More Breadtime Stories

I was stretching in front of the Guggenheim Museum when I notice a bakery truck, double-parked, while watching the driver and two cops verbally duke it out.

Naturally I put that leaf in my ear to effectively eavesdrop in order to share with my esteemed readers.

The driver, a handsome black man bearing a striking resemblance to Samuel L. Jackson, was trying to stave off a ticket for being illegally parked.  You’d think at 7 a.m. it would be easier to make sneak deliveries, but clearly it isn’t.  It’s the changing of the guard for one…policemen going off duty tired and cranky, policemen coming on duty tired and cranky and you’re much more visible at that hour, like an elephant at a newsstand.

This man was saying, he’ll be responsible for that ticket if they decide to give him one.

The cop doing the talking didn’t appear too sympathetic. The fellow was breaking the law and that was all he wrote, well…if you don’t include the ticket in the batter’s box.

Then the driver said, “Hey mon, how bout a fresh roll?”

“Are you trying to bribe us with bread?”  the cop said.  And then came the best line.

“Yeah, ob-so-loot-lee.”  he said.

That’s when I decided to put my well caffeinated two cents in.

“You know officer, they’re one of the best bakeries in the city, and it is so early.  If I were you, I’d take that roll.”

“Oh you would,” said Officer Murphy, I’ll call him.

“Well who asked you?”

“No one, but he is just trying to do his job as you are, and it’s such a lovely morning.  Can I toss in, life’s short?”

It’s rare when a cop pauses, but the driver opens the back of his truck bringing out fresh kaiser rolls.

And no, he didn’t get a ticket, and even I, got a roll.

That’s what I call a perfect New York story.

SB

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About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Amazon.com. Thanks.
This entry was posted in food, Gratitude, humor, New York City and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to More Breadtime Stories

  1. Marta Frant says:

    If someone tells a police officer, “Life’s short”, it sometimes can become even shorter 🙂

    Like

  2. micklively says:

    Terrible: bribery and corruption from a public servant. I love it!
    Lovely tale Susannah, thanks.

    Like

  3. micklively says:

    ps would you call that a bun-g?

    Like

  4. skinnyuz2b says:

    Your’s was the voice that tipped the scale. That driver sure as heck should have given you a roll!

    Like

  5. How ironic that you, Susannah, the badass with a baguette, save a bread man and get a free roll? That folks is how it’s done! Loved this tale as if were smothered in butta.

    Like

  6. Elle Knowles says:

    Maybe you should advertise as a parking attendent Susannah. Good job! ~Elle

    Like

  7. Lynn says:

    Sometimes it pays to stick your nose into someone else’s business. High fives all around!

    Like

  8. Pingback: PARKING SPACES OR LACK OF… | Finding Myself Through Writing

  9. You are the best! Someone else would have sat there and laughed. You made it all better all the way around. No ticket for the driver, no paperwork for the cop, roll for Susannah! Best of all worlds.

    Like

  10. That made me laugh, Susannah. As you said, perfect New York story. It’s got a place in a great novel, just saying.

    Like

  11. MJ says:

    Going baseball on this latest of your NYC vignettes, you hit a homer, Susannah! I was going to say “triple”, but that left out your readers.

    Like

  12. Patricia says:

    Talk about being in the right place at the right time…you not the driver. I never see a bakery truck here, but then I am not usually out at 7am or up for that matter.

    Like

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