The Meaness Of Strangers

I’ve heard it said, if one’s abused as a child he’ll either become meaner than his tormentor, or the kindest soul on earth.

I make no bones about getting kicked around as a kid, and am pleased to report fall in the second category.  Just call me Saint Francis in pumps.

I suffer from hearing loss, something else I try to be open about constantly shocked at the coldness it receives, as if it were somehow catchy.  Arrogance is a terminal trait because mark my words, it will eventually bite you in the ass leaving one helluva scar.

I was the most independent person I knew giving self-possession all new meaning.  To have to ask for help is tough for me, accepting it, miraculous.  When someone snaps after I nicely ask them to repeat something, WHAT, ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF? is like a verbal assault.  I’m happy to say, despite the hurt, my heart remains open.  As a matter of fact, it spans the length and width of the Brooklyn Bridge, and for this I’m grateful.

Brooklyn Bridge is 5,989 feet long and 85 feet wide. getPartcirca 1992



About Susannah Bianchi

I'm just a girl who likes to write slightly on slant. I've had a career in fashion, dabbled in film and to be honest, I don't like talking about myself. Now my posts are another matter so I will let them speak for themselves. My eBooks, A New York Diary, Model Behavior: Friends For Life and Notes From A Working Cat can be found on Thanks.
This entry was posted in Faith, Gratitude, New York City, words and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to The Meaness Of Strangers

  1. 1992? I thought that picture was taken yesterday….come on can you just look a little older?
    The population of crotchety people has escalated to a new level these days. I’m glad to migrate towards the open hearted like yourself, it’s so much nicer on the wide side.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. skinnyuz2b says:

    So true, Susannah. My experience (mainly in social work a long time ago) is that each successive generation tends to be less and less abusive. Obviously, This is a generalization, there are plenty that escalate. Technically, we should now all be loving souls, but abuse pops up out of nowhere and begins the cycle again.
    I’m glad you are the latter and were able to find happiness.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Elle Knowles says:

    It’s hard to keep your cool when you’re always trying to be nice and not bitter. So glad you became the kindest soul on earth…~Elle

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I do think the “kindness” trait comes from something but I don’t know what. At a recent family get together I noticed that one “wing” of the family was comfortable sitting and getting waited on, always commenting on how the gathering could be better but making no effort to do anything. The other side was helping out, setting up games and refilling drinks without anyone asking. The two sides were so strikingly different that my husband and I had a conversation about it afterward. I don’t have your hearing issues but I do have some level of hearing loss. I often can’t hear people unless they are next to me and there isn’t a lot of background noise. I started telling people that I don’t hear well when I have to ask them to repeat. Most times it works but I expect that some people avoid me. In a crowded room (restaurant, noisy bar or party) it’s difficult to have a conversation with me. (Their loss! I’m interesting and so are you!)


  5. That one huge heart you have, Susannah! But then… I already knew that about you. :O)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Never change, Susannah. Some people are terrible. Great picture of you on the bridge, by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Patricia says:

    I can relate to the hearing thing to some extent. Like Kate, in crowded noisy places it is very difficult to hear. Everything is like waves of sound with no clarity. I am forever saying “what?” Those who are rude in response I ignore. They usually have nothing to say that I care to hear anyway. Clerks and service people are a different story. If they can’t be kind and thoughtful they need to find a job that doesn’t involve interaction with the public. Shame on the people who mske you cry!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I had a terrible experience yesterday with a young girl at the AT&T store. Like I may have already said, it left me in tears out of frustration mostly. I needed help but she said, we don’t do that. I had to go to the manager who kindly helped me. Took everything I had not to scream at her, but I prayed for her instead…karma is a very real thing and one day she’ll be on the other end. Compassion, is it becoming extinct Patricia?


      • Patricia says:

        Your responding with prayer instead of reacting with anger was a wonderful. blessing all around. I don’t think compassion is becoming extinct, but I do think compassionate people tend to be quieter than the rude thoughtless self-centered folks.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Agreed. We always have a choice. 12 Step taught me the difference between reacting and responding, the latter meaning taking time to pause as opposed to, shooting from the hip verbally. It really has changed things for me. I would have taken that girl’s head off before, not that she would not have deserved it, but what good would have come of it…none.

        Liked by 1 person

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