Test Tube Baby

images I’m here online ordering a Dior johnny coat, since they’re becoming my norm.  I question their expense when you consider they’re totally open in the back…but you know how pricy labels are.  Wonder if Tom Ford makes one.

Yes, of course I’m kidding.  A johnny coat indeed.  Why don’t I just wear a hair shirt with my monogram stitched across it in blood.

Now I know how a lab rat feels…used, stressed and under appreciated.  I’m still in the throes of an endless round of tests, the latest being what is called a gallium scan where they check for inflammation.

I’m inflamed alright, right down to my socks.

It all began with cramps in my feet leading me to a neurologist who has become my Dr. Frankenstein.  Her fascination with me, under normal circumstances, would be flattering, but I have to say, it’s getting a little out of hand.

First of all, one should never say to a neurotic, jittery girl of 60 even if you are a neurologist, that you’ve never quite seen anything like her brain before, then adding, it’s just loaded with what shouldn’t be there.  You mean like sarcasm, fury and disbelief?

“Um, so Doc, could you be a little bit more vague ya think?”

If you’ve ever looked at an MRI it’s like a map of Delaware.  There’s your head, your brain, fries on the side.  The purpose of her showing me has yet to show its inflamed head, if you know what I mean.

She’s young and excited, tactless and blunt trying to make her mark in medicine.

Of all the gin joints and hospitals in the world you have to walk into mine, if I can sickly steal and rewrite a line from Casablanca.

My latest humiliation is going for an injection that needs to sit for 48 hours before they can give me the scan.

It’s radio active, so I have visions of being lit up like a firefly as I walk down the street.  Better bring a raincoat just in case.

I must say, I’m taking all this pushing and prodding pretty well considering I’d like to kill this doctor and stuff her in a bag.  How lucky she is I hail from Connecticut where that is just not done.

In the meantime, I get up every day in my steroid haze, yes I’m still on them, proceeding like the real trooper I’ve become.

My epitaph, I’ve decided, will read.

Susannah ‘Thingirl’ Bianchi

She Did Her Best

Pissed Off But Laughing All The Way…SORT OF



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
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22 Responses to Test Tube Baby

  1. micklively says:

    In that laughter I hear hope. You’re going to be well again soon. Then your glow-worm impersonation will seem all the funnier. Keep smiling. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m by no means a neurologist, yet I would say that, although what is up there may not always please us, it is not all bad either. You are what you are. We all are faced with dissatisfaction when it comes to who we are, because in our mind, we are better, but we also are flawed. Hard to wrap our minds around that sometimes, but, if our brains are remarkable for what should not be there, then it is equally true how remarkable they are, for what is and should be there. Finding that balance is what we all are really after, and I’m guessing that’s a pretty delicate trick.


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Hopefully you’ll get to the bottom of this. As long as she is enthralled with your condition, she’ll continue to search for an answer. I worry that you’re on steroids.


  4. Elle Knowles says:

    Laughter is the best medicine. By the time they are finished prodding and poking and turning you inside-out you will have laughed the problem away! 😉 ~Elle


  5. Let’s hope they find something simple and fixable! Nothing is worse than no answer after a multitude of tests.


  6. You are one of those very special women to whom I could talk for hours and enjoy every moment of it. You sprinkle with wisdom, flavor with humor, all the while simmering whatever it is as a surprise dish. Do get well, keep writing, and put up with my comments.


  7. andifree37 says:

    Your outlook is so uplifting! Thank you


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