I can’t seem to run deciding my heart’s just too heavy to lift. So instead I’ve been walking and weeping, weeping and walking allowing mother nature to comfort me.
She’s the all time antidote for heartbreak since God really shows off in her presence.
I’ve seen squirrels canoodling, birds sitting on the back of benches tweeting in unison… finally, we can fucking sunbathe.
Tasmania, the golden retriever, ran to me so I could pet her. Stella and Sadie the springer spaniels also delighted me with a good scratch behind the ears (theirs not mine).
Seemed obvious the word is out I need support.
How do animals know you’re in the weeds updating your will? Even Rosie the cat who hates being held, let me carry her for a good ten minutes.
But the trees speak to me most. Just a month ago they were brown and barren, and now, flush and green. They remind me all things end, good and bad, and we must press on our grief in tow. Eventually my latest loss will be filed into the archives, next to my health and Hicks, grandfather and youth that presently feels so wasted. The scar will be there that, like all breaks, will ache when it rains.
My plate overflows with fear of the unknown. Without going into detail, I’ve had so many tests recently, any minute I’ll be writing from a test tube.
My hearing dropped no doubt from all the stress I’ve been under so I’m back on steroids. Soon you’ll see my rhythms change, posting at 2 a.m. out the door by 4. I’ll make fun of myself for again redecorating while singing Whistle While You Work till I’m weaned off my happy drug I pray hasn’t been gnawing my bones like a woodpecker.
Yes, the joys of Prednisone.
I don’t mean to whine…would much prefer a glass, but thanks so much for listening.
The Central Park running track taken by yours truly while in flight.