Girl Gone

Forgive me for the title, but it’s hard being clever when your heart’s breaking.

Carmela is gone.

I went yesterday like every Wednesday and instead of her wiggling down the stairs to greet me, Erminia the maid came to say, she’s gone…given to a family with three other dogs and that’s all she knows delivered in broken English to match my broken heart.

I have walked this dog faithfully for almost two years…never asking for anything…and I didn’t even rate a phone call to tell me.

They knew I’d come.  I tell myself, it’s not me it’s them, but the lack of respect and common decency hurts.

Last week when I was leaving, rather than follow the maid upstairs, Carmela stood by the door looking at me with those eyes as if to say, please don’t go, like she knew before me, this was it.

I’ve held that face in my mind since.

I truly thought once the baby left, the crisis would pass, but was wrong.

They didn’t even fix her like they promised.

I pray that these new people are patient and don’t beat her in order to get her to behave.  I hope they are a loving, kind family who will give her the affection she so longs for and deserves.

My heart has been broken many, many times, but never like this.  It feels as if it’s been pulled up by the roots.  She was such a friend to me.  When I first lost my hearing she was the only thing that made me smile, and when I got to walk her it was as if heaven opened sending her to comfort me.

I know many of you feel as if you know her too.  Let us all hope she will be happy and well loved in her new home.

So long Tubes.  I’ll love you…always.




About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
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33 Responses to Girl Gone

  1. micklively says:

    I am confident that you’ll both come through this, but I know it’s hard in the short term.


  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    I’m praying she has found a loving home and will be much happier. It’d be great if you ran into her while she’s being walked. We need to believe that this is for the best.


    • Sadly that won’t happen since this family is in Connecticut. Mick from England sent me an email and said, animals shake things off, and I should consider all the rescues that do just find. I hope that’s the case here. But I have to tell ya Skinny, my heart is in a fucking sling.


  3. I want to shake down the maid for the address; take a trip to Connecticut; and hide in the bushes until I know Carmella is ok. I may sound like a mobster right now, but my heart is in pieces for you.


    • I want to do that too…if only I knew for sure it would make all the difference. My concern is more for her because I’ll march on a little sadder to be sure, but in gratitude for the time spent with her. Everything ends Top, good and bad. We’re Italian so we have Clemenza in our bones so move over in those bushes.. Thanks.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ally Bean says:

    She looks like a sweetie. I’m sorry that she’s out of your life, but agree with the other commenters that thanks to the kindness you showed her along the way, Carmela will do great with a new dog-centric family.

    Still, it would have been good manners for her people to tell you what was happening to her. Their behavior is unconscionable.


    • I had someone say people who already have dogs if they take on another, really must want one. Also, it’s Connecticut so I’m sure they have a yard, and frankly Ally, they didn’t take such good care of her. It was all left to the help and me. They were detached, like she was just another piece of furniture they got along the way. I am still inconsolable but have to think the best, for her. Thanks for writing.


  5. Lisa says:

    I’m so sorry Susannah. Sending you hugs through the interwebs.


  6. Elle Knowles says:

    Carmela now has doggy friends and I believe with that many animals around these new people know what is right and will get her fixed. She will mellow out and be happy. So sorry for you. ~Elle


  7. Lynn says:

    Bastards! They could have at least had the decency to call you to give you the opportunity for a proper goodbye. As for Carmela, I take some hope in the fact that this family has 3 other dogs. That tells me she will be welcomed & loved. I am so sorry for your sadness & loss Susannah. Sending you cyber hugs & wishing you a peaceful heart.


    • The truth is, if you look at their behavior all along, I shouldn’t be surprised. They treated me like a servant…not the husband so much, but the wife. OMG. She was so grand around me and her poor husband who can’t even work here, stands in her shadow. They have a daughter in her 20s who does nothing…but always said, she was Carmela’s ma-ma when she never spent two minutes with her.

      They got her as a Xmas gift the way people get bunnies on Easter, then dump them off at the ASPCA.

      Also, they could have taken her back to their house in Argentina where they have help caring for it along with two other dogs. The father and daughter do absolutely nothing…you can’t send an animal alone…and I’ll just bet, it was the money…and they simply didn’t want her anymore.

      It just breaks my heart.

      I appreciate what you wrote and please let me apology for my rant.


      • Lynn says:

        First of all, no apologies necessary, you have every reason to rant. Sadly, there are no laws preventing people from taking on animals when they really have no business doing so. There are so many cases of people gifting a cute, adorable puppy/bunny/kitten, then the reality of the care & discipline sets in. Not unlike parenting, raising a living being takes love & patience, persistence & yes, sometimes downright hanging on by your fingernails, in hopes that the guidance you are offering, is received & used.

        Carmela will be forever in your heart & you in hers, because you loved her & gave her the attentions she deserves. I pray her new owners give her the attention she deserves.


