattered though, especially at 6 in the AM. ~Elle

    Like

  3. Rubenstein, Hal says:

    Cute story, hope you’re doing better !
    Hal

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  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Such a hard choice when you see the candy there for the taking, but know it will rot your teeth!

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  5. micklively says:

    Ahoy me hearty! Ship’s biscuits sans oats, washed down with a tot of grog. Splice the mainbrace and shiver me timbers. No ropes on a boat: only sheets, lines and painters (oh and pedants). Glad you’ve found your sea-legs at last. Pass that marlinspike, please.

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  6. Lynn says:

    I have not doubt your deliciously clean self looked adorable in your glasses & sweats! Good company is not with someone who feels the need to tell you what to eat at the intro! Move along little man, you & your shiny shoes!

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    • Sounds like the start of a good, juicy essay. I relish that early hour that’s quiet and all mine. I’m not sure George Clooney would be welcome at my table – well, let me think about that again 🙂

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  7. Personally, I would have ordered a second bagel and shoved it in my mouth… I can tell you, having lived with a man who HAS sailed the 7 seas a couple of times, and keeps his shoes spit polished…. there is nothing like it! 😉

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  8. I think I’m in trouble. Gonna have to throw out my smelly tattered high top Keds, and wave bye-bye to my Mc-Breakfast! ;o(

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  9. Loretta says:

    What a hoot!! It would have been interesting to see what would have transpired had you said “yes”…the mind boggles eh!!! A compliment without gloss and make-up? Damn!!!! I’d have slurped it all up 🙂

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  10. He had too many opinions so early on for my taste. Last thing you need is advice on what to eat from someone half your age. Needy is right!

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  11. In my mind, mentioning a woman’s figure, good or bad, or what she eats is an unpardonable sin, whether she’s a stranger or my wife. I don’t where he thought he was going with talk like that. I’m glad you shut him down.

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    • He was young and sassy, sass he thought was charm. I am very sensitive about my body because I’m very thin. Loathe when people make remarks. He was at least complimentary, not like my choice of breakfast foods. All in a day David, all in a day.

      Like

  12. Kate Loveton says:

    Another amusing post from you. I like your humorous take on things.

    Like

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