I was stretching in front of the Guggenheim Museum when I notice a bakery truck, double-parked, while watching the driver and two cops verbally duke it out.
Naturally I put that leaf in my ear to effectively eavesdrop in order to share with my esteemed readers.
The driver, a handsome black man bearing a striking resemblance to Samuel L. Jackson, was trying to stave off a ticket for being illegally parked. You’d think at 7 a.m. it would be easier to make sneak deliveries, but clearly it isn’t. It’s the changing of the guard for one…policemen going off duty tired and cranky, policemen coming on duty tired and cranky and you’re much more visible at that hour, like an elephant at a newsstand.
This man was saying, he’ll be responsible for that ticket if they decide to give him one.
The cop doing the talking didn’t appear too sympathetic. The fellow was breaking the law and that was all he wrote, well…if you don’t include the ticket in the batter’s box.
Then the driver said, “Hey mon, how bout a fresh roll?”
“Are you trying to bribe us with bread?” the cop said. And then came the best line.
“Yeah, ob-so-loot-lee.” he said.
That’s when I decided to put my well caffeinated two cents in.
“You know officer, they’re one of the best bakeries in the city, and it is so early. If I were you, I’d take that roll.”
“Oh you would,” said Officer Murphy, I’ll call him.
“Well who asked you?”
“No one, but he is just trying to do his job as you are, and it’s such a lovely morning. Can I toss in, life’s short?”
It’s rare when a cop pauses, but the driver opens the back of his truck bringing out fresh kaiser rolls.
And no, he didn’t get a ticket, and even I, got a roll.
That’s what I call a perfect New York story.