      • Thanks Lynn. She’s such a good girl with just a few not so great habits but she’s so smart, she catches on right away. Like you said, you just need a little patience.


  8. I am convinced, except for her relationship with you, that she is in a much better place. Dogs are pack animals and like to be around other dogs (mostly). If they already have 3 dogs, the new owners must have space so she will have a yard to play in. Unless they intend to breed her, they will get her spayed as it makes more sense in the long run. I don’t think you need to worry about her (but you can surely miss her). It sure sounds like the family didn’t want her which makes me wonder why they got her in the first place. Also, they aren’t nice people. Who would not at least give you a call or a text. You were the nanny and her BFF!


    • I so hope you’re right. I’m just worried they might be like her previous owners I’m ready to scream about. The truth is, they were horrible owners, never walking her…never taking hr with them. Their house is right across the Brooklyn Promenade which is the loveliest place to stroll…Brooklyn Bridge and Statue of Liberty in the distance. There’s also a dog run three minutes from their house they never took her to. They treated her like a stick of furniture. I never said anything because I knew then I couldn’t see her, but Kate, someone needs to kick the shit of these people.

      I pray she’s going to have a quality life and not have to work so hard to be loved. I can’t stop crying.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Madalena Lima says:

        Hello Susannah,
        First I want to thank you for being in Carmelas life!
        My name is Madalena, Carmela was dropped at my house by her owners. The maid was right, we do have 3 beautiful basset girls at home. Two are my adopted rescues, Ruby and Lucy and the third is our foster, Georgia Mae Hoovier! I help out at Tri-State Basset Hound Rescue and was asked to contact Pablo about a month ago because although I am Portuguese I do speak Spanish and they had trouble communicating with him. He was in no hurry to give her up, and kept mentioning the Connecticut family that wanted her but never came to get her, after I told him Tri-State had a family for her him and his wife brought her to my house in New Jersey. I am so sorry you were not given a chance to say goodbye to her. She is a beautiful, funny and silly puppy. We all fell in love with her….except my Lucy who is our protector and wasn’t sure about a new dog in the house. She stayed over one night and had a great time playing with my Ruby, they’re only 5 days apart so it was non-stop running/playing/rolling around! I have some pictures if you would like to see. I want you to know that she has been adopted to a wonderful family, that will give her lots of love and attention. She was spayed on Wednesday and is doing fine. I will let you know if I hear any other updates on her. Again thank you for being in her life and being her guardian Angel!


      • You are so sweet and kind to write to me. Today I received a photo of her with her new mom and I was so happy…bittersweet but in my heart know it’s a great home for her.

        She brought me more joy in the two years I’ve known her…how happy she was always to see me. Her kisses and how she knew I kept cookies in my pockets so she’d slyly sit on my lap and take one…she is so smart and you’re right. Funny.

        I am so touched you wrote to me. Thank you for all the love you gave her en route to hr new home.

        Thanks Madalena. Means the world.


  9. Pressing the like button was not easy today. However, I suspect that she will be okay as the family she was given to has other dogs. I say that, because one of my brother’s and his wife, have three dogs and all came from shelters, and are very happy. I believe Carmela, and you Susannah, for that matter, are both lucky to be done with them. Please smile. :O)


  10. MJ says:

    I’m heartsick at this turn of events, Susannah, and if I feel like this, how much more painful it must be for you! Carmela’s now former owners made ill-considered choices all along, their priority apparently having been their convenience rather than her welfare, and this last decision is no different. Placing a dog in an unfamiliar situation—whether a home with children, or with other dogs—is irresponsible, and leaves too much to chance. In contrast, I’ve never heard of an animal failing to thrive in the care of a single adult who treasured its companionship. That’s a match worth far more than a suburban backyard, and what’s a suburban backyard compared to Central Park?
    Well…at least Carmela is alive, and not just alive, but possessed of such qualities that someone in her new world may take her to heart and truly look after her. I think she’ll recognize that, too, because of her experience with you. Ah, but still…!


    • That’s such a kind, hopeful thing to say…she loves other dogs and wants love so bad. It used to break my heart when I’d watch them ignore her. One time the father said in broken English how crazy she was. She needed to be spayed…she needed to be hugged. She would sit in my lap on the floor of their kitchen and lick my face while I tried to drink the coffee the chef made me. They were the nicest…he and the two maids. I cried so hard in Erminia’s arms when she told me Carmela was gone. They had heart working for the heartless. Many people said useful, warm things like dogs adapt, they shake things off…think of all the rescues who recover from all types of cruelty and neglect. She’s a loving girl so let’s hope there is someone in her new world that will take her to heart and look after her. Thank you so much, always.


  11. I’m thinking of you, my dear.


  12. Driving down the turnpike through Lancaster County yesterday, I noticed a young man gardening with a big Basset Hound by his side. I must believe it was Carmela living the country life!


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