Awaiting The Outcome

Anne Lamott said quoting Paul Tillich, the opposite of faith is certainty.  In other words, we always think we know what’s what as if we’re chronically writing a screenplay.

The truth is, we know nothing.

As some of you know, I’ve been down over the prospect of Carmela the basset hound being given away.  Down is an understatement, and it’s not just because I won’t see her anymore.  I’m concerned over her well-being.  What if they’re mean to her.  She’s not very well-trained and what if they haven’t the patience?  What if they hit her or leave her at the pound?  As you can see, I have a serious case of the what ifs.

It occurred to me, I have no idea what will happen just like I didn’t see this situation coming.  Maybe she’ll go to someone like me who will love her so much she’ll become a better dog and a happier one.  I adore her now, but she can be naughty like anyone who was never taught how to behave.

Meanwhile, three weeks after they made this alarming announcement, she is still in residence.

Where does my arrogance stem from thinking I already know the outcome?

In the film Heaven Can Wait an angel, played by Buck Henry, gets reprimanded by his superior (James Mason) for taking the Warren Beatty character out of his body before his  bike accident because he was certain it would be painfully fatal.

“You have to wait for the outcome,” the top angel said, since it wasn’t supposed to be curtains and of course the whole movie is about getting Joe back his body that, come to find out was cremated and no longer optional.

Isak Dinesen in Out of Africa wrote: God made the world round so we couldn’t see too far ahead.

Only God sees around corners, a 12 Step slogan and a favorite of mine I should have tattooed across my chest.

Why can’t I stay peacefully within the parameters of my day being where my feet are?

Does it help anything to expect a gunshot that could be heard around the world?

I think of September 11th and those who got up and went to work that day.  Did they spend their last night on earth worrying and fretting, weeping and writing to all their friends how miserable they were over something that had yet to come to pass?

It’s almost an insult to our creator, whomever he may be whether it’s Jesus, Buddah or Johnny Walker Black to be so sure how things will work out.

We’re saying we know best when we know zip.

I need to remember this every time I slip into hopelessness mode replacing it with grace.

Grace, by the way, is one smart cookie and more than happy to make house calls.

Just dial 1-800 HELP.






About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in animals, Books, Faith, Gratitude, humor, Love, New York City, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Awaiting The Outcome

  1. I am also have a major case of the “what ifs” right now over my employment situation. I want to leave my current negative environment as soon as right this second, but the big ole “what ifs” are holding me back.
    When I say I NEEDED THIS ESSAY TODAY I mean it!


    • The what ifs are a terrible thing to suffer from since you spend your whole day preparing or at least thinking you’re preparing, when you have no clue how anything will be.

      I tried emailing you when the riots broke out but it came back. Wanted to make sure Peanut, I mean you, were okay 🙂


  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    Susannah, what you say makes perfect sense, but of course we humans don’t use perfect sense. I always know what I should logically think or do and can sound like a wise prophet on paper, but practicing that logic is almost impossible. Good luck on banishing the ‘what ifs’. And I’m praying that Carmella’s new owner is a clone of you.


  3. Elle Knowles says:

    Glad you got to see Carmela yesterday and you never know – next time you drop by she may still be there. It’s always easy to tell someone to “pick yourself up and keep moving”. Its harder to practice it when you are hurting inside. You’re doing good! ~Elle


  4. micklively says:

    Werner Heisenberg showed us that uncertainty is fundamental to all matter. Matter is what you’re made of: QED.


    • You know, I don’t know who you think you’re writing to, but it’s not Albert Einstein. In layman’s language please.


      • micklively says:

        In 1927 Heisenberg theorised that it is impossible to know everything about the state of matter. If you know the momentum of a particle, for instance, you can’t know its position as well. This is one of the cornerstones of quantum mechanics: the theory that gave us lasers, CDs, microwave ovens, &c.
        You are made of matter. I’m merely agreeing with you that your future is similarly unknowable, much as old Werner said. You sit well with the standard model. 😉


  5. This is something we all suffer from. We get remorse because it’s dumb to worry about something that may or may not happen but we are not able to stop it. If you find a solution let us all know. In the meantime enjoy Carmela while you can and think that someone who adores dogs will get her.


  6. Acceptance is difficult because we have to tolerate what is, but it doesn’t mean we have to like it Susannah. I think like Kate said, enjoy her now, and hope she finds a loving owner. :O)


  7. Lisa says:

    I remember having the same what ifs when we first got our cat Grey. I wanted to fall in love with him but I was worried about his owner coming back and after 3 weeks she did, I still was heartbroken. Amazingly he was back at our house a week later, so that kind of sealed it as you’re mine and I’m yours. I hope you get something like that, if not with Carmela then with another loveable creature.


  8. astridswords says:

    Knowing nothing is a wondrous way to start anew. A clean slate open to all there is to learn.


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