21 And Steamin

I have a new neighbor upstairs who’s caught my eye.  I can’t help it since she’s a cross between Marilyn Monroe, images-2 Elly Mae Clampett images-3 and a Shetland Pony. images-1She bounces and trots, canters and wiggles with a southern accent that curls your hair.

Electric comes to mind, her presence causing a chronic stir.

This is her first apartment, so as a 21 year-old taking the city by storm, all bets are off.

The canoodling lawyer across from her (see Humpin in the Hallway) thinks he’s hallucinating every time they meet, she dazzles him so.  “Ya think she needs a lawyer?” he asked me on the stairs.

“I dunno, you tell me, what are your plans?”  He never seems to get any of my jokes, a true generation gap if there is one.

She texted to ask if she could come visit.  I opted to visit her instead since it’s easier to escape that way.

Her place is like a little pink dollhouse with IKEA couches and a king-size bed from Pottery Barn Gulliver would be quite comfy in…huge pastel pillows strewed across the floor like Scheherazade was her decorator.

She said at 2 a.m. the boy across the hall tried opening her door.  Hmm, I thought, that’s bizarre even for him.  When she said, who’s there, what do you want, he said, “Oh, hi…just came by to say hello.”

Me being the seasoned New Yorker knew exactly what had happened.  He was a little drunk thinking her door was his and when realized his mistake said something only the stupidly incapacitated would ever say…just came by to say hello.

I couldn’t help but to chuckle.

She felt my theory was plausible especially since, when she called the police, they said the same thing.

After reassuring her all was well, I rose to leave.  “Hey, can I ask you one more thing?” she said, popping off the couch.

“Do you think this is too much?”

She brought out from the bedroom a bright peach, long-lined corset that might have belonged to Mae West.  images It even had lace stays on the bottom to hook your nylons.

“I was thinking, tight black capris, heels, hoops…right?”

“In other words, no blouse over it.  This is it?”

She started bouncing like a slinky with such gusto I didn’t have the heart to say…if you were in Nashville maybe.

Imagine asking Audrey Hepburn how she feels about stringing Xmas lights across her chest.

“You know Lonnie, I’ll call her, you are a young, beautiful girl who can wear just about anything.”

“Ya think?”

“I do.”

Could have sworn she whinnied as she cantered to the door.



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in Beauty, Fashion, Home, humor, New York City, sex, Women and men and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to 21 And Steamin

  1. I would say you have boosted her ego. :O)


  2. micklively says:

    I’m still laughing Susannah. Many thanks for cheering my day. Why are they always blonde?


  3. skinnyuz2b says:

    Those were the days, Susannah. It’s been a few years (okay, a few decades) since I could pull off wearing whatever I wanted. Now I would be the target of finger pointing, and not in a good way, ha ha! You know the old saying, “Why is youth wasted on the young?”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can remember peasant blouses with the elastic pulled down my shoulder or gladiator sandals with the straps winding around my legs to my knees. I wore bizarre crap when I was young but hey, it was the 70s! You were so kind. I think you have found a new friend to mentor.


  5. Oh this one is going to give you plenty of material to write about …..


  6. Patricia says:

    I remember when I would go out at 10. And wear mini skirts and skinny tops and cute shoes. Long hair and big eyelashes and pale pink lipstick. Now I lock the door at 10, go to bed in pj pants and big t-shirts, read and talk to the boys.


  7. Be there for her when she falls (and she will) and you will be a true friend. Now, the male in me wants you to know that, from your description, I know she could wear Saran Wrap. If she does, a big part of me would like to be there…I would say shame on me, but over 90% of men would say the same.


  8. You’re hilarious, Susannah, in your descriptions. That last line is epic. 🙂


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