Your Slip Is Showing

I was in the check out line at Uniglo buying socks.  A woman in front of me with T-shirts decided to steal one.  I realized this because the tag of the shirt stuffed in her handbag was hanging out at half mast.

She was all of 20 and clearly not a very good thief.  I know you need to somehow get rid of that little plastic thingamajig or all hell’s gonna break loose when you walk out the door.

Camille, the Bonnie Parker of pinched retail, taught me everything I know.

Mind your own business circled my head like Muzak, but I couldn’t help feeling she was put in front of me for a reason, like maybe I needed to reform her or at least teach her the ropes.

“Excuse me,” I whispered, “don’t take this wrong, but I see you have a shirt in your purse, and I think if you’re really going to try to…you know, steal it…you need to get rid of that tag.”

“Ah dun know whats yous talkin about. I pay now for whats I buy.”

“Alrighty then.”

So, she does then goes on her merry way. Within five minutes we hear an alarm.  Yes sirree, Miss, ah dun know whats yous talkin about, was stopped on her way out.

I tried not to look as I passed but couldn’t help myself, especially when I heard her say,

“Hows that get in dere…eets a meestake.”

Ya think?



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in Fashion, humor, money, New York City, women and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Your Slip Is Showing

  1. Patricia says:

    I have a very boring life. I never meet anyone interesting when I buy socks.


  2. Ally Bean says:

    Ain’t it the way? You try to help– and bam! your efforts are ignored. Some days…


  3. Lynn says:

    This is hysterical, the fact that you tried to warn her & she still set off the alarm. I have said it before & I’ll say it again, “you can’t fix stupid!”


  4. Cecilia says:

    OMG, what a story, did this really happen?


  5. If you want to do something difficult: I once went to a department store and bought a shirt. When I got home, the ink-damage thing-a-ma-jig was still attached to it. Try going back to a store, even with a receipt and try to get it taken off or your money returned. Ugly…funny, but ugly.


  6. skinnyuz2b says:

    This is a classic case of survival of the fittest, even in the shoplifting world. I can’t believe she didn’t adjust the tag after you alerted her. Thanks for sharing such a funny story.


    • I don’t know what the explanation is. She clearly was embarrassed I brought it up, however, you would think she’d have heeded my advice considering her obvious intentions. I did my best in that, gee, how can I help, crazy RUN SUSANNAH way of mine. LOL


  7. Elle Knowles says:

    So funny Susannah and came at the perfect time! One of H’s band parents walked out of a shop with a hat in her hand yesterday at the amusement park we are at with the band. We got three shops down before she realized it and shoved her drink in my hand, taking off like a bullet, and shouting, “OMG! I walked out with this hat and haven’t paid for it!” We laughed so hard! Lol H had just told her the story of how one of his middle school kids got caught shoplifting on a band trip at Six Flags years ago. Hopefully your girl learned her lesson. ~Elle


    • That’s a great story…and I don’t know what happened to our girl in line…I left feeling odd like a glorified accessory unable to help in any way. One can say my Catholic guilt I think is all but gone rears its ugly head. I’m glad H’s gal at least had a little prospective on the whole thing. Love when you comment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Elle Knowles says:

        We had a good laugh over it. It would not have set a good example for those kids if it had turned out differently. Getting ready to board that yellow bus home! ~Elle


  8. Only in NYC. Around here they would either take your advice or shoot you depending on their mood.


  9. Well, you tried, in any case. Sounds like she wasn’t going to wise up without a little personal experience behind her. Hopefully that experience isn’t too painful.


  10. micklively says:

    You just can’t help some folk to help themselves.


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