I’d Duck If I Were You

As I was running around Harlem while a bike race was going on, I see a duckling with her beau contemplating crossing the street.  images-4 Not a good idea, I think, since those bikers wouldn’t stop for me let alone Jemima Puddle-Duck.

The male was quacking and if I were to interpret he was cautioning her on crossing.  “What are you fucking nuts…I said I was sorry…come over here before you become instant pate.”

But you know how women are.  When we decide to do something, that’s it.

I watched as she edged her way onto the road, her webbed feet taking tiny steps.

A small fleet of bikes were coming in the distance.  Oh God, please…I’m really not up for this, but to my amazement they somehow missed her as her man stood paralyzed on the curb.

That’s when I got pissed.  “Hey you, yeah I mean you…what kind of boyfriend are you? Grab her by one of those obstinate feathers and get her the hell outta there.”

He still didn’t move.  Was he drunk? I mean come on ducky.

She was now where I was, waddling along as if nothing was awry.

I watched for a spell to see if he’d come join her, but she immediately met some other guy and disappeared into the woods.

Hmm, well what do ya know…who knew she was the Liz Taylor of ducklings and he, Eddie Fisher.   images-6




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in humor, Love, nature, New York City, sexual relationships, Women and men and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to I’d Duck If I Were You

  1. micklively says:

    Only you could imagine ducky film stars Susannah. You should have yelled “orange sauce” to scare him out of his reverie. Nuts (quackers?) but very entertaining.


  2. Hahahaha! I love wondering what animals are saying and love giving them a voice even more.


  3. I think I would still be on the corner.


  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    I love the way you give critters such great personalities, Susannah. We have a few ducks and geese on our pond, and your description of their antics and motivations is dead-on!


  5. Elle Knowles says:

    You can make a funny story out of anything Susannah! What I wouldn’t give for your knack. 😉 ~Elle


  6. Lynn says:

    Ha! Thanks for the morning smiling. Left him at the curb did she? On to a more attentive man!


  7. That made me laugh, Susannah. Maybe people and ducks aren’t that different. You need to write the story from his point of view now. Maybe he thought good riddance to such a suicidally adventurous gal. 🙂


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