Not to be terribly self-deprecating, but I’m not at my gorgeous best first thing in the morning. I’m clean, that’s about the most I can say.
So to have a man flirt with me while I’m ordering a bagel made me take pause wondering what he was so enamored with – couldn’t be my old ripped yoga pants and hoodie that makes me look like Richard the Lionhearted. I’m also wearing big black glasses, so I look as if I could do your taxes. Hmm, maybe that was it.
He was cute…tall, blonde, in chinos and nice shoes. Shoes tell a lot about a person. If they’re polished, a sign of self-esteem – slick and new, monied or in credit card debt. But this guy liked himself alright by the looks of his attire not to mention sass since he was grinning and cooing like a dolphin – opening line…
“How do you maintain that slimness eating all that starch?”
After turning around to see if he was speaking to someone else I said, “It’s a bagel, not a baguette, and it’s 6 in the morning. I have all day to burn it up.”
Why I felt the need to explain is a mystery, but I imagine I was flirting too…just without powder and gloss.
Audrey behind the register said, “Our bagels are only 290 calories…with no butta of course.”
Then she added, “Susannah here (now he knows my name) loves butta. Her bagel I’m sure is a 1000 calories, and don’t farget the honey.”
Thank you Audrey, my gluttony is now public not to mention feeling I’m in an infomercial.
“Why don’t you get oatmeal with that honey, or yogurt and fruit?” said Mr. Chino with a wink. “It’s so much better for that slim body of yours.” It’s because they cost triple what a bagel costs, but kept that to myself.
“I run after this, so that would be just too heavy a meal.” Meanwhile the natives behind us were getting restless so I went on my merry way.
Suddenly I hear, “Mind if I sit with you?”
And I said in the most charming manner, ‘”Yes.”
I know what you’re thinking.
Why didn’t I jump at the chance for a little male companionship? He was 12…alright 20…and young men and their brandished bravado bore me. I prefer a man who has sailed the 7 seas, you know, like Sinbad who would never suggest oatmeal, unless of course it came on the rocks…matey.
Ho-hum.
SB
My dad always taught us to look at a mans shoes. “If they can’t take care of their shoes they’re not gonna take care of you.”
Sounds like someone was all up in your biz…jeez it was early for those questions. But I bet you still look gorgeous in running clothes.
Couldn’t agree with you more about older men! I’m not in to having to tell anyone what to do… time served thank yo very much.
LikeLike
Young men are very needy. You can’t just put them in corner with a coloring book, although…not a bad idea. Love what your dad said.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He said that when men wore shoes every day, not sneakers.
LikeLike
Thanks Dad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right you are matey! No sense in robbing the cradle. And that was my first thought! 😉 I’d be flattered though, especially at 6 in the AM. ~Elle
LikeLike
If you saw what I looked like – one step from one of the boat people. Men, even infants, you just never know what turns them on.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cute story, hope you’re doing better !
Hal
LikeLike
Thanks. It’s warmer, so that’s a start.
LikeLike
Such a hard choice when you see the candy there for the taking, but know it will rot your teeth!
LikeLike
Great metaphor Skinny 🙂
LikeLike
Ahoy me hearty! Ship’s biscuits sans oats, washed down with a tot of grog. Splice the mainbrace and shiver me timbers. No ropes on a boat: only sheets, lines and painters (oh and pedants). Glad you’ve found your sea-legs at last. Pass that marlinspike, please.
LikeLike
I love the word grog. Anything nautical turns my head…shivers my timbers if you will.
LikeLike
I haven’t the bank balance to run with the salty elite. If I buy a dinghy will you hold my tiller?
LikeLike
I don’t know what to say to that. It stopped me in my tracks.
LikeLike
I have not doubt your deliciously clean self looked adorable in your glasses & sweats! Good company is not with someone who feels the need to tell you what to eat at the intro! Move along little man, you & your shiny shoes!
LikeLike
Sounds like the start of a good, juicy essay. I relish that early hour that’s quiet and all mine. I’m not sure George Clooney would be welcome at my table – well, let me think about that again 🙂
LikeLike
Personally, I would have ordered a second bagel and shoved it in my mouth… I can tell you, having lived with a man who HAS sailed the 7 seas a couple of times, and keeps his shoes spit polished…. there is nothing like it! 😉
LikeLike
I just had an image of him bouncing a coin off a well made cot 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
hey, that was my life when I was first married and softened him up a bit.. I now make a well made bed, fold clothes to regulation and man, can I pack a sea bag!!
LikeLike
You’re very funny. And I’ll bet being married to Popeye has been really great 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s had it’s moments… 😉
LikeLike
I’ll bet 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think I’m in trouble. Gonna have to throw out my smelly tattered high top Keds, and wave bye-bye to my Mc-Breakfast! ;o(
LikeLike
Beware, could work both ways. Some tiny hiney could be behind you, no pun intended, giving you the once over.
LikeLike
LOL morning Susannah, whoops afternoon! :o)
LikeLike
To you as well Mr. Cluttered.
LikeLike
Oh your sharp today!
LikeLike
It’s an accident.
LikeLike
I sincerely doubt that. :o)
LikeLike
LOL
LikeLike
What a hoot!! It would have been interesting to see what would have transpired had you said “yes”…the mind boggles eh!!! A compliment without gloss and make-up? Damn!!!! I’d have slurped it all up 🙂
LikeLike
All I wanted was coffee and butta…did I want to slam her who I happen to like. When I got up to leave the fetus hollered, “Have a good day Susannah.” UGH
LikeLike
He had too many opinions so early on for my taste. Last thing you need is advice on what to eat from someone half your age. Needy is right!
LikeLike
That’s right. Now if he had suggested chocolate I might have been interested. Kidding.
LikeLike
He could have treated you to breakfast if he was interested! With chocolate of course!
LikeLike
That’s where his youth came in. If he really wanted to get to know me he should have picked up my 3 dollars and 9 cents. I would have had to sit with him of course…you’ve heard of no free lunches? Apparently there are no free breakfasts either. LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
In my mind, mentioning a woman’s figure, good or bad, or what she eats is an unpardonable sin, whether she’s a stranger or my wife. I don’t where he thought he was going with talk like that. I’m glad you shut him down.
LikeLike
He was young and sassy, sass he thought was charm. I am very sensitive about my body because I’m very thin. Loathe when people make remarks. He was at least complimentary, not like my choice of breakfast foods. All in a day David, all in a day.
LikeLike
Another amusing post from you. I like your humorous take on things.
LikeLike
I appreciate that since, come to find out, I’m not for everybody.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Really? I love what I’ve read so far!
LikeLike
Thanks. You’re kind to say.
LikeLiked by 1 person