Sorrow In The City

They’re giving away Carmela, and sadly, not to me.

For those of you who don’t know, Carmela is a basset hound I’ve been walking and loving for well over a year.  To say she’s the light in my life is putting it casually.

She’s been acting out for the past month because of the baby visiting from Holland who’s got everyone’s undivided attention.

First of all, she’s not fixed so right there she’s hormonally hysterical.  Try remembering when you were bursting into puberty.  You’d hump a pillow and spend an awful lot of time in your room with a sign on the door…I’d knock if I were you.

I’ve gone to see her in Brooklyn faithfully every week since the beginning of the year when they moved from my neighborhood.  When I say it’s the highlight of my week, I’m not kidding often writing about it.

When they first told me she ate a chair and the landlord now wants three thousand more dollars as security my first instinct was to say, “I’ll take her,” knowing OMG, this will turn my already chaotic, unsteady life up about 50 notches.

The father, who I’ve always liked, said he would make my proposal to his wife when she returns from Rome.  I had said my one fear was money and without any hesitation said, “We will take care of that and have her fixed.”  I said I’d keep her until they went home to Argentina for good in November, not the best thing for me since in 6 months I’d be even more attached, but it was a way to help my girl who stood next to me like I was her lawyer.

Animals mean the world to whomever has them usually, and they have had her for two years.  They’re a family with means…the mere idea they will just give her up takes my breath away.

The next time I went the son, the baby’s father, said they decided I wasn’t the best choice.  They want her to be with a family.  I think the mother came home and said, pay her?  I don’t think so.  Not the most generous people they are, and it was going to be for food and the vet, God forbid she needed one.  I wasn’t asking for a salary.

The son was kind, promised until they found the best place she would stay where she was.  He hugged me warmly when I started to cry.

My heart has been broken so many times in my life it’s held together by epoxy.  But in all my years, it has never been broken quite like this.  I feel gutted like a trout, sliced down the middle.

I’ll admit, I felt nervous taking her, but when I saw her eyes after she licked my face hello I said…that’s it, I’m bringing her home, just to be told the offer is now off the table.

I have so much going on right now: health issues, money problems, but they don’t come close to losing Carmela.  November was far away and I know better than anyone, things change and nothing ever arrives or departs quite the way we imagine, but this was unforeseen.  I knew eventually we would part but I’m simply not ready.

Our animals deserve our love and loyalty, and if they screw up we need to help, not make it worse by abandoning them.

I believe if she was fixed she’d calm down and all she’s asking for anyway, is a little love, like all of us.

The baby leaves at the end of the month, and what I wanted to scream to these people is, she’s trying to get your attention.  You’re ignoring her because of the baby…this is why she’s snacking on furniture.

You don’t have to be the Dog Whisperer to get this.

And to her credit, she did get it, but now banished to God knows where.

I am very sad over this.

My poor, dearest girl.              getPart


About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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28 Responses to Sorrow In The City

  1. micklively says:

    That’s terrible news, Susannah.
    I can’t imagine ever considering parting with either of our two. It would be like banishing a family member. Clearly, Carmella’s parents have a very different mindset to me.


  2. Lisa says:

    Awww I’m sorry to hear that. I know how it feels to love an animal so much and have it taken away. My parents did that to me as a kid when they choose to take in too many cats, on more than one occasion. Makes me wish people understood and loved animals more cause its always the ones that don’t seem to understand or care about the responsibility of pets and then they make the decisions for the whole household. Anyway I’m rambling. Will you be able to see her anymore or has she already gone?


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Oh, Susannah, this is horrible news. I’m so sorry for you. Some people should not be allowed to have animals. And to think that her problem could be so easily ‘fixed’. If they truly cared for Carmella, then they would have given her to the person who has shown how much she is loved – you! Do you think the mother is perhaps jealous of the affection Carmella show to you?


    • I want to answer all these comments but they’re making me cry. Perfect strangers who have never met her are upset. Breaks my heart. I had to work today and cried on the train coming home. I just wasn’t expecting this. It’s really thrown me.


