Father And Son

I was in a cafe putting honey in my tea observing a young dad and his four, perhaps five year-old son perched on stools drinking hot chocolate.

The kid says, “Dad, how come mom never lets me have cocoa in the morning like you do?”

“I only see you once a week so I try to make it special for you.”

My heart (and post needs) pinched urging me to stall and eavesdrop further.

“Why don’t you like mom anymore?”

“I love mom, but we fight too much Kenny and it’s better, at least for now, that I’m not there.”

I have such mixed feelings about children and divorce, or in this case, separation.  Is it better to fight in front of your kids putting them through all that drama, just so they have parents under the same roof, or is what this guy said healthier?

I had prizefighters for parents swinging at each other well into the night, so for me, when they finally split it was for the better.  At least I got some sleep.  But if you saw the pleading look on Kenny’s face, you’d think otherwise.

“Dad, I won’t tell mom about the cocoa cause, she’ll go nuts.”

“Yeah Kenny, that’s probably a good idea since we know what happens when she gets mad.”

“Is your arm all better?”

“Almost. It hurts sometimes, when I sleep.”

“I’m sorry dad.”

“It’s okay.  I’m just so happy to see you.”

They hugged, and I knew it was time to leave when tears started spilling into my heavily honeyed tea.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Family, food, Home, kids, Love, New York City, Women and men and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Father And Son

  1. A pleasure to meet you Susannah. Congratulations on your blog. Hope to be reading more from you.


  2. micklively says:

    If they don’t love each other any more, not fighting can be worse than fighting. Sticking together for the sake of the kids builds resentment all round. There is no “one size fits all” answer. Maybe no answer fits anywhere.
    Good post Susannah.


    • Maybe they do love each other but life interfered. We don’t know enough. She came off bad, no question, but Mick, we need more facts. I also believe the absence of love is a deal breaker, I mean, what’s the point.


      • micklively says:

        What indeed? You’re right: it is easy to jump to conclusions on the flimsiest of evidence. We’re merrily castigating a German co-pilot presently, because it seems no-one can wait for a proper investigation to conclude. What’s the rush?


      • I just read that. It’s tragic enough.


  3. I think I would have had to call a plumber if it were me. Heartbreaking.


  4. So sad, especially that the child had to see it. Poor you too!


  5. Elle Knowles says:

    So sad for little kids to go through. It seems marriages are now disposable instead of permanent as they were long ago. No one wants to put forth the effort. If it’s not working though, it’s probably for the best. ~Elle


  6. It breaks my heart when you witness this. Kids are a precious commodity, and yet, they sometimes get the raw end of the deal. I watch my daughter deal with her step daughter and my heart is torn in two to see what this child goes through being shuffled from one house to the other. Wonderful post, as always. I love your eye in seeing the human side of our lives. It’s painful at times and at others you see the true good in people. You are truly one of my favorite writers.


  7. skinnyuz2b says:

    It’s the children that suffer whether they stay together and fight, or separate. They just aren’t able to understand.


  8. Children love to tell it like it is, which is why I love listening to them being wise beyond their years. I don’t know if it’s better or worse to leave or stay, but I do know if you don’t put the children ahead of yourself it will not be good. Great post!


  9. It’s so sad to think of a young child having such an adult conversation. The child is being pulled into something he can’t fix. Sometimes, I wonder if the separated or divorce parents realize how much information is being unloaded on their innocent child/children. For sure, life is complicated. Good write ..!!! 😎


    • It sure makes you grow up quicker than if you weren’t privy to the problems of your parents. You always want to fix it hoping they’ll play nice. And you said it w ell…life is complicated. Thank you.


  10. Creatopath says:

    That’s so sad but lovely that the dad and his son have such a great relationship.


  11. This is a masterful essay, Susannah, right to the very last sentence. Seriously, it sounds like the premise for a great book. You blew me away with this one. 🙂


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