  4. Elle Knowles says:

    What’s wrong with those people? They throw Carmela out there like bait and when they catch you as they have they throw you back out saying NO. You aren’t what we want.
    You are right about how hard it would be in November to give her up again. If that would even be the case. So sorry this has happened Susannah. ~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Bless The Beasts And The Children”

    Bless the beasts and the children
    For in this world they have no voice
    They have no choice

    Bless the beasts and the children
    For the world can never be
    The world they see

    Light their way when the darkness surrounds them
    And give them love, let it shine all around them

    Bless the beasts and the children
    Give them shelter from the storm
    Keep them safe, keep them warm

    Light their way when the darkness surrounds them
    And give them love, let it shine all around them

    Bless the beasts and the children
    Give them shelter from the storm
    Keep them safe, keep them warm – The Carpenters. I’m truly sorry for the both of you. I know you don’t remember me from high school – I wouldn’t expect you to remember the girl I knew as warm and kind. I don’t want to “creep you out”, i’m a stranger to you, but when you write “My heart has been broken so many times in my life it’s held together by epoxy” it bothers me. You deserve so much better.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t know why they didn’t give her to you for the duration of the “baby visit.” That’s the first thing that popped out. Perhaps they are not as attached to her as you are. I am sooooo sorry. I don’t know how you give up a pet. I couldn’t do it.


  7. Lynn says:

    Susannah, my heart breaks for you & for Carmela. I know how much she means to you & the love she feels for you. What I don’t understand is the mindset of her owners. Would it not be in Carmela’s best interest to place her in your care? Someone she knows & she loves? I don’t get it Susannah.


    • No one with a heart gets it. NO ONE. I blame the mother. She’s the big cheese…the earner. And frankly, I think it’s killing her husband. A man’s masculinity shouldn’t be tampered with. He can’t work here for whatever reason. And he does love the dog. I saw how happy he was when I said I’d take her, my heart pounding. But she came home and said no. I’m certain of it.


      • Lynn says:

        Is there any chance of you having a one on one conversation with the mother? A chance to try once more to convince her that the best option for Carmela is to leave her in your care? OR….just kidnap her. Take her to a friends’ house or ship her up here to Canada until they leave the country! Assholes….


      • I just keep praying about it. The mother is tough. Thanks you Lynn.


  8. MJ says:

    I’m stunned, Susannah, and my heart is aching for you. A dog who’s accustomed to being with adults is not “better off with a family”! That’s a facetious excuse, and seems less inspired by Carmela’s welfare than a determination to re-coup at least some of what she’s cost. Sadly, so many affluent people behave that way as a matter of principle, no matter what’s at stake. This turn of events seems precipitous, though, and may not play out into the worst possible scenario. I would would brace myself for that, but wouldn’t, couldn’t give up hope for a better outcome. Not yet.


  9. I’ve been mulling over this news in hopes I could find some words to make you feel better Susannah, but I seriously doubt anything I could say would help. I feel like you about it. I look at animals as nothing more than babies who never grow up. They look to you for all they receive in life. Whether it’s food, a walk, or a little love and attention, and that’s not much to ask. Like a baby, they cannot always say what’s bothering them, but they say so much more with their eyes and the attention they give us, not to mention love(but I will) that they give back to us. They can tell when were down and need affection. They are always there for us. It truly sounds like this famlies son gets it, and that sadly they do not. I get where the family is concerned, however, I regret their final decision. It really is heartbreaking news about Carmela, and despite your own circumstances, it says a great deal about who you are, and that explains why we all feel the way we do, for you and for her. But I believe you have done all you can, Hopefully, whoever receives her will be kind and understanding. keep you chin up kiddo! :O)


    • You know, they never trained her. They never walked her. The maids did. They made her get used to doing her business in the yard. She’s such a smart puppy, she would have been so easy to train. I taught her to sit, and not grab when she gets a cookie. She’d almost take your hand off. The vet told them, fix her…and they still haven’t. I’m trying not to act out at them because then we’re finished. I appreciate all you wrote.


  10. ………. I just can’t.


  11. I’m so sorry to hear that Susannah. More in my email…


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